On eating out alone
tiramisu.bearblog.dev
On eating out alone
1–10 of 103 posts
Re: On eating out alone
#2This person thinks very hard about eating, and being alone while eating. It can also be as simple as eating, seated in a restaurant, by yourself. Why make it more complicated or ritual-worthy than that?
This is also one of those things were the "pressures" are self-created. People in restaurants certainly aren't shocked if you go in there by yourself.
I wonder if they've discovered the joys of going to movie theaters alone, too?
Re: On eating out alone
#3Either get a booth/table and bring your laptop/iPad/newspaper with you, or sit at the bar and either people-watch or make conversation with others.
Re: On eating out alone
#4This person thinks very hard about eating, and being alone while eating. It can also be as simple as eating, seated in a restaurant, by yourself. Why make it more complicated or ritual-worthy than that? This is also one of those things were the "pressures" are self-created. People in restaurants certainly aren't shocked if you go in there by yourself. I wonder if they've discovered the joys of going to movie theaters…
Years ago when I had much less responsibility and a MoviePass I went to the theater alone regularly. It was great. I could watch whatever I was interested in and didn't have to convince anyone to join me. I saw Alien on the big screen for the first time during a special showing, it was great!
Re: On eating out alone
#5This person thinks very hard about eating, and being alone while eating. It can also be as simple as eating, seated in a restaurant, by yourself. Why make it more complicated or ritual-worthy than that? This is also one of those things were the "pressures" are self-created. People in restaurants certainly aren't shocked if you go in there by yourself. I wonder if they've discovered the joys of going to movie theaters…
Yeah. If the author is afraid of appearing lonely, one of the most liberating things to realise is that nobody really gives a shit about you. At most, people will glance and exchange a few words upon noticing you before moving on to some other topic. For everyone else you're just part of the background of their life. Everyone is too busy thinking about their own insecurities and experience to think about you, generally speaking.
The only time people will go out of their way to be cruel about such things is in school, which leads me to suspect the author might have had a rough time.
Re: On eating out alone
#6Eating out alone really hurts. It makes you feel that much more _alone_ because nearly everyone else is with their SO, a party, friend, etc. Bringing a phone is only a distraction to get through waiting for the meal to arrive.
I dislike it more than being alone at home.
Re: On eating out alone
#7Re: On eating out alone
#8This person thinks very hard about eating, and being alone while eating. It can also be as simple as eating, seated in a restaurant, by yourself. Why make it more complicated or ritual-worthy than that? This is also one of those things were the "pressures" are self-created. People in restaurants certainly aren't shocked if you go in there by yourself. I wonder if they've discovered the joys of going to movie theaters…
This is a little like saying "just do it". It's not really pragmatic. Many humans feel uncomfortable being "exposed" in various ways, and one of those ways is being conspicuous in public. I enjoy going to the theater alone, but you're sitting in the dark among people in a continuous sea of seats, not grouped into tables. In a restaurant, it feels conspicuous to be eating alone, even though I have the experience of being on the other side of it - seeing people eating alone at restaurants all the time, and never giving a single thought about them. Self-consciousness isn't compelled by logic.
For some reason I've never had this issue at diners though. It's always a joy to eat alone at 6 am in a diner, no matter how many other parties are there. I don't know how that environment tricks my brain into feeling comfortable. Bars, too. I guess there is a popular image of lone patrons in these settings, and it makes one feel less conspicuous.
Re: On eating out alone
#9Before the pandemic, I used to go out alone on purpose just to meet random people. (I'm married.) I know this isn't for everyone, but I got good at it and I enjoy(ed) it. I've noticed however, that this is a skill that can atrophy. It's taken me a little while to get back to my old self in public places.
Re: On eating out alone
#10I love eating out alone, as well as watching movies alone, taking walks alone, even traveling abroad alone (/r/solotravel) and so on. It's so much more liberating to do things you want to do at the exact time you want to do them without having to wait for anybody to accompany you.
At the same time, I'm not sure why there's so much anxiety from the author about doing things alone. As I'm not one of those people, perhaps I have a hard time understanding it, but the truth is, no one gives a shit about you in their day to day life, so there's really no societal pressure that I think the author feels.