On Being Rich-ish: Lessons I learned becoming suddenly middle-class • Hacker News Board

Re: On Being Rich-ish: Lessons I learned becoming suddenly middle-class

#11

Post by h4waii » Thu, Aug 04, 2022, 4:10 PM UTC

legitster wrote: post #7

I can relate to a lot of this, I was pretty stinking poor growing up. Now I make good money. (I still buy used tires from shady lots tho). But even now that I'm making good money, it boggles my mind how richer everyone else still seems. Like, how do so many young people have a favorite island in Hawaii? How is everyone out there affording new cars? People actually picked a college major without thinking about cost? O…

All platitudes aside, comparison really is the thief of joy.

Lots of people have very different situations from what they project (witting or unwittingly), they might be running up debt to pay for their lifestyle or maybe they have profitable small side businesses, and bartend for the bills and social aspect.

Focus on your journey, and where you are on the path, don't get distracted with people "passing" you on shorter, longer, or completely different paths.

Re: On Being Rich-ish: Lessons I learned becoming suddenly middle-class

#12

Post by legitster » Thu, Aug 04, 2022, 4:10 PM UTC

commandlinefan wrote: post #8

> Food is huge here I thought about that recently when I went to the grocery store - when I was fresh out of college, making ~$30k/year, I remember always going to the grocery store and keeping a running total in my head of how much I was spending so I didn't go over $70, since I knew my debit card would be declined if I did. Now I don't even pay attention to how much individual items cost - I just grab what I need.

I dunno. Even when I was making minimum wage, groceries never seemed like a significant part of my budget. I never understood people trying to save 10c to get, like, the cheapest mustard possible. Compared to the big expenses (rent) food was really a small percentage of a budget, especially if you avoid stocking up on meat or alcohol.

I remember being much more frustrated by friends trying to drag me out to eat at restaurants or throwing away food. Like, one sit down meal was worth three days of groceries!

Re: On Being Rich-ish: Lessons I learned becoming suddenly middle-class

#13

Post by legitster » Thu, Aug 04, 2022, 4:12 PM UTC

___rubidium___ wrote: post #5

woweoe wrote: post #4

This might be a very non American problem, but people forget that there are social pressures to follow when you are middle class that cost more money.

It's also an American problem. I notice it most in the pressure to have a nice front lawn. In some American neighborhoods, if you don't regularly cut your grass, people will call the police.

> In some American neighborhoods, if you don't regularly cut your grass, people will call the police.

If you can afford to live in one of these neighborhoods, you are already middle class.

Re: On Being Rich-ish: Lessons I learned becoming suddenly middle-class

#14

Post by [deleted] » Thu, Aug 04, 2022, 4:17 PM UTC

legitster wrote: post #13

___rubidium___ wrote: post #5

Earlier quoted context omitted.

It's also an American problem. I notice it most in the pressure to have a nice front lawn. In some American neighborhoods, if you don't regularly cut your grass, people will call the police.

> In some American neighborhoods, if you don't regularly cut your grass, people will call the police. If you can afford to live in one of these neighborhoods, you are already middle class.

[deleted]

Re: On Being Rich-ish: Lessons I learned becoming suddenly middle-class

#15

Post by commandlinefan » Thu, Aug 04, 2022, 4:18 PM UTC

legitster wrote: post #7

I can relate to a lot of this, I was pretty stinking poor growing up. Now I make good money. (I still buy used tires from shady lots tho). But even now that I'm making good money, it boggles my mind how richer everyone else still seems. Like, how do so many young people have a favorite island in Hawaii? How is everyone out there affording new cars? People actually picked a college major without thinking about cost? O…

I couldn't help but do the same thing when I was reading the article, in the opposite direction: "wait - you had a wife and you were poor?" When I was young and my income was low or nonexistent, it seemed like women could smell the poverty on me and I couldn't even get close to them. It was like trying to sneak up on a grazing gazelle - they'd hear me coming and just sprint to a safe distance. The more money I made, the closer I could get until I finally made enough money that they stayed close enough to talk to.

Even now, married 20 years, the author talks about the burden on his wife and kids if he went back to being poor - I'm sure my wife would just leave if I was genuinely stuck in a poverty cycle with no way of getting out, and I wouldn't really blame her.

Re: On Being Rich-ish: Lessons I learned becoming suddenly middle-class

#16

Post by lampshades » Thu, Aug 04, 2022, 4:26 PM UTC

> When you get a good job, someone will ask you how much money you want to dump into your 401k. You will probably say “none” because you are conditioned to believe that trouble is just around the corner

This was relatable. While never having to support a family of 4 on 35k, I did have a period of my life where I was very broke on my own. When I finally started to climb out of my situation, I remember thinking people were idiots for putting money in a 401k. You can’t get it out if you need it. It took 5 years of stable employment before I actually started putting money into a 401k.

Re: On Being Rich-ish: Lessons I learned becoming suddenly middle-class

#17

Post by hnaccount141 » Thu, Aug 04, 2022, 4:27 PM UTC

legitster wrote: post #7

I can relate to a lot of this, I was pretty stinking poor growing up. Now I make good money. (I still buy used tires from shady lots tho). But even now that I'm making good money, it boggles my mind how richer everyone else still seems. Like, how do so many young people have a favorite island in Hawaii? How is everyone out there affording new cars? People actually picked a college major without thinking about cost? O…

> Like, how do so many young people have a favorite island in Hawaii? How is everyone out there affording new cars?

The reality is that oftentimes they simply can't, at least according to a responsible definition of "afford".

All we see from the outside is the brand new Jeep, we don't see the fact that they're underwater on a 72 month loan with 6% interest. The average car loan term in 2019 was 69 months, that's insane. Something like 30% of trade ins have negative equity.

Even ignoring debt, I've spoken to a surprising number of people who make great money and live lavishly but have effectively no retirement savings. The level of financial literacy in the US is abysmal.

Re: On Being Rich-ish: Lessons I learned becoming suddenly middle-class

#18

Post by legitster » Thu, Aug 04, 2022, 4:32 PM UTC

h4waii wrote: post #11

legitster wrote: post #7

I can relate to a lot of this, I was pretty stinking poor growing up. Now I make good money. (I still buy used tires from shady lots tho). But even now that I'm making good money, it boggles my mind how richer everyone else still seems. Like, how do so many young people have a favorite island in Hawaii? How is everyone out there affording new cars? People actually picked a college major without thinking about cost? O…

All platitudes aside, comparison really is the thief of joy. Lots of people have very different situations from what they project (witting or unwittingly), they might be running up debt to pay for their lifestyle or maybe they have profitable small side businesses, and bartend for the bills and social aspect. Focus on your journey, and where you are on the path, don't get distracted with people "passing" you on short…

Certainly. My point was largely that poor vs wealthy is often hard to actually tell.

In the case of the bartender, this wasn't actually a hypothetical: I have more than one friend in this exact situation - they got one good inheritance, are waiting on another, and in the meantime live rent free at a parent's property. In both instances they even get aid from the state.

While they appear poor on paper (and they often describe themselves as poor), they have tremendous resources at their disposal.

Re: On Being Rich-ish: Lessons I learned becoming suddenly middle-class

#19

Post by [deleted] » Thu, Aug 04, 2022, 4:36 PM UTC

commandlinefan wrote: post #15

legitster wrote: post #7

I can relate to a lot of this, I was pretty stinking poor growing up. Now I make good money. (I still buy used tires from shady lots tho). But even now that I'm making good money, it boggles my mind how richer everyone else still seems. Like, how do so many young people have a favorite island in Hawaii? How is everyone out there affording new cars? People actually picked a college major without thinking about cost? O…

I couldn't help but do the same thing when I was reading the article, in the opposite direction: "wait - you had a wife and you were poor?" When I was young and my income was low or nonexistent, it seemed like women could smell the poverty on me and I couldn't even get close to them. It was like trying to sneak up on a grazing gazelle - they'd hear me coming and just sprint to a safe distance. The more money I made,…

[deleted]

Re: On Being Rich-ish: Lessons I learned becoming suddenly middle-class

#20

Post by edmcnulty101 » Thu, Aug 04, 2022, 4:49 PM UTC

Good lord I can relate.

The freaking idea that money makes problems go away is so powerful.

That's basically what I noticed as I get less poor.

Automobile problems...pay for it. Medical problems...pay for it. Did you get a parking ticket? Pay it. Now you don't have to worry about being towed.

America really crushes the poor in many respects.

If the poor had other options, like Job corps, or a sharecropper type situation where they can stay rent free and learn skills.... that would be one thing. But there's nothing available to poor people other than to just fucking be poor or get lucky...and getting lucky seems like a rediculous way to build a society.

Then you combine that with massive offshoring and automation..... It makes you realize capitalism is kind of bullshit if there's 7 billion people in the world willing to do the job.

It's a total clown world.