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Ask HN: I'm in a rut. How did you get out of yours?

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Re: Ask HN: I'm in a rut. How did you get out of yours?

#151
How I got out of my rut:

1. Moved across the country from Chicago, IL to Portland, OR

I don't know how people live in these massive cities with zero good nature to explore around them. Overcrowded, overpriced, overrated! What a miserable existence I lived! Now I go out and explore the Pacific Northwest which has a seemingly inexhaustible bounty of outdoor activities to do.

Additionally it made me realize my current friend group wasn't all that great. The people I met in Oregon are much more open to my artistic expression, novice as it is, and they in themselves are MUCH more accomplished artists than me.

Even with the houseless problem here, I have ZERO regrets.

2. I got organized.

I read two books:

- Deep Work

- Atomic Habits

"Deep Work" made me realize my basic methodology for getting shit done was broken. I need unbroken blocks of time to actually accomplish work. Which I express in my meetings with managers, and if I don't get that time, i make it clear why work doesn't get done.

Atomic Habits gave me a framework for how to actually get shit done. Instead of tracking "goals", which I have come to despise, I track time. It is less stressful, and is the real leading metric for achieving my goals anyway. Work + time = results.

3. I changed jobs

All jobs suck, but jobs that don't such TOO much are rare. I had 5 jobs in 3 years, and I have ZERO regrets moving on when something wasn't working. Businesses would eventually fail the "Clown Test" and i would start applying.

One thing I DO regret is quitting with nothing lined up. That was a brutal 6 months of searching.

4. I started listening to audio books when I run

Sometimes I still drag my feet in the morning before my run, but other times I am excited to continue the story i am listening to. Cut down massively on boredom!

This also feeds into the huge city thing: My route on my morning run is along a road with a massive sidewalk, alongside the Willamette river. When the sun is shining and reflecting off the river, it is a breathtaking view. So much more pleasant than the game of frogger I used to play in Chicago.

edit: actually, i want to add one more book to my list: "Laziness does not Exist"

You are allowed to take breaks when you are tired. Boredom at work is exhausting. You are not a robot, and if you don't have energy it needs to come from somewhere else.

Kinda sounds like your job sucks.

Re: Ask HN: I'm in a rut. How did you get out of yours?

#154
While supporting all the individual tips here as well, trying to understand the underlying societal dynamics of mental issues can also create new perspectives, new motivation, and relieve.

For starters, I would recommend Mark Fisher's (RIP) work: http://k-punk.abstractdynamics.org/

Re: Ask HN: I'm in a rut. How did you get out of yours?

#155
Check out healthygamergg. He's selling a product and also has a lot of filler. But u should be able to glean enough. Also the excercise as others have mentioned and check out what I've learned on youtube about meditation, mindfulness, porn, dopamine. And eat clean! Maybe pray

Re: Ask HN: I'm in a rut. How did you get out of yours?

#156

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Well what worked for me might not work for them - no one will get out of a rut without positivity though. Maybe getting high and playing video games is the solution and the guy goes full time streamer and loves his work all of a sudden! Who knows :)

I don't think anyone takes issue with your belief that you need to get positive, more as advice it sounds similar to "get confident" or other "outcomes as strategies" statements.

That’s fair, good point :)

Re: Ask HN: I'm in a rut. How did you get out of yours?

#157

It looks like you have discovered that life is boring. Doesn't matter in tech or any profession, we work to create wealth and get so engrossed in it. Once we conquer the "wealth" part we feel we don't have a meaning or a purpose anymore. And life is actually boring. To see life is boring and has no meaning is intelligence. I would go as far as to say only fools don't realize that life is boring and go on distracting…

I don't think life is _necessarily_ boring as you claim. It's just that a lot about life is boring, particularly working at a job you don't intrinsically enjoy as well as things like commuting, preparing/waiting for food, etc. But a best friend? A delicious meal? Making love? Learning something you want to know about? I could go on. If you're bored, it's because your life is structured to not contain any of the thing…

I thought his point was valuable, but you're right - life is certainly not all boring.

But it's important to be able to dwell in boredom, or "less exciting" things.

I think it's fundamentally about purpose. If you know that your work allows you to do the things you love, and you can find any joy in it, then it's possible to be content with the trade.

If you can't find joy in the job: you have some soul searching to do. Is it that the job just sucks? (they're out there) Or are you having trouble enjoying life generally? It sounds like it's more of the latter. If so, the job isn't the problem and a new one won't be the solution.

When I've felt like that, what's helped is to change my environment. Really seek out things I feel driven to do (hobbies, new sports, exploration, etc). Learn new things, meet new people. Take some vacation. Quit seeking cheap gratification and invest in myself in ways I feel good about (working out, being active, helping people, meditating/etc). Be honest about your situation, is there something secretly driving you nuts that you could fix but are avoiding awareness of?

And doing drugs, binging on shows, video games - these will sap you of your own internal reservoir of drive, and probably make you feel bad right after you've done it. Kind of like junk food for the mind.

In the interium, I'd say forget about the video game (and don't shame yourself on that) and just pick very small things to play with intellectually. The goal should be something modest and achievable that you're genuinely driven towards. Do something small achievable that you'll feel good about, and just do it. Do this a few times, and congratulate yourself on the achievement (focus on the benefit of the learning or effort). Make this a pattern, and you'll start to dig out of the hole.

Re: Ask HN: I'm in a rut. How did you get out of yours?

#158
post #98

Earlier quoted context omitted.

This is good advice, but depression can make these things hard to accomplish. I’ve experienced this before — falling into a rut, becoming depressed and having extraordinary difficulty getting back up. It’s like a motivation off-switch. Talk therapy is good. Try to find a therapist that you can trust. Don’t be afraid of anti-depressants, especially for something likely to be shorter term like this. They don’t change y…

+1000 Thanks for mentioning this. If it’s depression then talking to a doctor is really important, and if you’re unsure of wether it’s a rut or depression then err on the side of caution and speak to a doctor. There’s apps like Talking Space that let you speak to a therapist if you’d rather go ‘off the books’ so to speak.

Ok so now, can I go directly to a therapist or do I need to fight a bureaucratic machine to get a recommendation or some shit.

Re: Ask HN: I'm in a rut. How did you get out of yours?

#159

Exercise, drop the drugs, ensure you have some part of your identity unrelated to work. I was in a rut for years because my work was my identity and I wasn’t where I wanted to be (thank you effective altruism for the identity crisis lol). When I moved out to California I quit drinking (for a while, quit again more recently), focused on exercising, and set a goal of not seeing my whole identity as a software developer…

I agree, at least in spirit. I exercise 2 hours per day, 5 times a week, and eat healthy food: vegetables, protein, no snacks, low sugar, low salt, no ketchup, no mustard, no mayonnaise, no oil for cooking, basically anything doctors recommend, I do it, and I have been doing it for the last 5 years or so. Does it help? Probably. Do I still feel constant dread? Yes, every single day, but I learned to live with that fe…

Please add animal fats or olive oil to your diet. The modern processed oils are bad. Animal based fats or olive, coconut and other traditional oils are better. Avoid palm, corn, vegetable oil. Also salt is healthy. Check out the channel what I've learned on youtube.

Re: Ask HN: I'm in a rut. How did you get out of yours?

#160
You need to go on a vision quest. Shrooms - but! measure your dose very carefully, a little less that 3.5oz, on a bright sunny day with trusted friends in a park without many people. That will fix you. Or else send you to hell. Either way you’ll be out of the rut
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