New York. [...] easier for me to find work as
a technical writer than as a software engineer
[...] I started the job this past fall.
The job market was absolutely
booming last fall, though?
I believe you, but it seems to me there is perhaps more to the story if you were unable to find a software dev job last fall.
All I really look forward to these days is getting high
I think pot can be great, but maybe it's not working for
you? Also, I have ADHD. This is probably relevant,
but I haven't quite figured out how.
Fellow diagnosed ADHD guy here. It's
always relevant. It permeates everything. It definitely makes every job more stressful, unless it's some kind of magical job that somehow indulges your ADHD.
but I haven't touched [my game] in months. I'm not
even sure I want to continue it [...] this is coming
from someone who got into computer science _because_
of video games.
*if you've ever been in this kind of rut, what was
the nature of that rut and what did you do about it?*
Maybe you've moved on from video games. I think that's happening to me. It's hard to tell if it's anhedonia and/or moving on from games.
It's scary to think perhaps I've moved on from games because (like you) they are/were very integral to why I do this.
What about this: what if you give yourself permission to step away from your game project for N weeks/months?
what did you do about it?
It's such a cliched and often glib answer, but exercise and/or spending time in nature are pretty much the only things guaranteed to make you feel X% better. The trick with the exercise bit is finding some form of exercise you enjoy.
Therapy can help. Not a magic solution either but I think it's a net positive. But it's hard to find a therapist you click with.
What about going back to software development?