Sorry I only have a minute, but: search for the thread a few days ago about personal trainers
Ask HN: I'm in a rut. How did you get out of yours?
81–90 of 227 posts
Re: Ask HN: I'm in a rut. How did you get out of yours?
#82I've been in a very similar situation to you, right down to many of the details. There are a ton of obvious suggestions, e.g. exercise, try to go outside everyday even for 5 mins, talk to friends more, focus on one side project at a time etc. but the problem wasn't the ideas for me. it was the motivation to do them. For that, the thing that helped above all was therapy and opening up more to my closest friends. I wish you all the best - things can change quicker than expected.
Re: Ask HN: I'm in a rut. How did you get out of yours?
#83> Also, I have ADHD. This is probably relevant, but I haven't quite figured out how. Yeah, ditto but having been through these ruts many times in the past I can offer some advice ADHD makes you incapable of settling into easy You have work to do but it's easy. You have a side project but you've figured out the hard parts and so it's just the implementation grind, which is easy. Find a challenge switch your side proje…
> ADHD makes you incapable of settling into easy > You have work to do but it's easy. You have a side project but you've figured out the hard parts and so it's just the implementation grind, which is easy. Oh no. That describes me to a T. Is there a differential diagnosis for this kind of behavior?
A PsyD can assess your focus level using a few diagnostics and if you don’t have other problems that better explain your focus deficit (e.g. PTSD or depression) you will be diagnosed with ADHD.
Talk to your doctor about it. If you can get in with the PsyD the process is pretty easy and non-painful.
The hard part is adapting how you approach the world once you know that you have ADHD, but it’s absolutely worth it.
Re: Ask HN: I'm in a rut. How did you get out of yours?
#84> Also, I have ADHD. This is probably relevant, but I haven't quite figured out how.
not a minor detail. take some time to recharge and build anticipation for your work.
some things that help me a lot, in no particular order, which may or may not resonate with you:
- get a therapist
- get medicated
- spend time meditating
- make sure you're staying hydrated and eating healthy foods
- stretch, try to exercise. if you can't exercise still stretch. if you can only exercise for 2 minutes, do that, if you can't at all, that's ok. still try to stretch
- avoid telling yourself what you should or shouldn't do. keep things very optional and open. It's really easy to be compulsively telling yourself what you should be doing all day every day. I keep a "possibilities" list, and only add to it when i'm feeling overwhelmed like i need to do everything all at once. putting stuff onto the list makes me feel like i've made progress on it, even if i haven't -- which is fine, because the goal is to make sure I don't forget, to give it a bit of attention, but not distract or take over what i'm actually trying to accomplish
- try to catch when you're telling yourself what you should do, and reframe it as something you could do, and how it might benefit you to do it
- get some sunlight, or at least a happy light. it will help regulate hormones and your sleep cycle
- practice sleep hygiene and get a healthy amount of sleep
- take all of what you said, and say "...and that's ok" -- practice acceptance. you're working on improving your situation, even if it feels like you haven't. reaching out to HN like this is a big thing.
- don't try to get out of the rut, just try to be at peace with yourself. the rut will pass, but fighting it will elongate it.
- find and fix the small stressors in your life. small changes can make a big difference.
- develop routines so you can spend more time on autopilot, or not have to worry about stuff
- don't try to do too much at once. set small achievable incremental goals for yourself. your goal is to be doing better, however small of an increment that may be
- > All I really look forward to these days is getting high
I say this with absolutely no judgement: this is probably negatively impacting you. Something that helped me is switching to 20:1 cbd:thc vape cartridges. Maybe try with 5:1, then 10:1. This is also assuming it's legal where you are.
The goal is to find ways to take care of yourself, honor your needs, and really nurse yourself to a better place. Many of the things are about taking care of the body -- the state of your body has a big impact on your state of mind.
You'll get there
Re: Ask HN: I'm in a rut. How did you get out of yours?
#85Sound's like you just straight up don't like your job, so I'd say get the CV up to scratch and start looking elsewhere.
Also, working from home is not for everyone. It pains me to say it, but I can't work from home. All I do is have an existential crisis about my life and I want to be anywhere else doing anything else, the whole time. In the office, I just crack on.
Re: Ask HN: I'm in a rut. How did you get out of yours?
#86> All I really look forward to these days is getting high and playing video games
Agreed with others say regarding dropping the drugs. South Park quote that's relevant here...
Randy: Well, Stan, the truth is marijuana probably isn't gonna make you kill people, and it most likely isn't gonna fund terrorism, but… well, son, pot makes you feel fine with being bored. And it's when you're bored that you should be learning some new skill or discovering some new science or being creative. If you smoke pot you may grow up to find out that you aren't good at anything.
Re: Ask HN: I'm in a rut. How did you get out of yours?
#87Exercise, drop the drugs, ensure you have some part of your identity unrelated to work. I was in a rut for years because my work was my identity and I wasn’t where I wanted to be (thank you effective altruism for the identity crisis lol). When I moved out to California I quit drinking (for a while, quit again more recently), focused on exercising, and set a goal of not seeing my whole identity as a software developer…
I might quibble a bit with the 'just stay positive' line, but the "identity that's unrelated to work" is so real, crucial, and easy to overlook. Trying to jam a sense of life purpose that's a circle into a square hole of "make money" just leads to being miserable for the sake of being miserable.
Re: Ask HN: I'm in a rut. How did you get out of yours?
#88[deleted]
Re: Ask HN: I'm in a rut. How did you get out of yours?
#89If this is a possibility, try to take some time off and focus on the very basics of life. As intellectual people we tend to skip over the basics since our minds are elsewhere thinking about something “important”. As it turns out, to live an effective life you have to spend time thinking about very mundane, real-world chore-like things. This was very hard for me to really internalize. I ended up quitting my first job out of college due to mental health decline, but also due to the fact that I couldn’t honestly take care of myself. I was at a top tech company, I could hold intelligent conversation, but there was so much I skipped over (out of necessity really).
Now I’m rebuilding myself from the ground up. The basics: structuring my day, eating regularly, even things like grooming myself and of course exercise (though I’ve been slacking). Really it feels great to finally be able to be “dumb” for a while. I’m not coding intensively though I’m keeping up with the field and dabbling here and there. Otherwise I’m trying to live as if I weren’t smart. It’s very liberating but hard at first to dedicate yourself to your actual self and not your work.
Like others said, definitely cut out the dopamine hits (weed, passive TV) if you can. Maybe try the fabled dopamine detox.
Whatever you do, you’re not alone! I’ve got buddies in other fields in similar positions. Like a great burn out from tech and all this instant gratification. Good luck!
Re: Ask HN: I'm in a rut. How did you get out of yours?
#90I'd echo a few sentiments already listed. This sounds a lot like burnout. Therapy is probably one of the first things I'd recommend, but I'll also note that finding a therapist when you're struggling with your mental health is a really hard thing to do... so be patient with yourself. If you find a therapist and you're not vibing with what they're saying or it makes you feel worse, drop them.
I was going through burnout in 2021. Took medical leave from work which helped somewhat. I went to a therapist that recommended keeping a positivity journal which absolutely exhausted me to even think about. Dropped them and found someone closer aligned to a medical context (through the same company that provided a psychiatrist that I also sought for adhd treatment). It helped, a lot.
Email is in my account if you'd like to talk more about it. I've got some resources I could send your way.