51–60 of 69 posts
And there's even a reference in here to the HN topic of the day - swearing in front of an audience! > 2. Swearing can help influence an audience. Light swearing, that is. (Go overboard and lose all credibility.)
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As someone who has met a few of the people from The Game, I can tell you it's mostly crapware with very little to learn from. The basic flaw with The Game(and most of the games of the characters in it) is that they take this to such extreme that instead of becoming charming and attractive, you become a paranoid insecure jerk. That said, The Game has helped motivate many to take action in a critical area of their life…
I always refer to it as a 'cargo cult' theory of human interaction
OF COURSE people will find it easier to agree with you if they have agreed with you before - that should be obvious. The question is - what do you have to do to get that? 'The Game' seems to say - "well, anything that is necessary, of course", as though aping people into nodding was some kind of accomplishment and as though that accomplishment in itself was admirable and healthy.
I'd rather have people actually agree with me in small things that we both care about and then be happy to agree with me big time. If you need to bullshit, "warm up" or in some other ways mislead people (and yes, that includes "Weather is great, isn't it?" when you don't really care about the weather), you are building a pile of very tiny lies to make the jump to the big lie less noticeable. At some point, you will just cross the bullshit horizon, the point at which MOSTLY what you do is lie to and trick people - and have fun with your empty soul while you're at it.
It is indeed a cargo cult - you do achieve things with it, but then you sit there in your wooden mock-up flight control tower next to your empty dirt runway wearing your headphones made of straws and wonder why you never seem to actually be happy.
My wife is the Guadagno in Guadagno and Cialdini and if the reporting of her findings is any guide, ignore the rest of the article. Her findings were that women will not respond well to email unless there's an existing relationship. Men will respond better to email if there's an existing negative relationship, but it otherwise makes no difference. The error is forgivable if the writer only read the title of the artic…
One of the best ways to influence people is to ask someone to do a favor for you. Especially if the person you are asking has more perceived power. It is called the "Ben Franklin Effect" Teenage girl (to teenage guy): "Can you help me with my homework?" http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ben_Franklin_effect
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> Have you read the cited study? Same as you. It costs $11 to read that thing and I assure you, nobody has read it (except maybe now that I said it out of spite). It looky like every other pop-psy study out there, many of which have been discredited over the years - at least the ones that people actually bothered with. It's unscientific trash designed to support broad generalizations and preconceptions. The entire fi…
Robert Cialdini, one of the people behind this study, is one of the most respected people in the field in the last 20 years.
He confirms that it's a grossly misrepresentative pop-psychology spin on a real study.
Get people to agree with you first A slight twist to this: get people to say yes. My "success rate" (with approaching women) went up drastically when I changed the first words out of my mouth to " Can you hear me? ". I now ask this even when I know a woman doesn't have earphones on. Why does it work? I have a couple of guesses. It is a question that you can't help reply to. And inadvertently when you answer this ques…
Reminds me of a scene in Boiler Room : Ask him questions. Ask him rhetorical questions. It doesn't matter, just get a 'yes' out of him. If you were drowning and I threw you a life jacket, would you grab it? Yes. Good. Pick up 200 shares. I won't let you down. Ask him if he wants to see 30-40% returns. What's he gonna say, 'no, I don't want to see those returns'? http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=izOIOvguncU&feature=rela…
Brilliant (but NSFW, language) "Always Be Closing" scene to give you a feel for it: www.youtube.com/watch?v=y-AXTx4PcKI
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I always refer to it as a 'cargo cult' theory of human interaction
I always wondered what bothered me about these 'The Game' approaches to "successfully influence people" and I think you really nailed it down. OF COURSE people will find it easier to agree with you if they have agreed with you before - that should be obvious. The question is - what do you have to do to get that? 'The Game' seems to say - "well, anything that is necessary, of course", as though aping people into noddi…
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I always wondered what bothered me about these 'The Game' approaches to "successfully influence people" and I think you really nailed it down. OF COURSE people will find it easier to agree with you if they have agreed with you before - that should be obvious. The question is - what do you have to do to get that? 'The Game' seems to say - "well, anything that is necessary, of course", as though aping people into noddi…
But it's not a cargo cult if it works, or even partially works.
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But it's not a cargo cult if it works, or even partially works.
It took me a second too. What the gp says is that the fake relationships are cargo too. The players are mistaking the thing for its description. Beautiful people are not beautiful relationships, and friendships built on lies and partial truths are trustless and empty.
Similarly, while some of the relationships formed from your pickup skills may be premised almost entirely on lies, that is not the norm. I'd actually say most relationships turn out to be much like normal relationships--and most certainly not a type where the other party is thinking you're a millionaire when in fact you are broke in reality.
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It took me a second too. What the gp says is that the fake relationships are cargo too. The players are mistaking the thing for its description. Beautiful people are not beautiful relationships, and friendships built on lies and partial truths are trustless and empty.
Alright now, let's not oversimplify this. There are billion shades of gray in how truthful we are in our daily relationships. Most people hide stuff from those close to us on a daily basis. Does this render those relationships as fake or almost fake? I'd argue no. Similarly, while some of the relationships formed from your pickup skills may be premised almost entirely on lies, that is not the norm. I'd actually say m…
"I'd actually say most relationships turn out to be much like normal relationships"
I'm not sure you realize how extremely shady that sounds. Does that really sound satisfying to you? Real and honest? I understand that manipulating people into forming a relationship (of whatever kind) with you can somewhere in the end resemble something like a genuine relationship. But that still doesn't make it a genuine relationship. It either is a runway and you are a tower operator, or not.
If you define a relationship as one where two people occupy the same room and have frequent conversations then a lot of things are a relationship - all the way to a torture chamber. What I'm talking about is two people who really care about each other.
'The Game' is very particularly about getting women into bed. Being in bed together is usually related to a deep, emotional connection, but pickup artists just care about that last bit. To stay in the metaphor: They really, really do care about making those cargo planes appear. Boy do they ever love that cargo. They do everything they have seen others do to provoke the kind of reaction from the planes that they have observed. What they don't care so much about is what those planes are, why they usually care about ACTUAL runways and care about having a very good reason to drop off their cargo.
Because if they did care to understand, they'd very quickly see how pathetic it is to sit in that makeshift straw hut pretending to be an international airport.
So yes, Radix is correct - that's what I'm talking about. What ends up on the runway are either pilots who actually wanted to be somewhere else and try their best to take off as fast as possible, or are other islanders who push their own wooden boxes with straw wings onto the dirt road.
[edit] Maybe the easiest way to sum this up is: The fact that cargo arrives on your dirt runway doesn't make you a proper army radio tower operator. The fact that you score women or get people to do things that you want doesn't make you a good partner or friend.