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Ask HN: How to keep my daughter busy while tickling her curiosity

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Re: Ask HN: How to keep my daughter busy while tickling her curiosity

#151

Post by marconey »

oblib wrote: post #141

I became a single parent when my daughter turned 1 year old. When she got old enough we'd go fishing, bicycling, swimming, and hiking a lot. We'd also go to a used book store twice a month (on pay day) so she could pick out a few books to read. She loved doing that. She had no interest at all in learning how to code or gaming but she loved helping in the garden and in the kitchen prepping and cooking meals. When she…

Thanks for sharing, hoping I can follow suit and raise an independent free-range daughter who likes me!

Re: Ask HN: How to keep my daughter busy while tickling her curiosity

#153

Post by lern_too_spel »

nickysielicki wrote: post #146
oblib wrote: post #141

I became a single parent when my daughter turned 1 year old. When she got old enough we'd go fishing, bicycling, swimming, and hiking a lot. We'd also go to a used book store twice a month (on pay day) so she could pick out a few books to read. She loved doing that. She had no interest at all in learning how to code or gaming but she loved helping in the garden and in the kitchen prepping and cooking meals. When she…

We have such a weird culture around how we treat teenagers in this country. We all remember drinking and smoking as teens, but parents tends to rule with an iron fist and convince themselves that they have more control than their parents did, which means we force healthy normal curious kids to go out to a secluded area (probably by car) to get high or drunk or explore in other ways, away from an adult that could help…

Speak to your kids like adults, explaining why some choices lead to worse outcomes, and they will make choices like adults. Speak to kids like they're slaves, and they will make rebellious choices like slaves. Don't speak to your kids at all about decisions, and they will make poor decisions and wonder why their lives are so difficult.

Re: Ask HN: How to keep my daughter busy while tickling her curiosity

#154

Post by hpcjoe »

oblib wrote: post #141

I became a single parent when my daughter turned 1 year old. When she got old enough we'd go fishing, bicycling, swimming, and hiking a lot. We'd also go to a used book store twice a month (on pay day) so she could pick out a few books to read. She loved doing that. She had no interest at all in learning how to code or gaming but she loved helping in the garden and in the kitchen prepping and cooking meals. When she…

This should go on twitter as "Dudes posting their massive W's" :D

Mine is 22, about to start grad school for a Ph.D. in applied math (I'm Ph.D. in theoretical physics, but am a secret math nerd ... wife is also a math nerd and an M.S. Physics).

Early on we discovered how much she loved reading. So, we read to her, every night. For a while, I could quote whole sections of "The Sleep Book" (Dr. Seuss) from memory. As she grew older, she read. Voraciously. Throughout high school, she insisted she wanted to be an artist, which we completely supported. Said she hated math.

She liked some physical activity, though I could never convince her to work out with me or my wife at the gym.

Went through an IB program in high school. Told us at the end, after getting into a competitive art school, that she was happy she never had to take math, ever again. Fast forward a year, and she was aching to change majors.

She graduated with a double major (one being math), and a minor. Got into a bunch of grad schools for Ph.D.

Now, the girl who hated math at the end of high school, is about to move on to be a woman in a math Ph.D. program.

There's a point to this.

Your kid will find some things interesting, and others less so. Don't worry about that, and enjoy discovering what she likes with her. If you do the dad thing right, you will wind up with a kid who can adapt to new situations, and find joy in what they do.

My daughter still does (absolutely amazing) art on her own. Not just a dad saying this, she really is tremendously talented. And we encourage her to continue to pursue what she likes/loves.

Re: Ask HN: How to keep my daughter busy while tickling her curiosity

#155

Post by dgb23 »

nickysielicki wrote: post #146
oblib wrote: post #141

I became a single parent when my daughter turned 1 year old. When she got old enough we'd go fishing, bicycling, swimming, and hiking a lot. We'd also go to a used book store twice a month (on pay day) so she could pick out a few books to read. She loved doing that. She had no interest at all in learning how to code or gaming but she loved helping in the garden and in the kitchen prepping and cooking meals. When she…

We have such a weird culture around how we treat teenagers in this country. We all remember drinking and smoking as teens, but parents tends to rule with an iron fist and convince themselves that they have more control than their parents did, which means we force healthy normal curious kids to go out to a secluded area (probably by car) to get high or drunk or explore in other ways, away from an adult that could help…

One thing I’m very grateful for is that I never had to worry about going home as a kid. Never. Later I realized how much of a privilege that was.

Re: Ask HN: How to keep my daughter busy while tickling her curiosity

#156

Post by hpcjoe »

social_quotient wrote: post #65

Might be off topic but a nugget from having two girls (5 and 11). Kids don’t care about budget or how much things cost. We have toys we’ve spent hundreds of dollars on only to have the near free to free one be a hit. I say this to make sure you know your employment status likely only effects your kids if it effects you. Or said differently, to the extent it effects you it will effect them. Kids will generally have fu…

> Best of luck buddy and squeeze these years for as much as you can.

This ... so much ... Just be there. Discover together.

Re: Ask HN: How to keep my daughter busy while tickling her curiosity

#157

Post by kwatsonafter »

In training academic Pedagogist here: It may be worthwhile to take a two or day three reading of Rousseau's classic, "Emile; or On Education." It gives tremendous insight into how it is that adults can have positive relationships with the children that they might be governing.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Emile%2C_or_On_Education

Rousseau recommends: Night games, obstacle courses, Natural Method (Parkour), but in short the idea is to let the child be self-directing in their activities. In Rousseau's words, "to gain time by losing it." ie. don't try to direct their activities. Do what is necessary and dutiful in your own regard and teach through example and necessity; never through imposition unless absolutely necessary.

Re: Ask HN: How to keep my daughter busy while tickling her curiosity

#158

Post by kwatsonafter »

nickysielicki wrote: post #146
oblib wrote: post #141

I became a single parent when my daughter turned 1 year old. When she got old enough we'd go fishing, bicycling, swimming, and hiking a lot. We'd also go to a used book store twice a month (on pay day) so she could pick out a few books to read. She loved doing that. She had no interest at all in learning how to code or gaming but she loved helping in the garden and in the kitchen prepping and cooking meals. When she…

We have such a weird culture around how we treat teenagers in this country. We all remember drinking and smoking as teens, but parents tends to rule with an iron fist and convince themselves that they have more control than their parents did, which means we force healthy normal curious kids to go out to a secluded area (probably by car) to get high or drunk or explore in other ways, away from an adult that could help…

No post body was provided.

Re: Ask HN: How to keep my daughter busy while tickling her curiosity

#159

Post by svnt »

nickysielicki wrote: post #146
oblib wrote: post #141

I became a single parent when my daughter turned 1 year old. When she got old enough we'd go fishing, bicycling, swimming, and hiking a lot. We'd also go to a used book store twice a month (on pay day) so she could pick out a few books to read. She loved doing that. She had no interest at all in learning how to code or gaming but she loved helping in the garden and in the kitchen prepping and cooking meals. When she…

We have such a weird culture around how we treat teenagers in this country. We all remember drinking and smoking as teens, but parents tends to rule with an iron fist and convince themselves that they have more control than their parents did, which means we force healthy normal curious kids to go out to a secluded area (probably by car) to get high or drunk or explore in other ways, away from an adult that could help…

Like you imply I think being punitive may be viewed as healthy because the opposite stance (of encouraging or enabling, or even participating) is boundary-blurring. In this case the temporally removed hypocrisy is better than joining in, which is the other extreme.

Culturally we don’t have a lot of nuance in America yet.

Re: Ask HN: How to keep my daughter busy while tickling her curiosity

#160

Post by InfiniteRand »

11 years is a good age for projects, like building a toy city from cardboard boxes, writing a long story, building a puppet theatre etc. When I was 11, I half-started a lot of projects like that, but usually lost attention pretty quick. I think things would be different if my dad was working on it with me.

Or to take something I did actually do with my father and enjoyed, going for long walks together.

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