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How to fuck up an airport

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Re: How to fuck up an airport

#111

Post by vanviegen »

b112 wrote: post #89
arez wrote: post #80

Earlier quoted context omitted.

what? Tegel was the best airport ever, you could literally be there 20min before check-in and still get your plane. Nowadays I have to arrive 3-4hrs before, tegel was a blessing a true king of all airports, all hail tegel

Nowadays I have to arrive 3-4hrs before This is true many places, although I tend to show with a tighter timetable myself. But it's so absurd, so silly. It's actually faster to drive from Ottawa to Toronto(4 to 5 hr drive) than take a plane, and cheaper.. even with current fuel costs, too. What a way to ruin a mode of travel.

To me it's absurd that flying such a short distance apparently was an attractive option (to some) until recently.

Re: How to fuck up an airport

#112

Post by midnightclubbed »

noasaservice wrote: post #90

You really want to fuck up an airport? Do the following, in no particular order. 1. Spoof GPS, as in emulate the constellation. Randomize it every few minutes. Move transmitter around. 2. Plain old jam GPS. You can buy cheap and nasty GPS jammers. If you're good with electronics, hook em up to a 555 timer and trigger to prevent a lock but like 5% duty cycle. 3. Spoof ADS-B to create thousands or 10's of thousands of…

Activate the ILS landing system. Recalibrate sea level - minus 200 feet.

Re: How to fuck up an airport

#113

Post by CharlesW »

mattcaldwell wrote: post #67
qolop wrote: post #65

Why can't such interesting articles be published without the unnecessary profanity? It actually prevents me from sharing it with a lot of people.

The world is falling apart and people are still worried about harmless words. Talk about misplaced concerns...

> The world is falling apart and people are still worried about harmless words.

The parent mentioned that it prevents him from sharing, not that they were personally worried about it. I'm also perfectly comfortable using salty language with friends and family, but very rarely use it on social channels. It's all about context.

Re: How to fuck up an airport

#114

Post by inferiorhuman »

dzikimarian wrote: post #59
bobthepanda wrote: post #45

Earlier quoted context omitted.

The same architect who designed Tegel did BER. Sometimes, past performance is not indicative of the future.

Well Tegel with multiple security checks during transfers isn't pinnacle of good communication either.

The worst for security that I've ever experienced was Amsterdam Schiphol. Absolute chaos at land side security and Americans on American airlines get extra inspection. When I was there they did the extra screening at the gate, but they've gone back and forth a bunch on where that's supposed to happen.

Tegel OTOH was super quick albeit poorly connected to the rest of Berlin.

Re: How to fuck up an airport

#115

Post by biztos »

Arguably off topic, but having suffered through BER several times, I have a few tips to share which might reduce your own suffering.

First: post-security you will find some of the most disgusting food ever served in an airport, but hey it’s also expensive and the servers don’t hide how much they hate being there! However, there is a little shop near the left-side stairs that sells better alcohol as well as soft drinks, and various food including (last I checked) pretty decent sandwiches. Just get provisions there and have a seat near your gate.

Second: when the security lines are moving too slowly it’s often worth trying the faraway one, which is actually outside the main hall. It’s so insanely counterintuitive, it’s the last one to get backed up.

Third: on arrival you may want a train, and it’s not at all obvious what one goes where nor even which ticket you need. You can use a standard subway ticket with any train departing from the airport, and you can buy that ticket in advance with the BVG app. Oh, and the S-Bahn is probably not the train you want if you’re reading this comment. Just go to Hauptbahnhof and reorient from there, IMO.

Guten Flug!

Re: How to fuck up an airport

#116

Post by yc-kraln »

chrisseaton wrote: post #16
odiroot wrote: post #7

Best way: close the actual city airport that was functioning like a well-oiled machine and was loved by the city population. Even better, do it against their explicit wishes with a shady decision that reeks of corruption. Any follow-up to that will always end up being "fucked up".

> functioning like a well-oiled machine and was loved by the city population You can’t possibly mean Tegel? I’ve never met anyone who has used Tegel who didn’t think it was clearly the worst airport in the world. I used to literally avoid doing any business in Berlin because Tegel was so painful.

Hi, Tegel was my favorite airport ever, domestic and international.

Re: How to fuck up an airport

#117

Post by inferiorhuman »

pizza234 wrote: post #52
chrisseaton wrote: post #16

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> functioning like a well-oiled machine and was loved by the city population You can’t possibly mean Tegel? I’ve never met anyone who has used Tegel who didn’t think it was clearly the worst airport in the world. I used to literally avoid doing any business in Berlin because Tegel was so painful.

> You can’t possibly mean Tegel? I’ve never met anyone who has used Tegel who didn’t think it was clearly the worst airport in the world. I've frequently used TXL and it was actually my favorite. However, I can see why at least some people hated it. While A-gates boardings were very fast (for which reason, I personally used to find it very convenient), they were also very crammed, which surely bothered a lot of peopl…

I liked Tegel as well, but it's too small for a busy capital. It's nice that Heathrow has the tube right at the one terminal but there's still way too much walking involved. The worst, IMO, by far was Madrid. It took me about 40 minutes of walking to get from the metro to the gate.

Re: How to fuck up an airport

#118

Post by bobthepanda »

probably_wrong wrote: post #86
bobthepanda wrote: post #45

Earlier quoted context omitted.

The same architect who designed Tegel did BER. Sometimes, past performance is not indicative of the future.

If you listen to the podcast they explain that it wasn't his fault. Spoilers: he designed BER for fast passenger transit, just like Tegel, but the airport authorities wanted more shopping space. So they crammed as many shops as they could in detriment of the passenger experience. And then there's the situation with the rise of low-cost airlines who weren't allowed to use the jetway... I definitely recommend listening…

This glosses over some stuff that is definitely his fault.

The first issue that caused the issues, the fire system, was designed to suck air underground, because the architect did not want a fire system to obstruct his roof, never mind that smoke and hot air naturally rise. https://www.thegermanreview.de/p/the-real-story-behind-berli...

Re: How to fuck up an airport

#119

Post by bobthepanda »

vanviegen wrote: post #111
b112 wrote: post #89

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Nowadays I have to arrive 3-4hrs before This is true many places, although I tend to show with a tighter timetable myself. But it's so absurd, so silly. It's actually faster to drive from Ottawa to Toronto(4 to 5 hr drive) than take a plane, and cheaper.. even with current fuel costs, too. What a way to ruin a mode of travel.

To me it's absurd that flying such a short distance apparently was an attractive option (to some) until recently.

Usually, most small flights of that type are connections onward. It's usually good for passengers because all other things being equal the security procedures at smaller airports, the traffic etc. is a lot less bad.

Re: How to fuck up an airport

#120

Post by morelisp »

durnygbur wrote: post #17
odiroot wrote: post #7

Best way: close the actual city airport that was functioning like a well-oiled machine and was loved by the city population. Even better, do it against their explicit wishes with a shady decision that reeks of corruption. Any follow-up to that will always end up being "fucked up".

> close the actual city airport that was functioning like a well-oiled You mean which Berlin's airport? As Berlin-native for few years I used the Schönefeld numerous times... and the staff there was some mixture of rude primitive sadists. Behaving towards passengers as if they're taking revenge for something. I just want to fly out of here, you cunt.

It’s just Berliner Schnauze, don’t take it personally.
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