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Sex is going out of fashion?

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Re: Sex is going out of fashion?

#591

Post by guerrilla »

_yb2s wrote: post #527
lesstyzing wrote: post #205

There are so many incel type comments in this thread and anytime this subject comes up. Online dating definitely isn’t fun but it’s not the shit show people here seem to make out. All of my friends met their long terms partners on dating apps. None of these men are particularly attractive. All are average looking at best. Personally I went from never dating to going on dates with a handful of people over a 6 month pe…

I will second this. I am a late-30s recently divorced man, that got back on the dating 'market' about a year and a half ago after nearly two decades into a frustrating sexless marriage. I have a history of shyness/social anxiety, am very nerdy, balding, and struggle with weight issues- I am probably average or below average realistically. Yet I had a great time on Tinder- I was able to have sex with different women s…

I know we're not supposed to make this kind of comment but I have to say your username matches your comment quite well.

The sad truth though is that a lot of quite normal men will never be able to do most of that, and for those suffering from anxiety, autism or something like that (it seems like quite a few here), they're quite disadvantaged if not fucked.

Re: Sex is going out of fashion?

#592

Post by mcv »

lotsofpulp wrote: post #191
mcv wrote: post #140

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Aren't we talking about people in their 20s? You seem to be describing teenagers. For people in their 20s, it's always been quite normal to have a job, a home, and, at some point during their 20s, to get married.

I think that was a phenomenon relatively unique to US/Canada in post WW2 decades up until maybe the 90s.

I strongly doubt that. It was quite common in western Europe too. My parents got married in 1970 and did briefly live with my grandparents (who had a gigantic house that was still dirt cheap when they got married directly after WW2), but moved out soon after that.

As far as I know, people moved out either when they married, or when they went to a university in a different city. Around 1990 I knew one guy who had a job and still lived with his parents, and I thought that was odd (he spent all his money on fancy audiophile equipment).

Re: Sex is going out of fashion?

#593

Post by guerrilla »

jimmyjazz14 wrote: post #515
onepointsixC wrote: post #174

Earlier quoted context omitted.

The world has never been more prosperous, safer, and more able to address the issues of its day, ever. Wars have been a near constant factor of human history for nearly all written history, and yet today we enjoy more peace as a species than any other era. In the past few decades we've seen extreme poverty decline dramatically. And we've never had so many viable options for decarbonization. When your parents had you,…

Its interesting that one of the most guaranteed ways to get down-voted online is to say the world isn't as bad as it seems, I would really like to understand the psychology behind that.

I think it depends on how you say it. Some people here are just gaslighting, while others are being insightful.

Re: Sex is going out of fashion?

#594

Post by sleepdreamy »

mcv wrote: post #586
sleepdreamy wrote: post #367

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Normal off what metric? Your metric? I am 29 and was finally able to purchase my first home. I am one of if not the only person in my large friend group to purchase a home without assistance from parents If you think people in their 20s are buying homes and starting families en-masse well I've got bad news for you

But that is now. I'm talking about how it used to be. Look at the GP. Here's what I'm responding to: > People in their 20s having their own digs is, I think, a decidedly American phenomenon. In most of the poorer parts of the world (including, for example, Central and Eastern Europe), 30+ years ago younger crowd managed to have sex just fine, using dorm rooms, snatching time while parents were away, etc. I think them…

Apologies - you're absolutely correct. I think it was standard practice prior to everything going down-hill. The only reason I even have this ability is through my career. I think most people are not so fortunate and are fed up so the cycle of not trying starts to kick in.

Re: Sex is going out of fashion?

#595

Post by mcv »

EUROCARE wrote: post #237
mcv wrote: post #140

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Aren't we talking about people in their 20s? You seem to be describing teenagers. For people in their 20s, it's always been quite normal to have a job, a home, and, at some point during their 20s, to get married.

There was socialism in CEE back then. So nobody and much less people in their 20s could afford their own home. After my parents got married, they lived in a 3-room apartment (+ kitchen, 65m2 in total) together with both parents of my mother, her grandmother, and her sister (who had a child) also sometimes showed up.

By CEE do you mean the European Economic Community? Or are you referring to eastern European communism? I don't know how the situation was there, but in western Europe, people could absolutely afford to at least rent in their 20s. My grandparents, who weren't rich at all (my granddad was a nurse) could afford a very large house, and my parents could afford to buy a fairly large house when they were 34. And I know that in Germany (central Europe), houses tend to be cheaper (at least today; not sure if it was the same back then).

Re: Sex is going out of fashion?

#596

Post by guerrilla »

_fat_santa wrote: post #441
michaelbrooks wrote: post #106

I'd say the explosion of mental health and anxiety is playing a huge part in it as well. My wife and I would have a child if we knew we were stable and able to look after them properly. Also, with the wars, global warming and everything else that's happening right now, why would you want to bring a child into this?

> Also, with the wars, global warming and everything else that's happening right now, My thinking is there will always be something. Our parents could have said the same thing about Vietnam and the Cold War. My litmus test is: "is this issue affecting you". Global warming and wars may make you anxious when reading the news, but does it _actually_ affect your life.

Global warming will eventually effect everyone, which is the point. It's already effecting many people and people they know... That's a weird one to pick considering how much it already effect people and will definitely effect people in the future. The war in Ukraine is also massively effecting us when it comes to energy prices and a large component of the remainder of the inflation (partly hard scarcity in many commodities and partly due to uncertainty.) This is the weirdest comment, like you're totally out of touch with what's going on somehow...

Re: Sex is going out of fashion?

#597

Post by guerrilla »

jacknews wrote: post #110

Market homogenization (because of the apps) leads to a larger scale of 'winner takes all' dynamics, ie increasing inequality. The top players in the market are probably getting way more offers than they can, um, service, and for anyone in the lower ranks, the effort/reward is uneconomic.

> Market homogenization (because of the apps) leads to a larger scale of 'winner takes all' dynamics, ie increasing inequality.

Not sure if you know this but almost all the apps you've ever heard of are owned by precisely one company: the Match Group.

Re: Sex is going out of fashion?

#598

Post by Kye »

guerrilla wrote: post #570
Kye wrote: post #442

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I can't imagine being bombarded with messages from horny and desperate men is a great time.

You seriously can't imagine being bombarded with messages from horny and desperate women is a great time? That having hundreds if not thousands to choose from is a grea time?

That sounds dreadful.

Re: Sex is going out of fashion?

#599

Post by guerrilla »

jbrun wrote: post #21

Population implosion is going to be the biggest problem of our lives. It is one of those issues that creeps up progressively (like Global Warming), but will have cataclysmic impacts. Sex is a precursor to relationships and kids, if people don't have sex... Imagine 80% of the population is elderly and retired (or want to be retired) - that is where the world is heading by the end of the century. From 2018: https://www…

Hardly, just make migration free like it is for capital, goods and services.

Re: Sex is going out of fashion?

#600

Post by ryandrake »

verall wrote: post #352
krrrh wrote: post #158

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> You are exposed to people that you'd NEVER meet in the more traditional sense. I’ve never used a dating app, but I’m curious about this. My assumption has been that people filter pretty heavily on politics and religion, which are less advertised in person. Meeting people at a party or through social activities seemed to moderate people’s views long term because an initial attraction could lead to encounters with re…

I'm not sure what your age/location is, but as a young American, young people filter for politics and religion in person just as fast as they do on a dating app. It is considered that compatible political and religious views are table stakes for a serious (non-hookup) relationship. For example, in my extended friend-aquaintance group, there's not a single young woman who would consider dating a conservative. Obviousl…

> For example, in my extended friend-aquaintance group, there's not a single young woman who would consider dating a conservative. Obviously conservative women exist, I have seen many on dating apps, the point is that the natural social circles have already formed strong bubbles such that hanging out let alone dating outside the tribe is unheard of.

This is also a recent "feature", at least in the USA. My older extended family (parents, aunts, uncles) have political views all over the map, including between married couples, and it's no big deal. Back when they all got together, people weren't so much wrapping their entire identities into their political views. It was more taboo for a Protestant to marry a Catholic than for a Democrat to marry a Republican. Today, it seems people have replaced their religion with their political party, to the point where they consider "the other side" to be totally off-limits for dating or even friendship.

I've got friends on both sides and it just seems so ridiculous to me, but I guess tribes gotta tribe.

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