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Sex is going out of fashion?

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Re: Sex is going out of fashion?

#421

Post by weatherlite »

wonderwonder wrote: post #395

Wonder if this is related to the lack of personal relationships in general, especially friendships. There is an epidemic of loneliness in the world. So many ways to communicate and all we can do is post memes and upvote influencers. I am happily married but have zero friends. I met my wife through my friend group in college. If I heaven forbid got a divorce tomorrow, not sure where I would meet someone new. Guess I w…

> I am happily married but have zero friends

Are you sure this is entirely the modern lifestyle's fault? When I look deeply into my past I realize I messed up high school and college a bit socially (for various reasons) and that's the time most people acquire their best friends. I have 1-2 good friends but I'm pretty sure it's on me its not more than that.

Perhaps you went through something similar?

The real annoying thing is making friends after mid 30s is very difficult. I am very choosy about who I want to meet because I'm a parent and my time is valuable and I put up with less bullshit than when I was young. Alas, all "older" folk are like me - so we barely try to create friendships.

Re: Sex is going out of fashion?

#422

Post by wccrawford »

bena wrote: post #303
lesstyzing wrote: post #205

There are so many incel type comments in this thread and anytime this subject comes up. Online dating definitely isn’t fun but it’s not the shit show people here seem to make out. All of my friends met their long terms partners on dating apps. None of these men are particularly attractive. All are average looking at best. Personally I went from never dating to going on dates with a handful of people over a 6 month pe…

There's also some very weird survivorship bias going on. Everyone you meet is the child of people who have sex. Even if they had the child via in vitro or adopted or whatever. Your parents fuck. So your parents fuck. Your friends' parents fuck. That asshole who bullies you in high school. Their parents fuck. It really does seem like everyone is fucking all the time. You live in a neighborhood where most people will a…

Not having kids doesn't mean they aren't having sex. It isn't only a "very specific subset" of any circle.

Re: Sex is going out of fashion?

#423

Post by 3qz »

criddell wrote: post #14

Articles like this are often mostly focused on the male side of cisgendered male-female relationships. Have things not changed for women? Or how about among other types of people? Is gay sex going out of fashion too?

> Is gay sex going out of fashion too?

No. Many men are turning to gay sex because they can’t get any women. Lots of guys are “bi” but it’s like 10% gay 90% straight attraction. Getting a guy is 100x easier than a woman so even though they’re mostly straight, they become gay in practice. I expect that 50% of all sex will be between men within the next few decades.

Re: Sex is going out of fashion?

#424

Post by treis »

belorn wrote: post #347
CodeSgt wrote: post #101

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I think that all the things you listed are definitely culprits, but I wouldn't be so quick to discount porn. Anecdotally, I myself and many otherwise healthy, sociable young men I know have pretty serious porn addictions. I really wish there would be more research done on the negative impacts of pornography, especially on young men and teens/pre-teens. I know typically any anti-porn sentiment is met with "Oh you're j…

You list men as the reason why people have less sex, but unless women is having a lot of more sex with other women to compensate the numbers, it is both women and men that is having less sex and it could be either gender or both that is causing the trend. It is jumping to conclusions to assume that only men determine if the world population is going to have sex or not. Personally I would blame social media much more…

>You list men as the reason why people have less sex, but unless women is having a lot of more sex with other women to compensate the numbers,

Fewer men are sleeping with more women.

Re: Sex is going out of fashion?

#425

Post by [deleted] »

cholantesh wrote: post #405
huijzer wrote: post #270

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> Get of these apps. I think many men who use apps, do so because they are too afraid to approach a woman they find attractive if the situation is appropriate. Yes. I couldn't agree more. Spent 2-3 frustrating years on Tinder without much success. At the start of the pandemic, I was done with being alone in my apartment and decided to try to approach women on the street. My takeaways: 1. Heart rate goes over 130 (acc…

>go out and talk to people This thesis is sound. >Get inspiration/courage from watching lots and lots of YouTube videos from people who do nice approaches. I personally liked ThatWasEpic a lot. See for example https://youtu.be/cj9tvIFcUeU . This is just weird, though.

[deleted]

Re: Sex is going out of fashion?

#427

Post by moomoo11 »

Maybe it’s because all these dating apps emphasize short term or hookup relationships. Aka little to zero substance outcomes that will keep you coming back (and hopefully paying!).

A lot of people want to have actual relationships, but those types of people are rare on dating sites. IMO you meet those people by going out and doing activities. If you happen to meet someone there chances are it will go better than being number x match on the list of 30 matches this week.

I’m just speaking as a man and as a engineer who worked on a dating app. It is a numbers game and one that most men will not place anywhere close to the top.

And from my anecdotal experience talking to women who worked on the app as well as just friends, they seem to view these apps as entertainment more than anything serious.

Just find a irl hobby and join groups that do those things. It will be slower but if your goal is a meaningful relationship then that’s your best shot imo.

Re: Sex is going out of fashion?

#428

Post by GrAfFiX2 »

I think the wide spread use of opioids has some to do with it too.(Mouse Utopia) Definitely kills your sex drive.. Low testosterone kills it. Getting old.. Partner not keeping up their physique.. Chronic pain.. Lots to do with it.. I still find the same attributes attractive as I did when I was 18, now being over 40/married/chronic pain/long term opioid use... it has degraded the pool of possibilities and who I would want to with also.. I've got kids.. Grandkids.. I've done my part for my genetic lineage. It's will continue on for generations to come. That's all it was meant to do anyways.. Now I'm just waiting to die. Trying not to suffer too much in the interim.

Re: Sex is going out of fashion?

#429

Post by kingkawn »

germinalphrase wrote: post #346
kingkawn wrote: post #314

Earlier quoted context omitted.

That a discussion of diminishing sexuality led to a discussion of podcasts tells us everything we need to know.

There are - of course - plenty of podcasts about sex, sexuality, sex therapy topics…

Talking it ain't doing it. That you think that those topics bridge that gap is also indicative of why people aren't fucking.

Re: Sex is going out of fashion?

#430

Post by andi999 »

weatherlite wrote: post #421
wonderwonder wrote: post #395

Wonder if this is related to the lack of personal relationships in general, especially friendships. There is an epidemic of loneliness in the world. So many ways to communicate and all we can do is post memes and upvote influencers. I am happily married but have zero friends. I met my wife through my friend group in college. If I heaven forbid got a divorce tomorrow, not sure where I would meet someone new. Guess I w…

> I am happily married but have zero friends Are you sure this is entirely the modern lifestyle's fault? When I look deeply into my past I realize I messed up high school and college a bit socially (for various reasons) and that's the time most people acquire their best friends. I have 1-2 good friends but I'm pretty sure it's on me its not more than that. Perhaps you went through something similar? The real annoying…

Modern lifestyle includes moving to different cities.
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