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Sex is going out of fashion?

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Re: Sex is going out of fashion?

#341
post #27

The comments in this thread and this article is making me want to read HN less. (What a crazy incorrect take for most of the population.)

I don't know why but there seems to be some outsized group of people that thrives on reducing social interactions to numbers. I remember seeing a lot of this in self-destructive subreddits (eg MGTOW). Maybe it's so they can write off self-improvement (you can't argue with math!)?

While I agree MGTOW is cringe, dating is initially a numbers game. I have way more matches in a densely populated area such as SF Bay area. Timing and luck play in to it as well, multiple people in my social circle would have dated me if they weren't LTR'd prior.

Re: Sex is going out of fashion?

#342

The real culprit isn’t porn, it is mainly the change in societal expectations and the ease of changing your baseline expectations. Our relationships have become extremely disposable. You are one Instagram DM away from moving onto the next one. Dating websites and apps largely have the same problems.

IMO this is a different issue. If you change your partner say every week it doesnt mean that you have less sex. Also in my (limited) experience the "swinger" type people who constantly cheat (=more sex) or just have one night relationships (=more sex) are a small subset of the population.

Re: Sex is going out of fashion?

#345
post #25

I don't think tech or porn is the main culprit. It's that people now have way more entertainment options other than sex. Of course, a lot for those entertainment options are being driven by tech. Back in my dad's days, they were poor so the only entertainment options in their free time was drinking cheap home made alcohol, dancing and sex, while now we have gaming, Netflix, tic-tok, porn, traveling to the infinite In…

Entertainment has entered a tyranny of choice. I see it personally. I can watch nearly every show and movie that was ever created but I still flip through Netflix and RT endlessly, often times choosing not to watch anything. When I was younger I would just watch Seinfeld re-runs, with commercials and all. Am I more "entertained" today than I was when I was growing up? I'm not convinced. The weirdest thing is I don't…

> I don't remember what I used to talk to my friends about when I was in high school.

Gossip, mostly. Talking about your peers, who said what, how terrible teachers are for making us actually do work, commenting on style or the lack thereof, etc. Also, while there were fewer TV series, they still existed. Star Trek, B5, Knight Rider, Airwolf, etc.

Re: Sex is going out of fashion?

#346

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Podcasts changed the game for me on this. Now there are entire days where I never turn the TV on. A bonus is that I can get basic chores done while listening or workout. It really freed me from the couch potato routine. A bonus is that many of them are educational and released weekly, so "binge" isn't really an option. There are certainly "junk food" podcasts that I listen to but the ratio of informative to junk comp…

That a discussion of diminishing sexuality led to a discussion of podcasts tells us everything we need to know.

There are - of course - plenty of podcasts about sex, sexuality, sex therapy topics…

Re: Sex is going out of fashion?

#347

I don't think tech or porn is the main culprit. It's that people now have way more entertainment options other than sex. Of course, a lot for those entertainment options are being driven by tech. Back in my dad's days, they were poor so the only entertainment options in their free time was drinking cheap home made alcohol, dancing and sex, while now we have gaming, Netflix, tic-tok, porn, traveling to the infinite In…

I think that all the things you listed are definitely culprits, but I wouldn't be so quick to discount porn. Anecdotally, I myself and many otherwise healthy, sociable young men I know have pretty serious porn addictions. I really wish there would be more research done on the negative impacts of pornography, especially on young men and teens/pre-teens. I know typically any anti-porn sentiment is met with "Oh you're j…

You list men as the reason why people have less sex, but unless women is having a lot of more sex with other women to compensate the numbers, it is both women and men that is having less sex and it could be either gender or both that is causing the trend. It is jumping to conclusions to assume that only men determine if the world population is going to have sex or not.

Personally I would blame social media much more than porn, especially on young women and teens/pre-teens. Porn addictions, if such things exists (WHO is currently undecided on that fact), seems a minor issue compared to addictions caused by social media. Remove access to internet for a large group of teens and lets observe which kind of withdraws will firsts pop up.

Re: Sex is going out of fashion?

#348

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I am yet to read a convincing study about these supposed detrimental effects of porn. All these texts start from the assumption that it is bad without anything like a root cause analysis. For example, yes, single people tend to watch more porn. But are they single because they watch porn (demonstrating that porn is a social inhibitor)? Or do they watch more porn because they are single (in which case porn is just a w…

> anecdotes are not data. Actually anecdotes are data and they're one manner in which we find, for example, unexpected side effects of treatments https://vaers.hhs.gov/ . I say this not to specifically boost Gary's claims, but to encourage us to not wholesale discount anecdotes. They're too often clues to the right path to be ignored. I found the book to be pretty clear in it's wording saying essentially (to paraphra…

> I say this not to specifically boost Gary's claims, but to encourage us to not wholesale discount anecdotes. They're too often clues to the right path to be ignored.

Right, but there are plenty of plainly stupid ones (“my kid is autistic and, surprise, surprise, had a vaccine weeks before being diagnosed”), and there are plenty of conflicting ones (like on the current subject, but also on things like CBD, though the picture is getting clearer on that front).

They are also unverifiable most of the time, and are commonly just made up.

The only way of knowing whether the anecdotes are significant is to verify them and do some statistical analysis, at which point they are data that we can analyse quantitatively or qualitatively, and not anecdotes anymore.

“Trust my anecdotes” is an argument one makes when reality is inconsistent with one’s position.

> I found the book to be pretty clear in it's wording saying essentially (to paraphrase) If you're not having any problems, then you don'd need a cure.

Which does sound reasonable. But that was not the OP’s message, which was based on the same book. There is no reason to assume that stoping watching porn will help with anything. It’s like homeopathy: sure, trying costs nothing, but it’s still stupid and can occasionally backfire.

Again, watching porn also never killed anyone, costs nothing and has no risk. So why not simply say “do whatever you want to do” and consider those anti-porn arguments for what they are: pseudo-science?

Re: Sex is going out of fashion?

#350

Housing and material wealth keeps coming up but we’ve survived and thrived after a good chunk of Europe was razed, critical infrastructure missing and entire countries needing to be rebuilt. Peoples wants and needs weren’t that different from ours, we just have more of them, but we desire them as much as any period of time before us. We don’t, unfortunately, have many first hand accounts of how people survived during…

in a Tom Hanks movie!?
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