Ignoring the content, the writing style was extremely annoying.
Anyone else with similar feelings?
Sex is going out of fashion?
331–340 of 692 posts
Re: Sex is going out of fashion?
#332Earlier quoted context omitted.
"It's also boring" "These threads are always fun, because they often say more about us commenters than the subject matter." I will not quote anything else from you and leave it at that.
I stand by it. If you do find sex to be the most fulfilling part of your life, it might be worth asking where that sense of fulfillment comes from. It's probably a "who", not a "what".
> If you do find sex to be the most fulfilling part of your life
Is this the necessary projection for someone who values sex?
Re: Sex is going out of fashion?
#333"Ctrl-F Marriage" gives no results. Surely decrease in marriages is the biggest driver. It's a lot easier to have sex with someone if you live with them. A straight person isn't going to find multiple new partners to sleep with per week and even if you have a boyfriend/girlfriend, unless you are cohabitating you probably only see them a few days per week.
This would conflict with the stereotype that marriage == little sex, after the first few years?
Re: Sex is going out of fashion?
#334Despite all others blaming it on entertainment, porn, alcohol, working etc, I blame online dating. The bar and amount of work needed to get into relationship (I'm not into casual sex) is just too high for great amount of people.
If anything it's been more facilitated than ever.
Re: Sex is going out of fashion?
#335Earlier quoted context omitted.
I see this explanation of the grind of online dating a lot, and I think it misses a more fundamental point: people fundamentally are pretty terrible at talking to strangers. Without conversational skills, a vast majority of online dating conversations simply fizzle out; often times simply due to disinterest, but I think almost always due to a lack of ability to hold a conversation and be both interesting and interest…
If it were just a matter of people being terrible at talking to strangers, you'd see the same issues that affect straight dating apps affect gay dating ones. They don't. (That also applies to the comment you're replying to). Any explanation of the shittiness of straight dating apps has to center gender norms and roles.
I won't claim to speak for an entire community, but among my many queer friends this seems to be a common thru line! Of course like anything social there's never one clear explanation to any phenomenon.
Re: Sex is going out of fashion?
#336Earlier quoted context omitted.
Not only entertainment suffers from a tyranny of choice, but also sex and relationships. I heard in an interview that 50 years ago, people used to basically used to fall in love with heir neighbours and coworkers. Modern dating means browsing hundreds of other people in your city like they're products on a store shelf, always with the feeling there might be someone better just a couple swipes away.
I see this explanation of the grind of online dating a lot, and I think it misses a more fundamental point: people fundamentally are pretty terrible at talking to strangers. Without conversational skills, a vast majority of online dating conversations simply fizzle out; often times simply due to disinterest, but I think almost always due to a lack of ability to hold a conversation and be both interesting and interest…
I’m good at conversation and getting to know people and I had no success with online dating (as opposed to acceptable success with serendipitous dating). I always thought it was because it’s hard to integrate them into your life. They’ve come from out of nowhere, your friend circles don’t overlap, and your daily paths don’t cross. It’s extra effort to make that stuff happen after the fact, and even then it doesn’t feel real somehow. I suppose it depends on certain aspects of your personality, and what makes you feel close to people.
For every relationship I ever had, I had the opportunity to observe them, get to know them in person, maybe flirt, sometimes be friends. Sometimes for weeks. Sometimes for years, without any express intent. With online dating you’re both saying upfront that you’re evaluating each other as dating material, knowing only the fluff they wrote about themselves, or I take it with this generation only what they look like. All that will probably always feel too weird for me.
Re: Sex is going out of fashion?
#337The comments in this thread and this article is making me want to read HN less. (What a crazy incorrect take for most of the population.)
The thing is, you may dislike the takes but they are in response to a real problem normies don't think about or would have any advice to give. The solutions may be seen as bad or the takes as not good, but the problem still is very real, and for many people bad solutions are better than no solutions or the advice people give that doesn't work at all. Things like this should alert you to the fact something is wrong, n…
I totally acknowledge and sympathize with people (nerds) who strugge with finding love and sex. I don't recoil, I was a similar situation as a teenager. My point is mostly that it's far from a global population wide phenomenon. Plenty of people are having sex - it's alive and well - and it's not really going out of fashion would be my clarified expanded argument.
Re: Sex is going out of fashion?
#338Market homogenization (because of the apps) leads to a larger scale of 'winner takes all' dynamics, ie increasing inequality. The top players in the market are probably getting way more offers than they can, um, service, and for anyone in the lower ranks, the effort/reward is uneconomic.
This does happen, but mostly for men. The most successful men are seeing a different girl 5 nights a week. Typically women will tend to try a few men out, then stick with a favorite or two. Men at the bottom get absolutely nothing, while women at the bottom mostly end up going on bad dates or getting used for sex.
Why do you think they are getting used for sex? If they have sex on the first date it is free will or bad judgement... players will not go on 5 dates withgirl just to have sex if they can have it easier. Woman either want sex and then they are both using each other, which is fine. Or they need to update their filter. And yes, sometimes bad shit happens, when guy dumps you after couple dates and sex. But the same happens to guys.
Re: Sex is going out of fashion?
#339The comments in this thread and this article is making me want to read HN less. (What a crazy incorrect take for most of the population.)
My feminine instincts should have kept me out of here.
Turns out that despite all my achievements and failures, despite all my joys and pains, despite all my loves and losses, despite everything in my mind and body that makes me 'me', I've ever only truly been motivated by the desire to find a strong provider and reproduce before my eggs expire.
"Oh, but not you, you're different" - hears every women in a male-dominated field at some point or another. Nope, I'm not. No different brain-chemicals, no differently testosterone. Not in denial of my gender identity nor my sexuality. Just a plain old human slob like the rest of you.
Re: Sex is going out of fashion?
#340Earlier quoted context omitted.
Entertainment has entered a tyranny of choice. I see it personally. I can watch nearly every show and movie that was ever created but I still flip through Netflix and RT endlessly, often times choosing not to watch anything. When I was younger I would just watch Seinfeld re-runs, with commercials and all. Am I more "entertained" today than I was when I was growing up? I'm not convinced. The weirdest thing is I don't…
Podcasts changed the game for me on this. Now there are entire days where I never turn the TV on. A bonus is that I can get basic chores done while listening or workout. It really freed me from the couch potato routine. A bonus is that many of them are educational and released weekly, so "binge" isn't really an option. There are certainly "junk food" podcasts that I listen to but the ratio of informative to junk comp…
does your app let you export subscriptions? i’d love to plop an opml into overcast