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Sex is going out of fashion?

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Re: Sex is going out of fashion?

#231

Post by dayvid »

orangepurple wrote: post #75

95% of Tinder swipes by women are passes compared to 47% for men. Women tend to date up. Online dating apps are rigged for men. These apps are search engines optimized to match women with the top 5% of men. These apps are designed for women. Being average or even above average will almost never result in a date. Tinder was designed like a slot machine which will ruin your self-esteem from constant rejection but your…

I liked OkCupid a lot more than Tinder. You could write more about yourself and personality played more of a role in matching. I had an ex out of OkCupid. Tinder on the other hand values looks over everything and Bumble feels like LinkedIn dating. A pessimistic part of me feels like people are optimizing their personalities and lives to be Tinder or Bumble successful. Focusing on cool photos, looks and having a nice job title over having a personality or unique values.

Re: Sex is going out of fashion?

#232

Post by arvinsim »

wnolens wrote: post #219
orangepurple wrote: post #75

95% of Tinder swipes by women are passes compared to 47% for men. Women tend to date up. Online dating apps are rigged for men. These apps are search engines optimized to match women with the top 5% of men. These apps are designed for women. Being average or even above average will almost never result in a date. Tinder was designed like a slot machine which will ruin your self-esteem from constant rejection but your…

Well not completely wrong, this is a very pessimistic take. > You will have a much higher success rate as an average guy simply with a completely cold approach This is where I think you're wrong. First, I'm probably never going to cold approach in public and neither are most men I know. It's not a matter of "growing a pair", it would require a personality change or being disingenuous. Second, cold approach is a terri…

> Before apps I was at 1-2/year. Now 1-2/week is possible, though time and energy keeps me at 1-3/month.

You may not realize it but you are already in the top percentages of men.

Re: Sex is going out of fashion?

#233

Post by webinvest »

orangepurple wrote: post #75

95% of Tinder swipes by women are passes compared to 47% for men. Women tend to date up. Online dating apps are rigged for men. These apps are search engines optimized to match women with the top 5% of men. These apps are designed for women. Being average or even above average will almost never result in a date. Tinder was designed like a slot machine which will ruin your self-esteem from constant rejection but your…

I wonder what number of suicides each year can be attributed to disenfranchisement on dating apps. They can rob an above average man of his self esteem, self worth, and self value from past accomplishments and cause depression.

Re: Sex is going out of fashion?

#234

Post by Balgair »

sokoloff wrote: post #99
causi wrote: post #46

The obesity epidemic is also a significant contributing factor. Fat reduces testosterone levels, endurance levels, makes it harder to maintain an erection, and directly steals length off the base of the penis. Combine fat men with fat women and a lot of positions are effectively untenable due to length, flexibility, and obstruction issues. Fat sex is just worth way less effort than fit sex. I know this first-hand.

I am also less physically attractive if I’m 25# heavier than I should be. This goes to an even greater extent once that surplus tips towards 50#.

Aside: Woah, using the # (pound) symbol for lbs., why did I never think of that before? Thanks for blowing my mind a bit there sokoloff

Re: Sex is going out of fashion?

#235

Post by BlargMcLarg »

webinvest wrote: post #233
orangepurple wrote: post #75

95% of Tinder swipes by women are passes compared to 47% for men. Women tend to date up. Online dating apps are rigged for men. These apps are search engines optimized to match women with the top 5% of men. These apps are designed for women. Being average or even above average will almost never result in a date. Tinder was designed like a slot machine which will ruin your self-esteem from constant rejection but your…

I wonder what number of suicides each year can be attributed to disenfranchisement on dating apps. They can rob an above average man of his self esteem, self worth, and self value from past accomplishments and cause depression.

Suicide maybe not so much, but "dropping out of society" definitely. No partner, no kids, there goes most of the reason for people to work hard.

Re: Sex is going out of fashion?

#236

Post by orangepurple »

webinvest wrote: post #233
orangepurple wrote: post #75

95% of Tinder swipes by women are passes compared to 47% for men. Women tend to date up. Online dating apps are rigged for men. These apps are search engines optimized to match women with the top 5% of men. These apps are designed for women. Being average or even above average will almost never result in a date. Tinder was designed like a slot machine which will ruin your self-esteem from constant rejection but your…

I wonder what number of suicides each year can be attributed to disenfranchisement on dating apps. They can rob an above average man of his self esteem, self worth, and self value from past accomplishments and cause depression.

75.8% of Android Tinder app users are male and 24.2% are female. (Tankovska, 2021) By 2023, the number of dating app users in the US is forecast to reach 25.7 million. (Tankovska, 2021; Kats, 2020)

Just imagine the scale of the psychopathology if 17 million of these men are essentially living in a casino in just one country.

Re: Sex is going out of fashion?

#237

Post by EUROCARE »

mcv wrote: post #140
ptero wrote: post #38

Earlier quoted context omitted.

People in their 20s having their own digs is, I think, a decidedly American phenomenon. In most of the poorer parts of the world (including, for example, Central and Eastern Europe), 30+ years ago younger crowd managed to have sex just fine, using dorm rooms, snatching time while parents were away, etc. My 2c.

Aren't we talking about people in their 20s? You seem to be describing teenagers. For people in their 20s, it's always been quite normal to have a job, a home, and, at some point during their 20s, to get married.

There was socialism in CEE back then. So nobody and much less people in their 20s could afford their own home. After my parents got married, they lived in a 3-room apartment (+ kitchen, 65m2 in total) together with both parents of my mother, her grandmother, and her sister (who had a child) also sometimes showed up.

Re: Sex is going out of fashion?

#238

Post by rsynnott »

I don't think the data they have is really as compelling as they think. It's self-reported from the National Opinion Research Center mostly. The trouble with self-reporting on things like sex is that (a) people lie about sex a lot and (b) social attitudes determine in what way people lie about sex.

If you watch a sitcom from the 90s or early noughties, the idea that someone mightn't have had sex for _a few months_ is a funny, funny joke, as opposed to, well, just normal variation. I think the idea that not having sex all the time is a problem is a significantly smaller part of the culture these days, and thus people will feel the need to exaggerate less.

Re: Sex is going out of fashion?

#239

Post by x86_64Ubuntu »

saimiam wrote: post #228
figglestar wrote: post #181

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Young people in general are having less sex but young men are having a noteworthy amount less than young women. And the delta between the two groups is a new thing within the last 10 years or so.

So who are these (presumably primarily straight) young women having sex with?

The same subset of men.

Re: Sex is going out of fashion?

#240

Post by lakomen »

sph wrote: post #8
bigbacaloa wrote: post #4

Puritanism has returned.

Both that and online porn has ruined us. It is an major epidemic that is still under the radar for how massive it is, in my opinion. And it's sad, because sex is very fun and porn is a very poor approximation of the real thing.

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