Many single Japanese people in their 20s have never been on a date

Re: Many single Japanese people in their 20s have never been on a date – survey

#351

Post by otterley » Thu, Jun 16, 2022, 12:15 AM UTC

BlargMcLarg wrote: post #327

otterley wrote: post #319

Earlier quoted context omitted.

First of all, the Institute for Family Studies is not a credible, respected source of scientific information. They're a conservative think tank, funded by religious partisans, that cherry-picks their data in order to make persuasive political arguments. However, I'd be open to peer-reviewed papers from reputable social scientists not affiliated with a partisan entity. Second, it is never horrible advice to suggest to…

https://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/10.1111/j.1741-3737.2003... >"I find that premarital sex or premarital cohabitation that is limited to a woman's husband is not associated with an elevated risk of marital disruption. However, women who have more than one intimate premarital relationship have an increased risk of marital dissolution." https://doi.org/10.1177/0146167204271303 >"A truism in psychology is that the bes…

> most people do just fine with any partner which meets some set of minimal values, followed by growing together and overcoming obstacles

I can't help but wonder how many of these couples -- who decided to marry without having mutual care, validation, respect, and attraction to one another beforehand -- are actually happy (let alone content) and not cheating on or otherwise abusing one another.

Re: Many single Japanese people in their 20s have never been on a date – survey

#352

Post by otterley » Thu, Jun 16, 2022, 12:17 AM UTC

anon291 wrote: post #344

otterley wrote: post #323

Earlier quoted context omitted.

No it isn't, because the tight bonds that can be formed in subsequent marriages can be very real. The strength of an interpersonal romantic bond might have some correlation with the age or order in which you met them, but that doesn't mean you can't have even stronger bonds later in life with later partners.

Certainly, but the first marriage failed? SO the bond was loose

Sure, but that's a tautological statement. If I hadn't chosen to divorce, the bond would also still be loose, but as an outside observer, you wouldn't see that.

Re: Many single Japanese people in their 20s have never been on a date – survey

#353

Post by randomdata » Thu, Jun 16, 2022, 12:17 AM UTC

ryandrake wrote: post #348

randomdata wrote: post #339

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> Am I offbase in assuming you dont have kids? Yes. I do have children and in hindsight there would have been a lot of benefits having them much earlier in life. > Not only are you losing out on so much as a parent I lose out on so much now as a parent because I have adulting to do. When I was in high school what did I have to do with my time? Not much. Time that could have been put into the child. I also had way mor…

> I lose out on so much now as a parent because I have adulting to do. When I was in high school what did I have to do with my time? Not much. Interesting--I feel the exact opposite: You have much more free time as an adult than you do in high school (or college age). When I was As my (tiger-ish) parents would have put it: If you're bored in High School, you're not spending enough time studying.

> If you're bored in High School, you're not spending enough time studying.

Wouldn't you rather spend the time studying when you're older? I have found studying to be much more enjoyable, and useful, the older I get. Having a breadth of experience to relate it to improves things substantially.

It is not so much being unable to find things to spend time at, but often it being a waste. Like cramming for tests. Looking back, who cares? If they are feel-good activities for you, great. Don't discount what you love. But if you are someone who wanted children, I'm sure spending time with children would have been worthwhile too.

Re: Many single Japanese people in their 20s have never been on a date – survey

#354

Post by fomine3 » Thu, Jun 16, 2022, 12:27 AM UTC

willcipriano wrote: post #76

natly wrote: post #56

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Even elon strangely dismissed that obvious cause when it was pointed out under his pinned tweet https://twitter.com/BillyM2k/status/1529125347148455937 (elons explanation doesn't make any sense).

Ideology gets in the way of truth on this one. One side doesn't want to admit that a lot of poor people have a good bit of free time available to them, particularly those who receive social services. The other side doesn't want to admit that middle class and up folks have been working long hours at a cost to their personal lives and development, that isn't new, but now both mom and dad are doing it and households are…

> One side doesn't want to admit that a lot of poor people have a good bit of free time available to them, particularly those who receive social services.

I don't know for Japan. People work long even for lower salary.

Re: Many single Japanese people in their 20s have never been on a date – survey

#355

Post by api » Thu, Jun 16, 2022, 12:31 AM UTC

anon291 wrote: post #303

Overtonwindow wrote: post #299

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I met a 15 year old through an at-risk mentoring program years ago. He told me he got a $20 Visa gift card for his birthday, but he spent it all on a "cam girl." That shook me. Kids should not be viewing, making, paying for, or even really hear about pornography. Finding a playboy in the treehouse was one thing, but the internet has made it so easy for literally anyone, of any age, to view pornography. I think that h…

The sooner we realize as a society that behavior impacts outcomes, and seriously believe that it is the key driver. The sooner we will have an equitable society.

I don't think anyone would seriously argue that behavior doesn't impact outcome. It's easy to think of tons of extreme obvious examples to show that.

The hard part is deciding how behavior impacts outcomes, how much, which behaviors are good or bad or irrelevant, and why. If there were easy answers to those questions we'd be living in a utopia already.

Re: Many single Japanese people in their 20s have never been on a date – survey

#356

Post by fomine3 » Thu, Jun 16, 2022, 12:32 AM UTC

yakak wrote: post #218

I don't understand their spouse data being very different for males and females. Are there significantly fewer women in Japan, is there a significant difference in gay and lesbian marriage, is there polygamy? I think people are not reflecting the same relationship as their presumed partner would.

Older wealthier man marries and divorce then marries to young woman more than once. The reverse tend to not happen.

Re: Many single Japanese people in their 20s have never been on a date – survey

#357

Post by fomine3 » Thu, Jun 16, 2022, 12:36 AM UTC

alephnan wrote: post #35

Statistically, this is not surprising. In the West, especially a place like NYC, it is common to go on dozens of date with different people, to find the perfect partner. But first, just casual meeting and friends, getting to know each other. That culture is not common in Japan. Of course some HN poster will provide counter anecdata, but their datapoint is already selecting for a different demographic than the greater…

This is very true. Also animes/idols may contribute men not to be eager for dating real woman

Re: Many single Japanese people in their 20s have never been on a date – survey

#358

Post by fomine3 » Thu, Jun 16, 2022, 12:40 AM UTC

incomingpain wrote: post #200

This one isn't so much about Japan. Japan is just sensitive to the problem because their ongoing population decline and upcoming economic collapse far greater than anyone has ever seen. https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/living-single/201710... https://nationalpost.com/news/canada/the-u-s-fertility-rate-... >In 2010, another survey published The Japanese Association for Sex Education Research Journal found that…

Sexless after childbirth isn't a problem. AFAIK from statistics, birth rate by married women isn't fallen much. Falling marry rate is a big problem.

Re: Many single Japanese people in their 20s have never been on a date – survey

#359

Post by Hammershaft » Thu, Jun 16, 2022, 1:08 AM UTC

systemsignal wrote: post #279

warning26 wrote: post #231

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> Modern America, by and large, does not have the shared spaces and sense of community where these interactions could occur. Yet another unfortunate output of the US's completely broken focus on cars. Cars require intentionality -- there's no room for spontaneous interactions when you have to choose your destination and then spend 10min driving there.

America is focused on cars because it’s huge

Europe & Asia is huge, but that's irrelevant to the structure of cities & economic hubs. Cities in America are designed around cars to the detriment of community, shared prosperity, & fitness/health.

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=7Nw6qyyrTeI

Re: Many single Japanese people in their 20s have never been on a date – survey

#360

Post by doliveira » Thu, Jun 16, 2022, 1:11 AM UTC

zdragnar wrote: post #337

dfxm12 wrote: post #266

Earlier quoted context omitted.

If you were on SNAP, you might have had some understanding around how much of a hassle it is. The list of things you can't buy is mystifying. $100 in raw chicken vs $80 to go towards hot meals, Advil and dog food might be a valid trade off when you have to watch over a kid who runs around a lot.

And if he had asked me to buy specific things for him, I might have actually done so. My grandfather (a poor farmer) regularly told a story about how a man asked him for money, and he turned the man down but bought him lunch instead. Just handing a man $80 in cash and taking his food stamps means potentially enabling behaviors- alcoholism, drug abuse, etc.- that I don't want to enable. Maybe he just though that less…

Putting in SRE terms, do you know the whole thing that at scale you will inevitably get errors and it can be counterproductive to try to eliminate them instead of setting an error budget? I think the same applies here. Is it productive to try to control every penny people in welfare spend? And that's a question that should be answered statistically: do the benefits outweigh the bad consequences?

Statistics guarantee that there will be a lot of anecdotes like the ones you've told. The question is: how representative they truly are? Again, I can only talk about my own country, but I hear the same speech here as well. Statistically speaking, though, just giving people money was the right way to go: most will spend in what they need and yeah, that's way more than just painstakingly-controlled government-allowed list of items. Birth rates actually dropped even more amongst welfare recipients, etc...