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Many single Japanese people in their 20s have never been on a date – survey

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Re: Many single Japanese people in their 20s have never been on a date – survey

#341

Post by GameOfFrowns »

bittercynic wrote: post #340
GameOfFrowns wrote: post #326

Earlier quoted context omitted.

>find people where there is some mutual interest in spending time together. Until the woman has to defend your eligibility against her female friends, comparing you to previous partners, current alternative suitors and male celebrities.

No doubt there are people in the world who do that stuff, but why spend your time with them?

>No doubt there are people in the world who do that stuff, but why spend your time with them?

Because the majority of women is like that and unicorns by definition are hard to find?

Re: Many single Japanese people in their 20s have never been on a date – survey

#342

Post by anon291 »

rpmisms wrote: post #283
anon291 wrote: post #276

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> I don't take my platonic friends to the nice French steakhouse downtown, though. Why not?

Because it sends the wrong message. You take a significant other there for special occasions, or you take a date there if you're really interested/really want to get laid.

Married man 1: "Hey do you want to eat steak?"

Married man 2: "Yeah"

Married man 1: "Wanna get steak together?"

Married man 2: "Yeah"

What message does that send? I don't see where anyone is propositioning anyone else.

> special occassions

You don't celebrate special occassions with friends? Why not? Honestly, this is the saddest thing about the US. Other than romantic things, no one cares to celebrate friendship.

Re: Many single Japanese people in their 20s have never been on a date – survey

#343

Post by anon291 »

ginko wrote: post #324
rpmisms wrote: post #283

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Because it sends the wrong message. You take a significant other there for special occasions, or you take a date there if you're really interested/really want to get laid.

Or you take your friend there because you both like steak and wine.

Apparently, you can only eat steak with someone else if you want to get laid. Who knew? I've been propositioned so many times and didn't even know what was happening. Hope I didn't leave all my buddies hanging.

Re: Many single Japanese people in their 20s have never been on a date – survey

#344

Post by anon291 »

otterley wrote: post #323
anon291 wrote: post #277

Earlier quoted context omitted.

It is significantly different, and while I'm glad you're happy, a second marriage is pretty damning evidence that the loose bond suggested above exists.

No it isn't, because the tight bonds that can be formed in subsequent marriages can be very real. The strength of an interpersonal romantic bond might have some correlation with the age or order in which you met them, but that doesn't mean you can't have even stronger bonds later in life with later partners.

Certainly, but the first marriage failed? SO the bond was loose

Re: Many single Japanese people in their 20s have never been on a date – survey

#345

Post by JamesSwift »

randomdata wrote: post #339
JamesSwift wrote: post #332

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> Outside of those influences, in hindsight, the high school years would have been the perfect time to have children Umm what? Am I offbase in assuming you dont have kids? Its absolutely not a great idea to have children in high school. And I have 2 sisters who did. Without getting into too many details, I think it would have been more stable and much, _much_ easier if they didn't have children that young. Not only a…

> Am I offbase in assuming you dont have kids? Yes. I do have children and in hindsight there would have been a lot of benefits having them much earlier in life. > Not only are you losing out on so much as a parent I lose out on so much now as a parent because I have adulting to do. When I was in high school what did I have to do with my time? Not much. Time that could have been put into the child. I also had way mor…

I dont know why you think the whole thing is just because of some social stigma. Nothing in my rebuttal cares about what society thinks. There are 10000 other things that are legit issues with having kids young before I get to "but what would my neighbor think".

> When I was in high school what did I have to do with my time? Not much. Time that could have been put into the child

Where are you getting all this magical time and money to be a responsible parent as a completely naive/inexperienced teenager? It presumes and absolutely requires someone else being able to take up the slack and provide for you as the parent because you are completely incapable of doing it without the help. I'm all for supporting parents who need the help, but I'm nowhere near suggesting "actually its best to have kids when you arent capable of raising them yourself". Not to mention the weird generational gap that then creates where your child now has their own child but is looking to you for guidance on how to raise them but you relied on grandma/grandpa for a lot of that maturity when you had them.

Also this is without considering the strain kids add to a relationship that somehow we think is magically going to be fine for a 16/17 year old.

Re: Many single Japanese people in their 20s have never been on a date – survey

#346

Post by kirubakaran »

codemunk3 wrote: post #305
kirubakaran wrote: post #285

Earlier quoted context omitted.

https://faangshaadi.com/ I want to believe it's satire, but then there's Poe's Law...

It's satire. Click on the disclaimer on the bottom right

Ah thanks, I have closure now.

Re: Many single Japanese people in their 20s have never been on a date – survey

#347

Post by ip26 »

therusskiy wrote: post #152

30 y.o. male, (ex-)Russia. First time I went on a date I was 23 years old. Before that with all the studying and work I had no time whatsoever for any kind of a relationship. Some people on this thread bring up that dating let's you develop a skill. In my experience dating is pretty easy if your goal is a long-term relationship, you just need to be yourself. If the other person likes you for who you are and not appea…

It’s not about hookup skill but confidence knowing what you want, being a 3-dimensional person, communicating, dealbreakers, and so on.

Being yourself is a good idea- but who are you? What do you really want? What do you need to work on in yourself?

Re: Many single Japanese people in their 20s have never been on a date – survey

#348

Post by ryandrake »

randomdata wrote: post #339
JamesSwift wrote: post #332

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> Outside of those influences, in hindsight, the high school years would have been the perfect time to have children Umm what? Am I offbase in assuming you dont have kids? Its absolutely not a great idea to have children in high school. And I have 2 sisters who did. Without getting into too many details, I think it would have been more stable and much, _much_ easier if they didn't have children that young. Not only a…

> Am I offbase in assuming you dont have kids? Yes. I do have children and in hindsight there would have been a lot of benefits having them much earlier in life. > Not only are you losing out on so much as a parent I lose out on so much now as a parent because I have adulting to do. When I was in high school what did I have to do with my time? Not much. Time that could have been put into the child. I also had way mor…

> I lose out on so much now as a parent because I have adulting to do. When I was in high school what did I have to do with my time? Not much.

Interesting--I feel the exact opposite: You have much more free time as an adult than you do in high school (or college age). When I was As my (tiger-ish) parents would have put it: If you're bored in High School, you're not spending enough time studying.

Re: Many single Japanese people in their 20s have never been on a date – survey

#349

Post by incomingpain »

the_only_law wrote: post #272
incomingpain wrote: post #200

This one isn't so much about Japan. Japan is just sensitive to the problem because their ongoing population decline and upcoming economic collapse far greater than anyone has ever seen. https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/living-single/201710... https://nationalpost.com/news/canada/the-u-s-fertility-rate-... >In 2010, another survey published The Japanese Association for Sex Education Research Journal found that…

> What happens with sexless marriages? You stay at work because it's far less depressing to be at work than be at home in a sexless marriage I gotta to wonder are there any intimate or romantic displays are or they basically just roommates.

>I gotta to wonder are there any intimate or romantic displays are or they basically just roommates.

The way I take it, no. If you're a platonic asexual couple. You wouldn't see a problem being at home in a sexless marriage. It would show up in the studies as well. It's not that extent.

The problem there's resentment, there's anger, you stay away intentionally to avoid extra anger.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Female_sexual_arousal_disorder

There is a problem and for so many societal reasons it needs to be addressed.

Re: Many single Japanese people in their 20s have never been on a date – survey

#350

Post by randomdata »

JamesSwift wrote: post #345
randomdata wrote: post #339

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> Am I offbase in assuming you dont have kids? Yes. I do have children and in hindsight there would have been a lot of benefits having them much earlier in life. > Not only are you losing out on so much as a parent I lose out on so much now as a parent because I have adulting to do. When I was in high school what did I have to do with my time? Not much. Time that could have been put into the child. I also had way mor…

I dont know why you think the whole thing is just because of some social stigma. Nothing in my rebuttal cares about what society thinks. There are 10000 other things that are legit issues with having kids young before I get to "but what would my neighbor think". > When I was in high school what did I have to do with my time? Not much. Time that could have been put into the child Where are you getting all this magical…

> Nothing in my rebuttal cares about what society thinks.

Your entire "rebuttal" is about the lack of support structures that are missing exactly because society does not condone people having children. Something which was already established throughout the thread, being the core premise raised.

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