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Many single Japanese people in their 20s have never been on a date – survey

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Re: Many single Japanese people in their 20s have never been on a date – survey

#211

Controversial opinion: The concept of a 'date' is an american romantic film import for a lot of other cultures. If I go back 10 years in my home country any woman would shut down your conversation if you asked her on a _one-on-one_ 'date', the implication alone would question her 'virtue'/intentions. One-on-one interaction would naturally occur as the casual hanging out with shared groups of friends or parties. I hon…

> One-on-one interaction would naturally occur as the casual hanging out with shared groups of friends or parties. Modern America, by and large, does not have the shared spaces and sense of community where these interactions could occur. As Robert Putnam said it, we're literally 'Bowling Alone'. "Dates" are a band-aid, their only positive is they avoid the alternative of universal inceldom.

This. I've traveled to South America and without exception, there was always at least a town square or something similar where people can congregate. Many times there are music events or other types of festivities on the weekends and cheap vendors with wares or selling a quick bite of food. In this type of environment, it's a lot easier to say hello and even chat with strangers. Kids can go play with other kids. It's awesome and I definitely get that feel of community.

The closest thing we have to that in America that I've personally experienced, is the American shopping mall. Where we all gather for the purposes of....materialism and consumption??? Not knocking on consumerism, but it's definitely not the same as lively public town square.

At any rate, the heyday for shopping malls has passed. Maybe it's just because I'm an introvert and don't get out much, but other than actual festivals, I can't think of any places here in America that foster the same sense of community as those public spaces I encountered in South America.

Re: Many single Japanese people in their 20s have never been on a date – survey

#212
post #120

Controversial opinion: The concept of a 'date' is an american romantic film import for a lot of other cultures. If I go back 10 years in my home country any woman would shut down your conversation if you asked her on a _one-on-one_ 'date', the implication alone would question her 'virtue'/intentions. One-on-one interaction would naturally occur as the casual hanging out with shared groups of friends or parties. I hon…

I'm an old British person and "dating" does sound kind of American to me. People would "go out" together, which I guess is similar but is more like "starting a relationship" than "trying people out with a view to maybe starting a relationship". Which I don't think we really had a term for. I think "dating" in that sense only started seeming commonplace with online dating. Of course people would do things with people…

“Doing things with people you are romantically interested in” is what dating means, whether you use the term actively or not. More context can be found here:

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dating

Re: Many single Japanese people in their 20s have never been on a date – survey

#213

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Maybe there's something that you don't make you look as an attractive partner? Lack of self confidence when it comes to interactions with the other sex? Social awkwardness? Lack of self care? Anyway, your first line is just sad. Yeah, they are having sex with other men, but is your ego so fragile that the idea of a woman having one or more comparison points scares you?

I know the first line is sad. I am trying to find a healthier way to view the situation. A lot of my best friends are women. Recently I went through a major accomplishment. I had five women friends text me to congratulate me. I feel that I dress well, and I am a physically fit marathon-running, motorcycle-riding, outdoorsman. Social awkwardness yes but I think it comes across as being sincere. This is my unhealthy mi…

I suggest that you be comfortable with the fact that you might spend the rest of your life single. I don't mean that you should stop pursuing a partner, but you should not let it bother if you don't find one. You can live a fulfilling life no matter who you're with.

I know several people who stayed single late in their lives, and they are happy and have many friends. I know some others who married late in life, and they are also happy.

Re: Many single Japanese people in their 20s have never been on a date – survey

#214

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> For others it is simply too late. Yup... you need to start very young to have a high chance of having more than two kids.

I'm not sure. Is this sarcasm?

A woman’s biological reproductive system starts declining after around 30 if I recall correctly

Re: Many single Japanese people in their 20s have never been on a date – survey

#215
post #205
post #92

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I think you can say it's more "western" concept than American because the same concept exists in European countries also.

I've never been to an American style date in my life, nor do I do know anyone who does it. At least in France it far out of regular habits. The place for getting to know each other is usually a friends group.

Yeah the details might differ but courting ladies has been in European culture for a long time. I am not saying Europeans date exactly way Americans do. Still there are lot of similarities - like people starting dating in high school, going to clubs/bars to meet or yeah going to some common friend's house.

Re: Many single Japanese people in their 20s have never been on a date – survey

#216

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Ideology gets in the way of truth on this one. One side doesn't want to admit that a lot of poor people have a good bit of free time available to them, particularly those who receive social services. The other side doesn't want to admit that middle class and up folks have been working long hours at a cost to their personal lives and development, that isn't new, but now both mom and dad are doing it and households are…

This is just the natural progression of the gutting of the middle class. A middle class job in the 50s and 60s was MUCH easier on the home and social life. Unions were common and life was pretty civilized on the whole. Since then we've been on a steady regression to the industrial revolution, where employers hold all the power and can use people as they see fit (i.e. forget working only 40 hours a week), and only the…

Those union jobs are not coming back. Globalization destroyed that. The rest of the world became richer (good thing) while in large parts of the US because poverty areas

Re: Many single Japanese people in their 20s have never been on a date – survey

#217

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> One-on-one interaction would naturally occur as the casual hanging out with shared groups of friends or parties. Modern America, by and large, does not have the shared spaces and sense of community where these interactions could occur. As Robert Putnam said it, we're literally 'Bowling Alone'. "Dates" are a band-aid, their only positive is they avoid the alternative of universal inceldom.

This. I've traveled to South America and without exception, there was always at least a town square or something similar where people can congregate. Many times there are music events or other types of festivities on the weekends and cheap vendors with wares or selling a quick bite of food. In this type of environment, it's a lot easier to say hello and even chat with strangers. Kids can go play with other kids. It's…

In America, congregating in a public place for no outwardly visible purpose is called "loitering" and comes with a built-in assumption that you must be up to no good somehow. The signs of a thoroughly broken society.

Re: Many single Japanese people in their 20s have never been on a date – survey

#218
I don't understand their spouse data being very different for males and females. Are there significantly fewer women in Japan, is there a significant difference in gay and lesbian marriage, is there polygamy?

I think people are not reflecting the same relationship as their presumed partner would.

Re: Many single Japanese people in their 20s have never been on a date – survey

#219
post #120

Controversial opinion: The concept of a 'date' is an american romantic film import for a lot of other cultures. If I go back 10 years in my home country any woman would shut down your conversation if you asked her on a _one-on-one_ 'date', the implication alone would question her 'virtue'/intentions. One-on-one interaction would naturally occur as the casual hanging out with shared groups of friends or parties. I hon…

I'm an old British person and "dating" does sound kind of American to me. People would "go out" together, which I guess is similar but is more like "starting a relationship" than "trying people out with a view to maybe starting a relationship". Which I don't think we really had a term for. I think "dating" in that sense only started seeming commonplace with online dating. Of course people would do things with people…

Same here. I'm early 40s and the idea of dating in the American sense seems odd to me. I've met all my romantic partners at parties or through gatherings at friend's houses. Relationships start off as acquaintances and develop organically as we spend time together. It wouldn't occur to me to ask someone I barely know out on a date. Of course, once a mutual interest has been established, we go and do stuff together on our own, but I'd think of that as "going out for dinner with X" or "going hiking with X", but I wouldn't call it dating.

Re: Many single Japanese people in their 20s have never been on a date – survey

#220
post #214

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I'm not sure. Is this sarcasm?

A woman’s biological reproductive system starts declining after around 30 if I recall correctly

Yeah, but in general it's not enough to impact having 2 kids. If getting pregnant for the first time at 30, you could wait the recommended 18 months between kids and still have two without it being a geriatric pregnancy. You don't need to start at 18 to have 2 kids.
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