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Many single Japanese people in their 20s have never been on a date – survey

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Re: Many single Japanese people in their 20s have never been on a date – survey

#191

Post by rpmisms »

anon291 wrote: post #157
rpmisms wrote: post #137

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I get coffee with friends and coworkers too.

Happily married man here. I go to dinner one on one with my guy friends. That doesn't mean taking my wife out to dinner is not a date? Doing 'dating' things with friends is totally normal. It's a 'date' when you're doing it with someone you might marry.

I don't take my platonic friends to the nice French steakhouse downtown, though. Is going to Waffle House because you're hungry a date, or is it going to Waffle House because you're hungry?

Re: Many single Japanese people in their 20s have never been on a date – survey

#192

Post by giantg2 »

anon291 wrote: post #138
randomdata wrote: post #128

Earlier quoted context omitted.

The well-off in North America stopped having kids because it has become socially unacceptable do so; at least in youth. The young "rural hick" mother is the canonical image young women are told they must not become. We even air TV shows (e.g. Teen Mom) meant to portray the ostracization young mothers face in an effort to not let others realize the same fate. Having children is something well-off people have come to f…

> For others it is simply too late. Yup... you need to start very young to have a high chance of having more than two kids.

I'm not sure. Is this sarcasm?

Re: Many single Japanese people in their 20s have never been on a date – survey

#193

Post by curiousllama »

delecti wrote: post #49
yur3i__ wrote: post #25

I'm 22 and have never been on a date or anything resembling one. I'm not too worried about it, though the potential "skill gap" (for lack of a better word) with future partners does concern me a bit I have to admit.

Assuming there aren't any "deal-breakers" about you (mainly that you're not a jerk in some way), I agree you don't have anything to worry about. I was in a similar situation at 21, and am now very happily married at 35. As for any potential "skill gap", I'm just as socially awkward as I was at 21, but my wife doesn't mind. I think conscientious people can usually recognize attempts at conscientiousness.

> I think conscientious people can usually recognize attempts at conscientiousness

FWIW, most of conscientiousness is the intent anyway

Re: Many single Japanese people in their 20s have never been on a date – survey

#194

Post by globular-toast »

yur3i__ wrote: post #25

I'm 22 and have never been on a date or anything resembling one. I'm not too worried about it, though the potential "skill gap" (for lack of a better word) with future partners does concern me a bit I have to admit.

Don't worry about it. The social skills take a few months to pick up. The physical aspect of sex takes a few weeks, if that. It's not difficult.

The only advice I would give to you is don't satisfy your urges with porn in the meantime. Stay far, far away.

Re: Many single Japanese people in their 20s have never been on a date – survey

#195

Post by SpicyLemonZest »

otterley wrote: post #156
anon291 wrote: post #149

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> I’m on my second marriage now I think you're unknowingly proving his point.

Other than the legal and financial ramifications, it’s not significantly different than any other breakup of a relationship due to poor fit. Don’t read into it too much.

In quite a lot of cultural traditions, the point of marriage is supposed to be that it is significantly different and you won't break up due to poor fit. I don't mean this as a personal callout, I'm glad you've found happiness, but when people complain about serial monogamy creating "a loose bond" what they mean is that it makes your view of marriage seem obvious and their view of marriage seem impractical.

Re: Many single Japanese people in their 20s have never been on a date – survey

#196

Post by MisterBastahrd »

Axien wrote: post #169
kstenerud wrote: post #129

Earlier quoted context omitted.

This is just the natural progression of the gutting of the middle class. A middle class job in the 50s and 60s was MUCH easier on the home and social life. Unions were common and life was pretty civilized on the whole. Since then we've been on a steady regression to the industrial revolution, where employers hold all the power and can use people as they see fit (i.e. forget working only 40 hours a week), and only the…

I 100% disagree. With the insanely low unemployment, workers hold more power than any time in human history. Unions were a symptom of an abusive employer. As that abuse subsided, union representation waned.

We've just had 60 years of employer propaganda outspending unions. The WFH aspect of COVID was the first positive pushback for employees in decades.

There are two reasons why managers are so scared about this development. First, middle managers get promoted by being noticed by their superiors. Hard to do when nobody is in the office. Secondly, in a world where a manager can dictate whether your retirement is funded and whether you will be able to have your medical bills covered next month, suddenly we have a sense of power arising from the lowly hourly and salaried employees who once again learned that they have the power to say "no."

Re: Many single Japanese people in their 20s have never been on a date – survey

#197

Post by bradlys »

pizza234 wrote: post #176
bradlys wrote: post #143

Earlier quoted context omitted.

As someone who did get older and went through this - it does not get better. Your hair doesn’t suddenly get thicker. The pounds don’t suddenly become easier to keep off. Your skin doesn’t tighten. Your complexion doesn’t smoothen out. It gets worse. This is just copium we give to men to make them think it gets better. The stats show that it doesn’t get better . If you’re single now and have never been on a date - the…

> Your hair doesn’t suddenly get thicker. The pounds don’t suddenly become easier to keep off. Your skin doesn’t tighten. Your complexion doesn’t smoothen out. If the only change that occurs to a person until the more advanced age, is only physical decline, then they're certainly "less valuable" than their younger counterpart. However, there are people (I hope most) that actually do have many other (inner) qualities…

Inner qualities don't matter with online dating. You're not choosing someone based on inner qualities with online dating or even first dates. You're choosing your dates based off of superficial qualities then hoping maybe there will be good inner qualities that come along.

This is why if you're not getting dates now - you will not get them later unless you change something about your most superficial appearance.

Re: Many single Japanese people in their 20s have never been on a date – survey

#198

Post by [deleted] »

ecshafer wrote: post #62
rpmisms wrote: post #57

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I am married, never dated in the normal sense. Met a girl, spent time doing normal things with her, we decided we got along well enough to get married. Coming up on three years, seems to work pretty well.

Doing normal things together is dating. Maybe I am missing your point. But if you ever went out to dinner together, or lunch, or walked in the park, those are dates.

[deleted]

Re: Many single Japanese people in their 20s have never been on a date – survey

#199

Post by giantg2 »

sbf501 wrote: post #177
doliveira wrote: post #158

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I mean, it wasn't that subtle, but yeah, subtle enough just for distraction. I don't know how the situation is in the USA, but in Brazil we have the myth of mothers having 10 children just to get more money for each child.

Similar. It is very common to hear the right side of US politics claim poor minority women have multiple children just to get "free stuff" from the government, yet the same folks also want to make abortion illegal. Some people even claim the government will pay for your child if you are completely poor. The lies are astonishing, but the racism is necessary for their populist political message to work.

"Some people even claim the government will pay for your child if you are completely poor."

Is this not mostly true? It seems government does pick up the tab for impoverished children. School, school lunch, Medicaid, SNAP/WIC, and easier to get housing as a woman with kids (both through charities and HUD housing and grants).

Re: Many single Japanese people in their 20s have never been on a date – survey

#200

Post by incomingpain »

This one isn't so much about Japan. Japan is just sensitive to the problem because their ongoing population decline and upcoming economic collapse far greater than anyone has ever seen.

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/living-single/201710...

https://nationalpost.com/news/canada/the-u-s-fertility-rate-...

>In 2010, another survey published The Japanese Association for Sex Education Research Journal found that 40.8% (up from 34.6% in 2006) of marriages in Japan could be classified as "sexless"

What an absolute disaster. Imagine all of Japan's recent Fukushima type events combined? How many deaths are associated with sexless marriages. Holy crap this is a disaster greater then their recent nuclear meltdown by whole factor levels. Easily hundreds of thousands of deaths every year.

What happens with sexless marriages? You stay at work because it's far less depressing to be at work than be at home in a sexless marriage. So Japanese work long hours. Yet people are lonely... and clearly quite unhappy. They even have a 'minister of loneliness'. So what does 'work' do? Try to make you happy. Mandatory happy training!

They are unhappy... they just need to get laid. Worse yet, you have such a large percentage of your work force who are sexless and unhappy. What does this do to productivity? How about that economic collapse because of tremendous government debt and tremendous taxes?

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