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Many single Japanese people in their 20s have never been on a date – survey

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Re: Many single Japanese people in their 20s have never been on a date – survey

#141

Post by tmay »

willcipriano wrote: post #76
natly wrote: post #56

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Even elon strangely dismissed that obvious cause when it was pointed out under his pinned tweet https://twitter.com/BillyM2k/status/1529125347148455937 (elons explanation doesn't make any sense).

Ideology gets in the way of truth on this one. One side doesn't want to admit that a lot of poor people have a good bit of free time available to them, particularly those who receive social services. The other side doesn't want to admit that middle class and up folks have been working long hours at a cost to their personal lives and development, that isn't new, but now both mom and dad are doing it and households are…

It’s also security. If you are born middle class and get middle class income but are worse off than your parents were, and have no housing or job security, you won’t start a family unless you’re irresponsible. You are falling behind relative your status quo. People want to provide at least as much for their children as their own parents could provide: stable housing situation, safe neighborhoods, etc.

Re: Many single Japanese people in their 20s have never been on a date – survey

#142

Post by rpmisms »

treis wrote: post #132
piyh wrote: post #61

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Meet Girl ??? Marriage

It's a cultural thing. Extremely broadly speaking, the West treats love as something you fall into while Asia + some other places treat it as something you build.

I'm a born American of Slavic extraction, and my wife is Scotch-Irish.

Re: Many single Japanese people in their 20s have never been on a date – survey

#143

Post by bradlys »

willcipriano wrote: post #45
yur3i__ wrote: post #25

I'm 22 and have never been on a date or anything resembling one. I'm not too worried about it, though the potential "skill gap" (for lack of a better word) with future partners does concern me a bit I have to admit.

Mens value in the dating marketplace goes up over time. If you are relatively sane, sober and employed around 28, mother nature helps you out with her biological alarm clock. Keep your head up, it's going to get easier from here on out.

As someone who did get older and went through this - it does not get better. Your hair doesn’t suddenly get thicker. The pounds don’t suddenly become easier to keep off. Your skin doesn’t tighten. Your complexion doesn’t smoothen out.

It gets worse. This is just copium we give to men to make them think it gets better. The stats show that it doesn’t get better. If you’re single now and have never been on a date - the only thing that increases is your time on the market. Your value though - it will continue to plummet unless you do something about it.

Often the stories about men who didn’t do well in their early 20s but managed well later are due to weight loss, fashion sense, not being poor, etc. If you didn’t catch on already - none of these are unsolvable at 22. You can fix them at 22 and be much better off than a 28 year old.

The quality of people you’ll be able to date will also vary even more wildly. You’re going to get far more jaded people who used their 20s to burn every emotionally healthy neuron they had in their brain, people who are desperate to settle down but are bad at making long term choices with it (thus high risk of divorce), and many single parents. (40% of children are born out of wedlock today)

It does not get better as you age. This is a myth. If you’re a shit candidate at 22 - you will be a shit candidate at 28 unless something markedly changes about yourself. (Which - again - can happen at 22 - there’s no reason to wait)

Re: Many single Japanese people in their 20s have never been on a date – survey

#144

Post by jjoonathan »

willcipriano wrote: post #76
natly wrote: post #56

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Even elon strangely dismissed that obvious cause when it was pointed out under his pinned tweet https://twitter.com/BillyM2k/status/1529125347148455937 (elons explanation doesn't make any sense).

Ideology gets in the way of truth on this one. One side doesn't want to admit that a lot of poor people have a good bit of free time available to them, particularly those who receive social services. The other side doesn't want to admit that middle class and up folks have been working long hours at a cost to their personal lives and development, that isn't new, but now both mom and dad are doing it and households are…

The government could grow a spine and start enforcing 40 hour work weeks.

In fact, they could go further: 3 day work week. "What? 3? 4 was nuts, 3 is insane!" Before you balk, note that before bringing women into the workforce a typical couple contributed 5 out of 14 days to the workforce. 3*2 is 6, and 6/14 is more than 5/14. Also, 6/14 is less than 7/14 meaning parents are allowed to raise their children again. Wouldn't that be nice? Perhaps even nice enough to fix this stupid problem we made for ourselves?

Obviously it's not the 50s, and there is the matter of international competition to consider. Just remember: China has the same problem, but worse. Cooperation may be possible.

I don't have high hopes. Capital controls the world. Policy will continue to be "labor get rekt" for the foreseeable future, and in the most shortsighted and cynical way possible, with no allowance for the possibility that healthy balances might wind up being a win for everyone. With AI... it's going to get worse before it gets better. A lot worse.

Re: Many single Japanese people in their 20s have never been on a date – survey

#145

Post by anon291 »

IE6 wrote: post #73
willcipriano wrote: post #45

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Mens value in the dating marketplace goes up over time. If you are relatively sane, sober and employed around 28, mother nature helps you out with her biological alarm clock. Keep your head up, it's going to get easier from here on out.

To be honest this reply smells like "man-o-sphere" logic... PSA: To anyone struggling with this please try and ignore any advice online that focuses on the opposite sex and their inherent value (or lack thereof). Actually talking to the opposite sex even in a casual way is a really good way to get over this type of thinking.

I'm not part of the 'man-o-sphere' (got married at 22, so no time for 'dating'), but I'm not sure what exactly you're saying. No one marries another for 'inherent value' You marry for looks, money, reproductive capacity, etc. By its nature monogamy means looking for more than the inherent value, because if we just considered inherent value, all prospects would be equal, and clearly they are not.

Re: Many single Japanese people in their 20s have never been on a date – survey

#146

Post by marcyb5st »

aquadoggy wrote: post #89
yur3i__ wrote: post #25

I'm 22 and have never been on a date or anything resembling one. I'm not too worried about it, though the potential "skill gap" (for lack of a better word) with future partners does concern me a bit I have to admit.

Quoted post unavailable.

Maybe there's something that you don't make you look as an attractive partner? Lack of self confidence when it comes to interactions with the other sex? Social awkwardness? Lack of self care?

Anyway, your first line is just sad. Yeah, they are having sex with other men, but is your ego so fragile that the idea of a woman having one or more comparison points scares you?

Re: Many single Japanese people in their 20s have never been on a date – survey

#148

Post by gexla »

lurquer wrote: post #93
didip wrote: post #43

The government and the media keep freaking out about birth rate declining but made no attempts in fixing the poor working conditions in Japan. Who wants to date, marry, or have kids if you can barely live your life?

> Who wants to date, marry, or have kids if you can barely live your life? Apparently most of humanity for most of recorded history. 20-something males (in Japan and, to an increasing degree in the US) are not foregoing dating and marriage due to ‘working conditions.’ The reasons are, regrettably, more complex. Indeed, in the current state we’re in, giving young men more leisure time and money would undoubtedly resul…

There's still something to this, though maybe not as the parent comment worded it. Culture in modern Japan is significantly different from "most of recorded history." If the cultural belief is that you need a house, car, and the means to support a family as a pre-requisite for dating, then maybe you just drop out of the idea if those things seem unattainable.

In poorer SE Asian countries, such as the Philippines, you don't have these same expectations. That country is still a place where people barely surviving off a farm have large families. There is also the factor where the Catholic Church resists the idea of birth control.

Re: Many single Japanese people in their 20s have never been on a date – survey

#149

Post by anon291 »

otterley wrote: post #136
aquadoggy wrote: post #115

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Yes, I am completely onboard with this tradition. I think of it as the 'tape' analogy. If you stick tape many times, each subsequent stick is less firm. Same with relationships. You bring increasing amounts of baggage, all of your "firsts" have already been done, and you have a loose bond to your partner.

This is a bullshit theory with zero evidence or science behind it. I’m on my second marriage now, am about as far from a virgin as the earth is from the sun, and I’m as happy as can be and utterly devoted to and blissfully in love with my wife. Listen, I know you’re probably having difficulty finding a romantic relationship and I know how demoralizing and depressing that can be. I’ve been there - my teens and twentie…

> I’m on my second marriage now

I think you're unknowingly proving his point.

Re: Many single Japanese people in their 20s have never been on a date – survey

#150

Post by rokhayakebe »

csomar wrote: post #99
didip wrote: post #43

The government and the media keep freaking out about birth rate declining but made no attempts in fixing the poor working conditions in Japan. Who wants to date, marry, or have kids if you can barely live your life?

> The government and the media keep freaking out about birth rate declining but made no attempts in fixing the poor working conditions in Japan. I think the next century revelation will be that you should focus on individual growth rather than population growth. In our tech-oriented economy, it matters more that you have quality technology rather than quantitative production. > Who wants to date, marry, or have kids…

I am from Africa, that is changing. I dare say it has already changed. I know maybe 2 people under 50 who have more than 2 kids. Almost every first-time mother has a family plan created for her with the help of health care professionals.
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