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Many single Japanese people in their 20s have never been on a date – survey

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Re: Many single Japanese people in their 20s have never been on a date – survey

#81

Post by fristechill »

willismichael wrote: post #59
fristechill wrote: post #37

Equally disturbing is the fact that many married men are being encouraged to participate in a permanent state of ersatz courtship known as 'date nights'. What's the point of getting married if you still have to go on dates? https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mm1HgQbXFEE

What's the point of owning a home if you still have to pay for maintenance? What's the point of graduating from college if you still have to put effort into developing your skills?

Apologies--I seem to have touched a nerve here. There are worse things than dates, I'm sure, e.g. hookup apps

Re: Many single Japanese people in their 20s have never been on a date – survey

#82

Post by NineStarPoint »

commiepatrol wrote: post #17

I wish they would define what a date is. Does it mean virgin or at least someone who has had sex without paying for it? It also looks like in their culture you can be romantically involved without being sexually involved - are they saying 40% of younger men have never had a relationship?

40% never having a romantic relationship outside of marriage, yes. The two graphs gave roughly the same number, with one translating to how many “恋人” some has had, translating roughly to “Girlfriend, Boyfriend, Sweetheart” and the other graph translating roughly to “How many people have you gone on a date with”, dating using the loan word “デート”.

In both cases, about 5% of married people considered themselves to be at 0 people in both categories. It’s not about sex, it’s about having another person you spent time with in a romantic intent.

Re: Many single Japanese people in their 20s have never been on a date – survey

#83

Post by Invictus0 »

DoingIsLearning wrote: post #68

Controversial opinion: The concept of a 'date' is an american romantic film import for a lot of other cultures. If I go back 10 years in my home country any woman would shut down your conversation if you asked her on a _one-on-one_ 'date', the implication alone would question her 'virtue'/intentions. One-on-one interaction would naturally occur as the casual hanging out with shared groups of friends or parties. I hon…

What is your home country?

Re: Many single Japanese people in their 20s have never been on a date – survey

#84

Post by dheera »

willcipriano wrote: post #45
yur3i__ wrote: post #25

I'm 22 and have never been on a date or anything resembling one. I'm not too worried about it, though the potential "skill gap" (for lack of a better word) with future partners does concern me a bit I have to admit.

Mens value in the dating marketplace goes up over time. If you are relatively sane, sober and employed around 28, mother nature helps you out with her biological alarm clock. Keep your head up, it's going to get easier from here on out.

> mother nature helps you out with her biological alarm clock

Which can also be another can of worms.

I'm single, in my mid-late 30s, and a lot of the women I encounter of compatible age seem to want kids yesterday, and that kind of rush doesn't work well for establishing a healthy relationship.

Re: Many single Japanese people in their 20s have never been on a date – survey

#85

Post by Broken_Hippo »

fristechill wrote: post #37

Equally disturbing is the fact that many married men are being encouraged to participate in a permanent state of ersatz courtship known as 'date nights'. What's the point of getting married if you still have to go on dates? https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mm1HgQbXFEE

I'm pretty sure "date night" is some folks' way of scheduling time together, especially when they have children.

Re: Many single Japanese people in their 20s have never been on a date – survey

#86

Post by nonameiguess »

bpodgursky wrote: post #60
natly wrote: post #56

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Even elon strangely dismissed that obvious cause when it was pointed out under his pinned tweet https://twitter.com/BillyM2k/status/1529125347148455937 (elons explanation doesn't make any sense).

These are fairly different arguments. Japan's working hours are traditionally brutal - 12 hours a day, 6-7 days a week. Plus mandatory "happy" hours. It's often a financially comfortable life; but there's 0 flexibility to find an employer that allows a 9-5 workday, even if you're willing to take a pay cut. Elon is saying that high-paid professionals in the US have fewer children than the lower-middle class, which is…

That seems to be missing that many of those highly-paid professionals were not highly paid in their peak fertile years. Engineers maybe, but doctors and lawyers tend to spend many years in school and then interning. If you start having kids at 30, you'll usually end up with fewer total kids than if you had started at 20. The most highly paid engineers are likely those willing and able to relocate frequently, too, which brings its own challenges. Money is needed to feel secure enough to start a family, but so are stable living arrangements and social structures.

Re: Many single Japanese people in their 20s have never been on a date – survey

#87

Post by rtkaratekid »

fristechill wrote: post #37

Equally disturbing is the fact that many married men are being encouraged to participate in a permanent state of ersatz courtship known as 'date nights'. What's the point of getting married if you still have to go on dates? https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mm1HgQbXFEE

"Dating" during marriage is just a way to make sure you set aside time to keep a relationship healthy. It doesn't need to be "a permanent state of ersatz courtship". My wife and I go on hikes, work in the yard together and play board games. Many other couples do similar things. Again, it's just a way to set aside time to focus on a relationship in the hustle and bustle of life.

Re: Many single Japanese people in their 20s have never been on a date – survey

#88

Post by kurthr »

bpodgursky wrote: post #60
natly wrote: post #56

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Even elon strangely dismissed that obvious cause when it was pointed out under his pinned tweet https://twitter.com/BillyM2k/status/1529125347148455937 (elons explanation doesn't make any sense).

These are fairly different arguments. Japan's working hours are traditionally brutal - 12 hours a day, 6-7 days a week. Plus mandatory "happy" hours. It's often a financially comfortable life; but there's 0 flexibility to find an employer that allows a 9-5 workday, even if you're willing to take a pay cut. Elon is saying that high-paid professionals in the US have fewer children than the lower-middle class, which is…

In my experience Japan's working hours haven't been 12hr or 6-7 days a week for more than a decade due to government regulation and cultural consensus (although commutes are still very long). China's 996 work culture was still close to this, but it has died in the last couple of years and has been replaced in pop culture with "laying flat" = tang ping 007... or even "bai lan".

Re: Many single Japanese people in their 20s have never been on a date – survey

#89

Post by aquadoggy »

yur3i__ wrote: post #25

I'm 22 and have never been on a date or anything resembling one. I'm not too worried about it, though the potential "skill gap" (for lack of a better word) with future partners does concern me a bit I have to admit.

No post body was provided.

Re: Many single Japanese people in their 20s have never been on a date – survey

#90

Post by StillBored »

t-3 wrote: post #8
brnt wrote: post #4

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Does a date imply going somewhere? Most of my dates were at mine or other party's home, and we'd describe them as "dates".

Yeah, in my view, going on a date means going out to in a one-on-one format. Going to each others' house is just normal friend stuff, with the only difference from hanging out with my same-sex friends being sexual activity.

This is more about interest. Two opposite sex unattached adults hanging out alone with each other will probably progress to dating if it goes on long enough unless there is something explicitly wrong with a sexual relationship (aka one person doesn't have a normal sexual drive/whatever).

AKA, there may be sexual interest simply due to the lack of immediate alternatives but neither party knows how to express it outright, so the flirting and hanging out together becomes more overt until its clear to both parties.

(PS: This is sorta why you don't see a lot of married opposite sex people "hanging out" alone in private. There is an understanding that your putting both people in a position of temptation, or if nothing else the situation definitely fires up the rumor mill because frankly there is a high incidence of cheating, and this is one of the clearer ways this happens. ).

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