101–110 of 383 posts
Controversial opinion: The concept of a 'date' is an american romantic film import for a lot of other cultures. If I go back 10 years in my home country any woman would shut down your conversation if you asked her on a _one-on-one_ 'date', the implication alone would question her 'virtue'/intentions. One-on-one interaction would naturally occur as the casual hanging out with shared groups of friends or parties. I hon…
I don’t know that much about Japan, so forgive me, but I was under the impression that in Japan there was a lot of shame attached to sex, and sexuality. Could the view on sex, particularly casual sex, impact dating?
There was a lot of shame attached to sexuality and casual sex in the US in the 1950s and people dated (courted) more and got married more and had more kids. Those attitudes are still the same in most of Asia and Africa, and people have relationships. The irony of developed countries is that as acceptance of sexuality increases, relationships and indeed even sexual activity is decreasing. What appears to be breaking d…
Yeah, and the free market of dating definitely favors some personality types more than others. In general, people who can tell good jokes, listen to a story, ask questions, dance a bit, etc have it easier than those who can't.
Whereas in societies with more traditional pairing mechanisms you could lack in some of those prince/princess charming categories as long as you were decent and employed.
Having a foot in both cultures, I've seen how people suited personality-wise for the latter type can struggle in the former.
Earlier quoted context omitted.
I am married, never dated in the normal sense. Met a girl, spent time doing normal things with her, we decided we got along well enough to get married. Coming up on three years, seems to work pretty well.
"Spent time doing normal things with her" what does that even mean if not "dating"? What's "dating in the normal sense"?
A semi-formal social structure that lets you get close to people with a reasonable degree of separation from your real personal life.
I'm 22 and have never been on a date or anything resembling one. I'm not too worried about it, though the potential "skill gap" (for lack of a better word) with future partners does concern me a bit I have to admit.
FWIW I was very bad at getting dates when I was your age. It's really a skill you develop, the more you do it the better you will get. From age 20-25 I think I went on maybe 7 dates. So far this year I've gone on >20
Most people I know dating aren't trying to optimize for the number of dates they go one with different people but ideally trying to find that one person they can be with for awhile. So the common definition of "getting better at dates" implies you eventually date less.
I have a few friends in their mid-30s that have become quite the experts at getting dates, but all of them seem fairly unhappy that they are still working on dating rather than in a steady relationship and focusing on other things.
Controversial opinion: The concept of a 'date' is an american romantic film import for a lot of other cultures. If I go back 10 years in my home country any woman would shut down your conversation if you asked her on a _one-on-one_ 'date', the implication alone would question her 'virtue'/intentions. One-on-one interaction would naturally occur as the casual hanging out with shared groups of friends or parties. I hon…
Controversial opinion: The concept of a 'date' is an american romantic film import for a lot of other cultures. If I go back 10 years in my home country any woman would shut down your conversation if you asked her on a _one-on-one_ 'date', the implication alone would question her 'virtue'/intentions. One-on-one interaction would naturally occur as the casual hanging out with shared groups of friends or parties. I hon…
I'm 22 and have never been on a date or anything resembling one. I'm not too worried about it, though the potential "skill gap" (for lack of a better word) with future partners does concern me a bit I have to admit.
Quoted post unavailable.
Point being: It's not a foregone conclusion that your future wife is having sex right now. There are still people out there who wait.
Controversial opinion: The concept of a 'date' is an american romantic film import for a lot of other cultures. If I go back 10 years in my home country any woman would shut down your conversation if you asked her on a _one-on-one_ 'date', the implication alone would question her 'virtue'/intentions. One-on-one interaction would naturally occur as the casual hanging out with shared groups of friends or parties. I hon…
The government and the media keep freaking out about birth rate declining but made no attempts in fixing the poor working conditions in Japan. Who wants to date, marry, or have kids if you can barely live your life?
> Who wants to date, marry, or have kids if you can barely live your life? Apparently most of humanity for most of recorded history. 20-something males (in Japan and, to an increasing degree in the US) are not foregoing dating and marriage due to ‘working conditions.’ The reasons are, regrettably, more complex. Indeed, in the current state we’re in, giving young men more leisure time and money would undoubtedly resul…