Hacker News Board Hacker News, browsed like a classic message board
Live data from Hacker News

I was forced to be a child star. It was never my dream or my idea

wilwheaton.net

Post reply on HN
Print view View original

181–190 of 367 posts

Re: I was forced to be a child star. It was never my dream or my idea

#181

Post by piperswe »

girvo wrote: post #84
nurettin wrote: post #77

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I wish I was pushed as a child to play the piano. And I did it for my child. He endured it for a year. He's talented and he's at the beginner's level, but when we observed closely, he didn't want to practise. He only did it when we threatened him with stopping the lessons. So we just let it go. Now we have a piano at the house. He sometimes plays whatever he likes. Maybe he will pick it up later in his life. Maybe I…

My parents were similar (I played trombone, though I was terrible at it. Or I felt I was anyway). One interesting thing, is the thing I am best at, I had to sneak and scrape and fight tooth and nail to do, which was learn to program on our PC: the thing that is my life and career now two decades on. I've been programming my whole life, but all throughout my childhood my parents hated the idea of me spending my time o…

Same story here - my parents fought the uphill battle until they ran out of steam to try and get me to do anything else, but my career has basically shut them up on that now

Re: I was forced to be a child star. It was never my dream or my idea

#183

Post by jazzythom »

dale_glass wrote: post #144
shkkmo wrote: post #43

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> You have to be practical, that opportunity could generate millions for his future and build a career. Or they can be scared for life and have never get any of that money, as in this instance. We don't force or even allow children to work in any other industry. It is ridiculous and offensive to say that calling for the end of the exception for child actors is somehow equivalent to saying "we should cut a hole in a c…

Most jobs require a huge time investment and a reliable schedule. At least theoretically, you could accommodate children by only giving them small roles that require very infrequent time investment on their part, and a bunch of people keeping an eye on everything going on. The question is whether such a thing can be worked out at all, or whether it's safer just to jinx the entire idea, reasoning that there will be to…

I think we need to predict what kids will become, what they actually want, and fully commit to giving them that outcome. It’s necessary to take some risk of an outcome like WW, but they were just being opportunistic. We need to pursue for children a narrative with intent.

Re: I was forced to be a child star. It was never my dream or my idea

#184

Post by OJFord »

mavhc wrote: post #15
BarryMilo wrote: post #13

Earlier quoted context omitted.

People don't want to believe. I try to explain to my friends why I won't watch anything with children as prominent characters, but they generally don't want to hear it, because "Stranger Things is so good" or something. Hollywood is the land of depravity and abuse. It's no place for children.

And Stranger Things isn't good, it's just a mashup of 80s films that are at least twice as old as the actors, no original ideas at all. The problem is more celebrity rather than the filming process. Make it illegal to report any "news", ie gossip, about anyone under 18 for a start.

I don't know specifically which 80s films you mean, but there were plenty made in the 80s that rehashed things that came before. Isn't that true of all art, ever?

Re: I was forced to be a child star. It was never my dream or my idea

#185

Post by spoiler »

jeroenhd wrote: post #153
spoiler wrote: post #59

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I really hate these euphemisms for abusive care givers. It isn't "tiger mums," more often than not it's just covert/vulnerable narcissistic parents. I'm not saying it's always the case, but can we really appreciate parents that have so little empathy that they can't see how much suffering their egocentricity causes their own children? Edit: typo

I think the imagery of a tiger works quite well: a stalking, murdering animal that will strike when their prey is most vulnerable or least expect it. They can appear like soft, fluffy, playful cats on the outside, but like most carnivores, they simply cannot survive for long without killing other animals. They are also almosg always alone when they're not raising offspring, which is not necessarily something you'd wa…

> I think the imagery of a tiger works quite well: a stalking, murdering animal that will strike when their prey is most vulnerable or least expect it. They can appear like soft, fluffy, playful cats on the outside, but like most carnivores, they simply cannot survive for long without killing other animals. They are also almosg always alone when they're not raising offspring, which is not necessarily something you'd want to associate yourself with as a human.

That's an interesting take actually. I never considered it like that, because often these types of mothers pride themselves on being "tiger mum" that protect their "cubs". In my head that was always simply wrapping an abusive reality into a cute narrative.

Re: I was forced to be a child star. It was never my dream or my idea

#186

Post by Dzugaru »

pvorb wrote: post #25
TedDoesntTalk wrote: post #6

Now think how many children suffered the same fate, but we’ll never hear about it because they did not become famous. Reminds me of “dance moms” or “cheer moms”, “football dads”, etc. If you’re a parent, remember not to live your unfulfilled dreams through your children.

You mean like trying to get your kid into programming, which is a bit more common around here?

My mom was a programmer (in the 90s) and they never thought this is the way to make a living. But they saw my interest in programming and went along with it, taking me to classes and buying a PC. It turned out spectacularly good for me, obviously.

Re: I was forced to be a child star. It was never my dream or my idea

#188

Post by billllll »

lisalee90 wrote: post #78

In fact, most Chinese children have similar experiences to you, like me. But it's been a lot better lately because the kids who have been through these bad things have grown up and become parents, hahaha.

I'm a child of Chinese immigrants, and I don't agree that most Chinese children have similar experiences. Yes, Chinese parents will often push their kids into doing things. I myself was pushed to learn an instrument, do after school work, etc. This often leads to conflict between parent and child, especially when the child is exposed to more western upbringings that doesn't force kids to do these things.

One big difference is that Wil was robbed of his childhood and friends for acting, while a lot of the after school activities forced upon us were formative for childhood. Wil was actually working a real job, I just got piano lessons and had to practice almost every day.

Another big difference is that Wil's parents mostly acted in their own self interest, whereas most parents bussing their kids to after school activities mostly do it for the kid (for college admissions usually).

Obviously there is a wide spectrum, and there are exceptions (the original Tiger Mom probably crosses the line for example). However, I think saying in general that overzealous parents are the same as abusive parents downplays the abuse that Wil and others received.

Re: I was forced to be a child star. It was never my dream or my idea

#189

Post by [deleted] »

girvo wrote: post #84
nurettin wrote: post #77

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I wish I was pushed as a child to play the piano. And I did it for my child. He endured it for a year. He's talented and he's at the beginner's level, but when we observed closely, he didn't want to practise. He only did it when we threatened him with stopping the lessons. So we just let it go. Now we have a piano at the house. He sometimes plays whatever he likes. Maybe he will pick it up later in his life. Maybe I…

My parents were similar (I played trombone, though I was terrible at it. Or I felt I was anyway). One interesting thing, is the thing I am best at, I had to sneak and scrape and fight tooth and nail to do, which was learn to program on our PC: the thing that is my life and career now two decades on. I've been programming my whole life, but all throughout my childhood my parents hated the idea of me spending my time o…

[deleted]

Re: I was forced to be a child star. It was never my dream or my idea

#190

Post by MisterBastahrd »

gjulianm wrote: post #163
MisterBastahrd wrote: post #160

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I'd rather be unhappy that I lost a few life experiences as a kid than being unhappy now because I can't pay my rent, I'm living off ramen, and my apartment has bedbugs, but that's just me.

It's not "I wish I didn't lose a few life experiences". Will Wheaton has expressed several times that he has severe chronic depression and anxiety. There's a lot of range between "can't pay rent" and "severely depressed millionaire" and I don't think people want either of those extremes.

Millions of people have severe chronic depression and anxiety. Most of them don't have the resources to get treatment, they don't write memoirs that get republished, they don't end up getting an interview on Access Hollywood to talk about what a shit childhood they had, and they don't have a megaphone to throw their parents under the bus while enriching themselves from the legacy that was only possible because of their supposed trauma.

It's one thing to say "hey, this is my experience, many people didn't know, I thought it sucks, I want to warn people about it, and I struggle with the results."

It's another to say "I hated my childhood, I never got to do anything, here are ten thousand reasons why I hate my parents, and I'm gonna continue to throw them under the bus until people stop paying me to talk about it."

It's normal to dislike some people. Even your parents. It's flat out unproductive to be perpetually bitter about things that happened 30-40 years ago when you're about to be 50, and I'm a person who would know given my own childhood... and my own (which I thought was fairly traumatic emotionally) was a cakewalk compared to my SO's.

If those people care about him as little as he says, then the only person he's hurting by continuing to revisit it is himself. There's a difference between being upset that it happened and being so angry at the people who have long since either forgotten or forgiven themselves that you need to go on TV about it and then follow it up with a blog post. I don't think it helped him, he comes off as petulant, and it definitely didn't hurt anyone else if his narrative is accurate.

Post reply on HN