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I was forced to be a child star. It was never my dream or my idea

wilwheaton.net

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Re: I was forced to be a child star. It was never my dream or my idea

#151

Post by thematrixturtle »

true_religion wrote: post #103
wahern wrote: post #33

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> Music is a very "asian" or "chinese" thing to put your child through. Asian culture simply adopted American and English culture in this regard. In the United States circa 1950s and 1960s it was very common for children to be taking piano lessons, and owning a piano was also relatively common. Both the lessons and the piano itself were important status symbols, and having both were considered markers of being middle…

> Asian culture simply adopted American and English culture in this regard Since the OP mentioned China specifically, I think it’s good to note that the Chinese elite have venerated art for millennia. Poetry writing, singing, and playing musical instruments were a staple of every young nobles education during the times of the Imperial dynasties. It’s not at all something simply copied from the British during coloniza…

I've never heard of a Chinese/Asian parent forcing the erhu or pipa on their kids though: it's always Western instruments, particularly the violin and piano.

Re: I was forced to be a child star. It was never my dream or my idea

#152

Post by dale_glass »

golemotron wrote: post #120
Osmose wrote: post #109

Earlier quoted context omitted.

If that helps you, sure, go for it, but for many people forgiving their abusers gives no closure and only enables them further. Sometimes people hurt you and they don't get to receive forgiveness, ever.

It seems like you have "forgiving" and "continuing to be in contact with" mixed together. Doing one does not imply doing the other. You don't even have to tell them.

That leads to an interesting philosophical discussion: what does "forgiving" actually technically involve? It's a fuzzy word.

The way I interpret the word (and I suspect others also do) is "crossing the offense off the metaphorical list of outstanding committed wrongs". If I forgive a debt then I'm removing it from my list of stuff that I expect to be repaid. It means you no longer need to worry about me holding it over your head whenever we bump into each other on the street.

And with a bad enough misdeed I think that's an unreasonable expectation.

Re: I was forced to be a child star. It was never my dream or my idea

#153

Post by jeroenhd »

spoiler wrote: post #59
chrischen wrote: post #27

Keep in mind this doesn’t just happen with child actors. A lot of kids (such as those of tiger moms) suffer from this. And because they are kids they don’t know any better.

I really hate these euphemisms for abusive care givers. It isn't "tiger mums," more often than not it's just covert/vulnerable narcissistic parents. I'm not saying it's always the case, but can we really appreciate parents that have so little empathy that they can't see how much suffering their egocentricity causes their own children? Edit: typo

I think the imagery of a tiger works quite well: a stalking, murdering animal that will strike when their prey is most vulnerable or least expect it. They can appear like soft, fluffy, playful cats on the outside, but like most carnivores, they simply cannot survive for long without killing other animals. They are also almosg always alone when they're not raising offspring, which is not necessarily something you'd want to associate yourself with as a human.

I can't fathom how someone would abuse their own family for their personal gains. There must some something deeply wrong with the narcissistic parents that force their children to work for them. There are at least two subreddits about people raised by terrible parents like these and the problem is clearly more prevalent than I'd ever expect. It's one thing to be uninterested in your child's wants or needs, like Wil's dad appears to be, but also forcing them to work for your own betterment feels like something that only a Disney villain could do.

Re: I was forced to be a child star. It was never my dream or my idea

#154

Post by abhaynayar »

strken wrote: post #116
benkwokcy wrote: post #31

Earlier quoted context omitted.

You don't have to catch up. It doesn't matter how good you are, only if you are enjoying it.

This is true in a sense, but the motivation a hobby gives you can depend on your performance. It often feels like there's a skill level where you hit critical mass and feel more rewarded than frustrated. Kids learn fast and are less afraid to fail, so they can start new things more easily.

The upside of hitting that critical mass is negligible to the downside of not hitting that critical mass.

Even when I get rewarded in things that I took up on my own, I feel that the rewards are quite measly compared to just having a normal healthy mental and physical existence. And these are interests that I took up on my own, I wonder how bad it would be for someone pushed by their parents.

But then again, I guess if someone grows up not having anything they're good at, they might blame their parents for not pushing them. Parenting must be very difficult.

Re: I was forced to be a child star. It was never my dream or my idea

#155

Post by kzrdude »

thematrixturtle wrote: post #151
true_religion wrote: post #103

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> Asian culture simply adopted American and English culture in this regard Since the OP mentioned China specifically, I think it’s good to note that the Chinese elite have venerated art for millennia. Poetry writing, singing, and playing musical instruments were a staple of every young nobles education during the times of the Imperial dynasties. It’s not at all something simply copied from the British during coloniza…

I've never heard of a Chinese/Asian parent forcing the erhu or pipa on their kids though: it's always Western instruments, particularly the violin and piano.

You can read into that, that violin and piano are considered to be high status. And yes, probably, the current 20th century legacy of western culture being high status.

Re: I was forced to be a child star. It was never my dream or my idea

#156

Post by MisterBastahrd »

patmcc wrote: post #7

I really wouldn't be surprised if 30/40/50 years from now "child stars" will seem as absurd and barbaric as child labor in general does today. It just seems so terrible and exploitative in so many cases.

This is where I think that people are not seeing the bigger picture with generative AIs. There will be a time where a director will be able to specify an angle or two and say:

"Darkwing Duck shoots a grappling hook up the Eiffel Tower and gets pulled up to the observation deck"

and then the entire sequence will be generated in near realtime.

Then they'll start doing it with actors. Movie studios will create composite actors with composite voices to star in films which, from a visual standpoint, are about 80% generated by AI.

Re: I was forced to be a child star. It was never my dream or my idea

#157

Post by pronlover723 »

irjustin wrote: post #8

Wow Will was such a part of my childhood watching Star Trek. Obviously, he didn't appear often but he was memorable simply because there were so few people as young as him on the show. Sad to hear this all around. This also brought back memories of me being required to play piano growing up. I hated piano, performing (recitals), playing in general. I was terrrribbleee (still am) and was put up in lessons for 12 years…

There are tons of adults that are thankful their parents forced them to learn something (a second language, a musical instrument, ...). There are also tons of adults forever angry at themselves for complaining to the point their parents let them stop studying whatever "it" was.

I learned Japanese as an adult. I know at least 3 Americans of Japanese descent angry at themselves for complaining to their parents to let them stop extra curricular Japanese classes as children. One was so angry I can't speak an Japanese around him because it just triggers his self loathing over this issue.

I don't have an answer. My dad's side of the family were all professional musicians (though they had other jobs too). My dad never pushed me to play and basically said if I wanted to learn I'd have to push for lessons. Of course I was a kid and just wanted to play video games. I personally wish (or think I wish) they had pushed a little more.

Re: I was forced to be a child star. It was never my dream or my idea

#158

Post by B1FF_PSUVM »

patmcc wrote: post #7

I really wouldn't be surprised if 30/40/50 years from now "child stars" will seem as absurd and barbaric as child labor in general does today. It just seems so terrible and exploitative in so many cases.

If it's on film it's not child labor.

Staggering.

Re: I was forced to be a child star. It was never my dream or my idea

#159

Post by pizza234 »

For those interested, there's a very good documentary on this this topic, Showbiz Kids¹. Will Wheaton is indeed interviewed.

There are some children who genuinely have interest for acting, and some who don't. There's at least one mother (that I remember) displaying the traits of mother who Wheaton describes, and the, more or less subtle, pressure she exerts on the child - children clearly can't handle that, and the situation is bound to make somebody unhappy either way.

¹=https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=92EX29aeEMI

Re: I was forced to be a child star. It was never my dream or my idea

#160

Post by MisterBastahrd »

gjulianm wrote: post #131
silisili wrote: post #119

I feel really conflicted on this one. On the surface, he's right, let kids be kids. But parents almost always overstep their bounds to do what they think is best for their child. We've all heard of Tiger Moms, and parents basically forcing their kids into being a doctor for their own good. When it fails, it fails spectacularly, but it often doesn't fail. Is it wrong that a child was forced into something that gave th…

> but it often doesn't fail. Is it wrong that a child was forced into something that gave them a great life? I've seen it fail more often than not fail. Maybe from the outside the person has a great life but on the inside they're not actually happy. > It just feels weird hearing a millionaire, rather successful, badmouth his parents and throw a pity party because they made him do something he was good at as a child.…

I'd rather be unhappy that I lost a few life experiences as a kid than being unhappy now because I can't pay my rent, I'm living off ramen, and my apartment has bedbugs, but that's just me.
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