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On Aging Alone (2021)

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Re: On Aging Alone (2021)

#141

Post by simonswords82 »

taylorius wrote: post #133

I'll add my own data point into the mix. I'm 49, have been married for 22 years, with kids who are either grown up, or well on their way. Throughout my life though, I have been an absolute loner in spirit. I grew up quite isolated, in the UK countryside, and learned to amuse myself early on. My first love was computers, which luckily has served me fairly well, career-wise. I haven't had many girlfriends, and felt ver…

Hi fellow UK person.

Sounds like you're just about to make a relatively large (perhaps dramatic?) change to your home and work life. Some people would call that a mid-life crisis but I think it's people realising the shortness of life and making sure they don't waste whatever they have left of it.

Hope whatever the outcome it's a net positive :)

Re: On Aging Alone (2021)

#142

Post by Tenoke »

didericis wrote: post #77
kromem wrote: post #50

AI companionships for the elderly is going to be a beyond massive market by the time we're all old. Sometimes we just need people to listen, and in that AI will exceed most humans, who are generally just waiting for their chance to have someone else listen to them. I'm starting to see the initial beginnings of that market, and already the reviews are eye opening. People gushing over how much of a difference a text-ch…

How about we not do that and try to actually cultivate real life communities and families through more leadership, planned activities, persistent encouragement, etc. I'm kind of tired of the commodification of anything and everything. Communities aren't just supposed to be these bureaucratically labelled abstract co-locations of people mediated by a billion different services, you're supposed to actually try to get t…

>How about we not do that and try to actually cultivate real life communities and families through more leadership, planned activities, persistent encouragement, etc.

How about we don't ignore things that can help actual people and leave them worse off just because in theory there are also nicer sounding solutions.

Re: On Aging Alone (2021)

#143

Post by bowsamic »

snvzz wrote: post #126
bowsamic wrote: post #124

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I find it bizarre and unsettling that there is a big group of HN users who seem to be scared of death

SENS isn't about death. It's about undoing aging. For as long as I am alive, I'd rather stay as young and healthy as possible. Wouldn't you?

No not really

Re: On Aging Alone (2021)

#144

Post by hevomad »

taylorius wrote: post #133

I'll add my own data point into the mix. I'm 49, have been married for 22 years, with kids who are either grown up, or well on their way. Throughout my life though, I have been an absolute loner in spirit. I grew up quite isolated, in the UK countryside, and learned to amuse myself early on. My first love was computers, which luckily has served me fairly well, career-wise. I haven't had many girlfriends, and felt ver…

No post body was provided.

Re: On Aging Alone (2021)

#145

Post by supernova87a »

echlebek wrote: post #82
Gigachad wrote: post #69

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Listen to yourself. When you start talking about the signal to noise ratio and calculating the return on investment of social interactions, its time to step away from the keyboard and reevaluate your life. Your brain has been fried by hustle culture.

Wise words, Gigachad.

This is too funny.

Re: On Aging Alone (2021)

#146

Post by quickthrower2 »

ALittleLight wrote: post #135
quickthrower2 wrote: post #66

Earlier quoted context omitted.

A supportive friend that is selling your data via Zuck and co.

How much does that matter? Like, if you had to choose between being old and lonely or being old with a digital friend and some megacorp having more of your data... Which would you choose? I notice a lot of people who use the phrase "selling your data" seem to think that you can't actually sell your data. As in, it's not a good choice to say "I want this service and am willing to share my data to get it."

You may be underestimating the power of a $500bn corporation (small nation scale) with access to personal secrets of millions as machine learning gets ever more powerful, the same corporation who is trying to be the arbiter of everyones friendships. A corporation that lives in a regulatory capture environment. It is black mirror at that stage, just without the more interesting stories they have on that series.

But like anything your individual opt in doesn’t matter, similar to how your vote probably doesn’t make a difference. In aggregate it does.

Companies like Facebook and Google can provide the government agencies unfettered access to anyones information, and pedos and terrorists etc. will be used to justify it. Guess they can now also say “suspected Russian nukes” and tap anyone.

Re: On Aging Alone (2021)

#147

Post by jakzurr »

qgin wrote: post #91

Loving families are easy to idealize from afar. How many families actually fit that profile? I’m not entirely sure. This is not a jaded attempt to say the pursuit of relationships or family aren’t worthwhile. I just want to set some context here for those feeling lonely, for those who feel like they are standing outside in the cold on the street looking through windows into warm living rooms full of people with warm…

I'm in my 60's. Wasn't going to retire yet, but covid changed my mind. It seemed easier & safer. (Finances not so easy, but oh well.)

Parents gone a while now. Three siblings still living; all married; 2 nephews. Whole family seems a bit strange to me, but wouldn't trade them for anything. Maybe I'm the strange one. ;) Only a handful of real friends, maybe half are gone now, but got a couple new ones in their 30's. Only known a couple of women in my life, but I might try that again. Nothing seems so urgent any more.

Been "mostly alone" all my life, only realized 10-20 years ago that I've never really felt "lonely". Seems like there's so many fun things to work on or play at, just a few people in your life can go a really long ways. Is my family ideal? Well, works for me.

LOL, been lurking for years - I didn't really understand the article that well, but I enjoyed the comments so much I had to create an acct to say thanks HN.

Re: On Aging Alone (2021)

#148

Post by pfortuny »

true_religion wrote: post #131
throwaway892238 wrote: post #95

Do not try to fight loneliness. It is a natural part of life, like thunderstorms. You can try to tease it apart, understand how it works, where it comes from, try to predict it, come up with coping mechanisms. But the storms still come regardless. They are here for a reason, with their appropriate place in a natural system. But we don't need to understand the reason to accept it. Acknowledge the feeling, sit with it…

Can you please help me differentiate between coping and fighting a condition?

When you fight something it means you try to eliminate it. Coping means accepting its existence and being peaceful about it. However, you CAN fight and cope, and you can fight and not cope.

The aim should not be the elimination, the aim should be inner peace.

That is why I despise the setting of “overcoming cancer” as a fight and presenting survivors as “fighters”. What do I care? I prefer peace to health. Because I only want to be healthy as a means for “easier” peace.

Re: On Aging Alone (2021)

#149

Post by pfortuny »

enw wrote: post #84
nazgulnarsil wrote: post #73

Focus on what you can do for others, not what others can do for you. Activities will gradually lose their luster as you age, if you are focused on what you get from them. In Buddhist terms: cultivate mudita, sympathetic joy in the joys of others. It is nigh impossible to make yourself happy, yet seemingly trivial to make others happy, if you are keeping an eye out for the opportunity.

Also Christianity, where self-seeking is one of the worst things you can strive for.

That is a wrong view of Christianity (one of the most important things a Christian needs to do is self-examination).

Or do you mean pride?

One cannot be charitable if one does not know his or her own defects and virtues. And this is a lifelong exercise.

Re: On Aging Alone (2021)

#150

Post by eska »

throwaway892238 wrote: post #95

Do not try to fight loneliness. It is a natural part of life, like thunderstorms. You can try to tease it apart, understand how it works, where it comes from, try to predict it, come up with coping mechanisms. But the storms still come regardless. They are here for a reason, with their appropriate place in a natural system. But we don't need to understand the reason to accept it. Acknowledge the feeling, sit with it…

Isn’t coping associated with denial? An IMO better term is acceptance (of things that are outside one’s control).
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