131–140 of 338 posts
Do not try to fight loneliness. It is a natural part of life, like thunderstorms. You can try to tease it apart, understand how it works, where it comes from, try to predict it, come up with coping mechanisms. But the storms still come regardless. They are here for a reason, with their appropriate place in a natural system. But we don't need to understand the reason to accept it. Acknowledge the feeling, sit with it…
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> indian subcontinent where multi-generational families mean you're never really alone. It's changing fast, especially in big cities. Families are becoming more nuclear. Its still much better than western countries though.
Is it better? I know someone from one of those cultures who says he will never move out until his parents die, there is no independence
Most western people don't think like this any more, but it used to be understood and accepted that belonging to a family or community is rewarding, but it comes with duties and obligations—often life-long. You can't have one without the other.
Still, we've persevered, and made it work for 22 years. But I will soon be 50, and have chosen to view this round number as significant. I would like to start living life as I would like it, both career and relationship wise, and am currently trying to plan out what shape that might take. The stories and information in the comments here, are truly fascinating to me, the breadth of ideas being mentioned are a real breath of fresh air, and a great example of what makes Hacker News great (in my view), so thank you everyone.
Loving families are easy to idealize from afar. How many families actually fit that profile? I’m not entirely sure. This is not a jaded attempt to say the pursuit of relationships or family aren’t worthwhile. I just want to set some context here for those feeling lonely, for those who feel like they are standing outside in the cold on the street looking through windows into warm living rooms full of people with warm…
Forming loving families is hard. You might not find the right people immediately, and some people are incredibly destructive towards each other. Everyone is not compatible with everyone else. And it is often less painful to live alone than to live with a destructive family.
That means some families need to be dissolved and reconstituted, others need time to heal. For some people there is not enough time, understanding or strength to grow and form new bonds with others.
That does not mean people should give up and live alone. Anyone who believes they will be happier alone is deluding themselves and/or too scared of the pain of rejection and heartbreak. It's worth it.
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People are skeptical of this but the new AI conversation capabilities are just so good these days and will only get better. At some point it really will be like a supportive friend (albeit with limitations)
A supportive friend that is selling your data via Zuck and co.
I notice a lot of people who use the phrase "selling your data" seem to think that you can't actually sell your data. As in, it's not a good choice to say "I want this service and am willing to share my data to get it."
AI companionships for the elderly is going to be a beyond massive market by the time we're all old. Sometimes we just need people to listen, and in that AI will exceed most humans, who are generally just waiting for their chance to have someone else listen to them. I'm starting to see the initial beginnings of that market, and already the reviews are eye opening. People gushing over how much of a difference a text-ch…
You're talking about machines that pass the turing test. General intelligence. We're not close yet.
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You seem to be applying a cultural slant to this. I'm curious, how does it differ outside of America in your perspective? I agree that part of the problem at least in America, is a mismatch in expectations caused by a media-infused, image-obsessed culture. There is a need to "perform", be larger than life and be interesting. It is incredibly suffocating and makes relationships more transactional than they should be.
Other cultures just don't seem to be as relentlessly status-hungry. Like, I've met homeless people in Colombia with better self-esteem than well-off Americans. Like our visible affluence is eating us alive. Old women in a bunch of Asian countries gather together in public places for some activity or other, often something physically active like ping pong or dancing. America for the most part seems to have lost the co…
That's interesting, can you expand on those Colombian people and why they have such high self-esteem ?
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How about we not do that and try to actually cultivate real life communities and families through more leadership, planned activities, persistent encouragement, etc. I'm kind of tired of the commodification of anything and everything. Communities aren't just supposed to be these bureaucratically labelled abstract co-locations of people mediated by a billion different services, you're supposed to actually try to get t…
Perhaps but I would surmise that the people that would benefit from being in those communities would naturally form irregardless of the distractions of commodified companionship. But that ignores the ones that unwilling or incapable of joining into the communities you describe. Wouldn't this substitution of a human connection be of positive benefit to all involved then?
We've had many decades of psychological and behavioral science now. Instead of using it to get people to click buttons for hours and talk to a screen, maybe we could figure out how to use it to encourage healthier behavior.
Sure, this is the transactional perspective, but good luck finding a non-transactional one.
AI companionships for the elderly is going to be a beyond massive market by the time we're all old. Sometimes we just need people to listen, and in that AI will exceed most humans, who are generally just waiting for their chance to have someone else listen to them. I'm starting to see the initial beginnings of that market, and already the reviews are eye opening. People gushing over how much of a difference a text-ch…
Interesting. It made me think about the difference between VR and AR. AI as augmenting social relations, could that be something, and how could it work?
I love VR/think it's a much better alternative to socializing than text based async communication or video chat, but I don't think it's a good substitute for real world relationships.