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On Aging Alone (2021)

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Re: On Aging Alone (2021)

#71

Post by openknot »

colechristensen wrote: post #49
azemetre wrote: post #24

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Can you explain what you mean by this? It sounds like a contradiction, loneliness is bad but friendship is worse?

Bad friends can be worse than no friends, and a series of bad luck could make a person believe that the only friends are bad ones (alternatively unrealistic expectations could cause this too)

Bad relationships, including friendships, can cause one to adopt poor communication habits (e.g. guilting others or ghosting others), and also have a higher tolerance for negative behavior instead of communicating a boundary.

There is a bit more discussion on this in an old Hacker News thread from February 2020, where several people discuss the serious impact of unhealthy relationships in the quality of one's life: https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=22214066

Re: On Aging Alone (2021)

#72

Post by asiachick »

kromem wrote: post #50

AI companionships for the elderly is going to be a beyond massive market by the time we're all old. Sometimes we just need people to listen, and in that AI will exceed most humans, who are generally just waiting for their chance to have someone else listen to them. I'm starting to see the initial beginnings of that market, and already the reviews are eye opening. People gushing over how much of a difference a text-ch…

As seen in THX 1138

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U0YkPnwoYyE

Re: On Aging Alone (2021)

#73

Post by nazgulnarsil »

Focus on what you can do for others, not what others can do for you. Activities will gradually lose their luster as you age, if you are focused on what you get from them. In Buddhist terms: cultivate mudita, sympathetic joy in the joys of others. It is nigh impossible to make yourself happy, yet seemingly trivial to make others happy, if you are keeping an eye out for the opportunity.

Re: On Aging Alone (2021)

#74

Post by guelo »

kromem wrote: post #50

AI companionships for the elderly is going to be a beyond massive market by the time we're all old. Sometimes we just need people to listen, and in that AI will exceed most humans, who are generally just waiting for their chance to have someone else listen to them. I'm starting to see the initial beginnings of that market, and already the reviews are eye opening. People gushing over how much of a difference a text-ch…

You're talking about machines that pass the turing test. General intelligence. We're not close yet.

Re: On Aging Alone (2021)

#75

Post by walleeee »

wfme wrote: post #44
wly_cdgr wrote: post #18

I am only half the author's age but, in my limited experience, the only thing worse than loneliness is the stifling weight of the impositions and compromises that come with virtually all relationships. The ones that offer enough in return to offset this weight make up the tiniest minority

You are describing transactional relationships, but there are other types of more self perpetuating relationships. Transactional relationships are built on the expectation for reciprocation, so every interaction is performed with the expected outcome in mind. Within a transactional relationship, bonds are broken the moment one of you doesn't hold up your end. For this reason, these relationships tend to be fragile an…

Imposition and compromise need not derive from a transactional relationship model

One can just as well feel compelled to constantly compromise if one's acquaintances don't share one's needs and values, for instance

Re: On Aging Alone (2021)

#76

Post by [deleted] »

kromem wrote: post #50

AI companionships for the elderly is going to be a beyond massive market by the time we're all old. Sometimes we just need people to listen, and in that AI will exceed most humans, who are generally just waiting for their chance to have someone else listen to them. I'm starting to see the initial beginnings of that market, and already the reviews are eye opening. People gushing over how much of a difference a text-ch…

[deleted]

Re: On Aging Alone (2021)

#77

Post by didericis »

kromem wrote: post #50

AI companionships for the elderly is going to be a beyond massive market by the time we're all old. Sometimes we just need people to listen, and in that AI will exceed most humans, who are generally just waiting for their chance to have someone else listen to them. I'm starting to see the initial beginnings of that market, and already the reviews are eye opening. People gushing over how much of a difference a text-ch…

How about we not do that and try to actually cultivate real life communities and families through more leadership, planned activities, persistent encouragement, etc.

I'm kind of tired of the commodification of anything and everything. Communities aren't just supposed to be these bureaucratically labelled abstract co-locations of people mediated by a billion different services, you're supposed to actually try to get to know your neighbors. Learning how to listen, trying to teach how to listen, and being brave enough to do both is incredibly enriching.

With the rise in remote work, that should be easier than ever. Why don't we try to sort ourselves into locations where we have optimal mixes in personalities/interests for solid communities of all ages and put in the work required to understand and relate to each other better.

Re: On Aging Alone (2021)

#78

Post by techer »

nazgulnarsil wrote: post #73

Focus on what you can do for others, not what others can do for you. Activities will gradually lose their luster as you age, if you are focused on what you get from them. In Buddhist terms: cultivate mudita, sympathetic joy in the joys of others. It is nigh impossible to make yourself happy, yet seemingly trivial to make others happy, if you are keeping an eye out for the opportunity.

Confelicity: Pleasure in another's happiness. Antonym: schadenfreude

Re: On Aging Alone (2021)

#79

Post by bpodgursky »

jazzythom wrote: post #10
glatisaint wrote: post #9

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Couldn't you date someone attainable rather than staying single to keep a fantasy alive?

Sound logic but settling isn't my strong suit. Also I very much wanted children

You can absolutely still have children, but you're going to have to settle slightly on aesthetics to find a woman 30-35 who considers you in her league.

(also, just lose some weight, even if you don't get fit. it's an incredible level-up.)

Re: On Aging Alone (2021)

#80

Post by vmception »

throwawayboise wrote: post #65
postalrat wrote: post #62

Earlier quoted context omitted.

You are interacting with users here. What if we were all bots?

I won't be here when I retire.

yeah everyone imagines theyre going to be on some boring tropical island just because the water is shallow and turqoise around the edges instead of scrolling on the same 3 sites and maybe coding something on the side
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