Hacker News Board Hacker News, browsed like a classic message board
Live data from Hacker News

A hacker's loneliness

news.ycombinator.com

Post reply on HN
Print view View original

31–40 of 74 posts

Re: A hacker's loneliness

#31

Post by utx00 »

arjungmenon wrote: post #23
menloparkbum wrote: post #6

"Is this indifference to the world a consequence of too much intercourse with machines that give the appearance of thinking? How were he to fare if one day he has to quit computers and rejoin a civilized society?... The more he has to do with computing, the more it seems to him like chess: a tight little world defined by made-up rules, one that sucks in boys of a certain susceptible temperament and then turns them ha…

It makes me regret when I recall how much of my life I've lost to programming. I spend most of my mid-teens (15,16,17) writing pointless C programs (interpreters, compilers, etc. for pathetic new languages that probably no one except me will use). While my classmates from high school went out dating girls, watching new movies, etc.; I would be sitting in front of my computer palms on forehead fixing hard to find C po…

there are normal people who program for a hobbie ;)

just be moderate.

Re: A hacker's loneliness

#32

Post by kalid »

maximilian wrote: post #27
gizmo wrote: post #22

Earlier quoted context omitted.

For many cheerleaders high school is the high point in their lives. Popularity, likeminded people everywhere and absolutely zero responsibilities. So unless you're very similar to the person who tells you that grad school was the best part of his life, take it with a grain of salt. Maybe you like being responsible, maybe you like to work. The thing is, many people give up on their dreams just after grad school. Compr…

Don't they have research where they track 2 sets of people before and after a traumatic event. One set goes through an extremely negative event (like paralyzed, etc) and one set wins the lottery or something similar. They find that the people, once they returned to steady state after the event, were about as happy as before, independent of their event (positive or negative). I kinda think that people make their situa…

Check out the work by Daniel Kahneman -- I believe he performed or referenced the study you mention. http://www.abc.net.au/rn/allinthemind/stories/2003/923773.ht...

Re: A hacker's loneliness

#33

Post by notdarkyet »

arjungmenon wrote: post #23
menloparkbum wrote: post #6

"Is this indifference to the world a consequence of too much intercourse with machines that give the appearance of thinking? How were he to fare if one day he has to quit computers and rejoin a civilized society?... The more he has to do with computing, the more it seems to him like chess: a tight little world defined by made-up rules, one that sucks in boys of a certain susceptible temperament and then turns them ha…

It makes me regret when I recall how much of my life I've lost to programming. I spend most of my mid-teens (15,16,17) writing pointless C programs (interpreters, compilers, etc. for pathetic new languages that probably no one except me will use). While my classmates from high school went out dating girls, watching new movies, etc.; I would be sitting in front of my computer palms on forehead fixing hard to find C po…

Quitting is a poor idea. Maybe the work is something you love or maybe you are simply using it to occupy your time and create an excuse to avoid the anxiety of social situations. Either way the key is going to be moderation.

My previous roommates in college found it odd that I would spend Monday through Friday alone in my room working or reading, yet on the weekends come out an be completely extroverted. They were almost offended that I didn't want to sit around and watch tv with them during the week. That is somewhat of a sidetrack, but this balancing method allowed my to keep somewhat of an equilibrium with my life.

Take the approach starting tomorrow the same way you would if you were learning a new programming language. It would be insanity and a complete suicide mission to dive into the properties of compilers without even understanding the basic "hello world". You need to take smalls steps and develop your social skills in the same way you would your programming ones.

And by the way, normalcy is overrated.

Re: A hacker's loneliness

#34

Post by jdavid »

arjungmenon wrote: post #23
menloparkbum wrote: post #6

"Is this indifference to the world a consequence of too much intercourse with machines that give the appearance of thinking? How were he to fare if one day he has to quit computers and rejoin a civilized society?... The more he has to do with computing, the more it seems to him like chess: a tight little world defined by made-up rules, one that sucks in boys of a certain susceptible temperament and then turns them ha…

It makes me regret when I recall how much of my life I've lost to programming. I spend most of my mid-teens (15,16,17) writing pointless C programs (interpreters, compilers, etc. for pathetic new languages that probably no one except me will use). While my classmates from high school went out dating girls, watching new movies, etc.; I would be sitting in front of my computer palms on forehead fixing hard to find C po…

arjungmenon, email me i understand were you are comming from, but my advice would be to not worry about the girls.

1. if you are on this site you want to start a company, and i have yet to have a girlfriend that accepts my non traditional lifestyle of starting companies and taking chances.

2. most of the people you meet in life are distractions, i meet some great friends in college and i found them through all sorts of activities,... most of them were creative computer projects.

so enjoy college meet other geeks and you will be just fine.

heck join your local engingeering fraternity

Re: A hacker's loneliness

#35

Post by iamelgringo »

woid wrote: post #8

There is also problem with relationships with some women. I think, most women don't mind you are spending so much time with a computer (as long as you are making good money doing it). But they are jealous they must share the love and attention with something like a computer. That is something unbearable for them. In this case, you as a hacker have to lie that you hate your daily work, your boss is an asshole and you…

I think that it's less a matter of lying about how much you love work and making sure that your woman feels secure in your love. She has to know that she comes first. That is, if you want to keep the relationship.

Re: A hacker's loneliness

#36

Post by jkkramer »

arjungmenon wrote: post #23
menloparkbum wrote: post #6

"Is this indifference to the world a consequence of too much intercourse with machines that give the appearance of thinking? How were he to fare if one day he has to quit computers and rejoin a civilized society?... The more he has to do with computing, the more it seems to him like chess: a tight little world defined by made-up rules, one that sucks in boys of a certain susceptible temperament and then turns them ha…

It makes me regret when I recall how much of my life I've lost to programming. I spend most of my mid-teens (15,16,17) writing pointless C programs (interpreters, compilers, etc. for pathetic new languages that probably no one except me will use). While my classmates from high school went out dating girls, watching new movies, etc.; I would be sitting in front of my computer palms on forehead fixing hard to find C po…

Don't think you have to quit being a geek to be happy or "normal". "Geek" and "normal" are just arbitrary labels.

I spent most of my high school and college years same as you. Then I made a slow, concerted effort to balance out (learned to dance, make friends, talk to girls).

Today I'm still a geek, but reasonably social and "normal" too -- as much as I care to be, anyway. At any given hour I'm a geek, a socialite, an artist, a dope, and so on. People are dynamic, not static; don't limit yourself. Have fun!

Re: A hacker's loneliness

#37

Post by krschultz »

HeyLaughingBoy wrote: post #30
bbb wrote: post #15

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Statements like the above always frustrate me. I'm in school (and have been for a long time). Many people that I respect told me: grad school was the best part in their lives, that I should enjoy my time, and that it only goes downhill afterwards (no more research, family obligations, boring jobs, administration work, etc.). Great. But what if I don't like my situation right now? What if I don't like grad school that…

Yeah I know. People used to say high school was the best part of life and my take was if that was the case, then my life truly sucked :-( Know what though? It wasn't. Neither was college. I truly started to enjoy life after being in the workforce for a few years and realizing that I was unhappy and needed to change my life. In my case change meant taking a new job 1,000 miles away in a place where I knew no-one (coul…

+1 for doing what a lot of people are too afraid to do

Re: A hacker's loneliness

#38

Post by yters »

Would it be different if hackers had the prestige of, say, a celebrity?

From what I understand, most super successful people work horribly long hours, but I suspect the feeling of fulfillment is also based on the social prestige of what they do. Computing is so ubiquitous (and also the cause of lots of frustration for some people) that those who drive the field don't get the recognition they deserve. Maybe the whole startup culture will change this, since the risk and self determination gives it more of a romantic flair.

At any rate, quitting, or even moderation, may not truly solve things if a person has a very deep love for their work. I think this adds a morally noble element to being a hacker startup-founder: it helps the whole field realize their true sense of self worth.

Re: A hacker's loneliness

#39

Post by ynd »

mroman wrote: post #7

With time, I have felt that loneliness, yet, after a couple of hours of being around people, I can't help but think about the work I could be doing, the wonders I could be exploring.

I feel the same. But I started to change my ways so I don't become too isolated.

Re: A hacker's loneliness

#40

Post by mroman »

ynd wrote: post #39
mroman wrote: post #7

With time, I have felt that loneliness, yet, after a couple of hours of being around people, I can't help but think about the work I could be doing, the wonders I could be exploring.

I feel the same. But I started to change my ways so I don't become too isolated.

I hear you. I have done the same for a couple of months at a time, and the interesting thing was that it happened spontaneously - it wasn't a conscious decision.

I do think that isolation partly exists within a person's mind, as I have felt isolated when surrounded by a roomful of people.

It's a part of our condition, a challenge that we must deal with successfully in order to hack on . . .

Post reply on HN