A hacker's loneliness • Hacker News Board

Re: A hacker's loneliness

#21

Post by krschultz » Thu, Sep 25, 2008, 1:15 AM UTC

bbb wrote: post #15

kolya3 wrote: post #13

Earlier quoted context omitted.

School is THE place to meet new people. In fact, enjoy the variety of people you meet at school now. It's harder to meet interesting people later on, after you are out of school. Most people are content with discussing what they saw on TV last night and what their lunch companion has on their plate. "Is that pesto?" Enjoy your school years :)

Statements like the above always frustrate me. I'm in school (and have been for a long time). Many people that I respect told me: grad school was the best part in their lives, that I should enjoy my time, and that it only goes downhill afterwards (no more research, family obligations, boring jobs, administration work, etc.). Great. But what if I don't like my situation right now? What if I don't like grad school that…

Then it's your fault. Who's responsibility is it to put you in the situation where you are happy?

People stuck in a job they don't like because it pays enough to support there family have a reason to complain. You have no obligations but to yourself. If you think that you have obligations and try to use that as an excuse for why you are unhappy you are fooling yourself.

Find a different program, find a new hobby, meet a girl, start a company.

Being gloomy and getting angry that others are happy won't make you happy.

Re: A hacker's loneliness

#22

Post by gizmo » Thu, Sep 25, 2008, 1:21 AM UTC

bbb wrote: post #15

kolya3 wrote: post #13

Earlier quoted context omitted.

School is THE place to meet new people. In fact, enjoy the variety of people you meet at school now. It's harder to meet interesting people later on, after you are out of school. Most people are content with discussing what they saw on TV last night and what their lunch companion has on their plate. "Is that pesto?" Enjoy your school years :)

Statements like the above always frustrate me. I'm in school (and have been for a long time). Many people that I respect told me: grad school was the best part in their lives, that I should enjoy my time, and that it only goes downhill afterwards (no more research, family obligations, boring jobs, administration work, etc.). Great. But what if I don't like my situation right now? What if I don't like grad school that…

For many cheerleaders high school is the high point in their lives. Popularity, likeminded people everywhere and absolutely zero responsibilities.

So unless you're very similar to the person who tells you that grad school was the best part of his life, take it with a grain of salt. Maybe you like being responsible, maybe you like to work.

The thing is, many people give up on their dreams just after grad school. Compromise suddenly trumps all.

(And maybe you're just chronically unhappy person. Unhappy no matter what happens. Unhappy for no describable reason. Food for thought, huh?)

Re: A hacker's loneliness

#23

Post by arjungmenon » Thu, Sep 25, 2008, 1:26 AM UTC

menloparkbum wrote: post #6

"Is this indifference to the world a consequence of too much intercourse with machines that give the appearance of thinking? How were he to fare if one day he has to quit computers and rejoin a civilized society?... The more he has to do with computing, the more it seems to him like chess: a tight little world defined by made-up rules, one that sucks in boys of a certain susceptible temperament and then turns them ha…

It makes me regret when I recall how much of my life I've lost to programming.

I spend most of my mid-teens (15,16,17) writing pointless C programs (interpreters, compilers, etc. for pathetic new languages that probably no one except me will use).

While my classmates from high school went out dating girls, watching new movies, etc.; I would be sitting in front of my computer palms on forehead fixing hard to find C pointer bugs.

The only person I could have a decent conversation with was my CS teacher. In the end it was only after coming to college I realized how much I had lost.

I barely had any communication skills, absolutely zero sexual experience (haven't even walked holding hands with a female - even today) and the reputation of being a geek. And you know what? I realized I wasn't a happy person anymore.

I think this kind of a life is seriously screwed. Very soon (been trying) I'm gonna totally quit "being geek" (programming for a hobby, etc.) and try to be normal like everyone else.

Re: A hacker's loneliness

#24

Post by maximilian » Thu, Sep 25, 2008, 1:30 AM UTC

arjungmenon wrote: post #23

menloparkbum wrote: post #6

"Is this indifference to the world a consequence of too much intercourse with machines that give the appearance of thinking? How were he to fare if one day he has to quit computers and rejoin a civilized society?... The more he has to do with computing, the more it seems to him like chess: a tight little world defined by made-up rules, one that sucks in boys of a certain susceptible temperament and then turns them ha…

It makes me regret when I recall how much of my life I've lost to programming. I spend most of my mid-teens (15,16,17) writing pointless C programs (interpreters, compilers, etc. for pathetic new languages that probably no one except me will use). While my classmates from high school went out dating girls, watching new movies, etc.; I would be sitting in front of my computer palms on forehead fixing hard to find C po…

Try to pick up some sports. Its generally a good way to meet people in a casual way. You get in shape as a plus.

Re: A hacker's loneliness

#25

Post by [deleted] » Thu, Sep 25, 2008, 1:35 AM UTC

arjungmenon wrote: post #23

menloparkbum wrote: post #6

"Is this indifference to the world a consequence of too much intercourse with machines that give the appearance of thinking? How were he to fare if one day he has to quit computers and rejoin a civilized society?... The more he has to do with computing, the more it seems to him like chess: a tight little world defined by made-up rules, one that sucks in boys of a certain susceptible temperament and then turns them ha…

It makes me regret when I recall how much of my life I've lost to programming. I spend most of my mid-teens (15,16,17) writing pointless C programs (interpreters, compilers, etc. for pathetic new languages that probably no one except me will use). While my classmates from high school went out dating girls, watching new movies, etc.; I would be sitting in front of my computer palms on forehead fixing hard to find C po…

[deleted]

Re: A hacker's loneliness

#26

Post by maximilian » Thu, Sep 25, 2008, 1:36 AM UTC

bbb wrote: post #15

kolya3 wrote: post #13

Earlier quoted context omitted.

School is THE place to meet new people. In fact, enjoy the variety of people you meet at school now. It's harder to meet interesting people later on, after you are out of school. Most people are content with discussing what they saw on TV last night and what their lunch companion has on their plate. "Is that pesto?" Enjoy your school years :)

Statements like the above always frustrate me. I'm in school (and have been for a long time). Many people that I respect told me: grad school was the best part in their lives, that I should enjoy my time, and that it only goes downhill afterwards (no more research, family obligations, boring jobs, administration work, etc.). Great. But what if I don't like my situation right now? What if I don't like grad school that…

Where you go to grad school (or undergrad) has a LOT to do with it. And some luck as well - Your dept might not have anybody you want to be friends with. But two years down the road might change everything.

That said, for me, I've met the most people at school mostly because I find myself surrounded by people who I can identify with. Its easy to make friends in a group of people who are like you, but if you don't feel like you fit in a group of grad students, its hard to make friends...

Re: A hacker's loneliness

#27

Post by maximilian » Thu, Sep 25, 2008, 1:41 AM UTC

gizmo wrote: post #22

bbb wrote: post #15

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Statements like the above always frustrate me. I'm in school (and have been for a long time). Many people that I respect told me: grad school was the best part in their lives, that I should enjoy my time, and that it only goes downhill afterwards (no more research, family obligations, boring jobs, administration work, etc.). Great. But what if I don't like my situation right now? What if I don't like grad school that…

For many cheerleaders high school is the high point in their lives. Popularity, likeminded people everywhere and absolutely zero responsibilities. So unless you're very similar to the person who tells you that grad school was the best part of his life, take it with a grain of salt. Maybe you like being responsible, maybe you like to work. The thing is, many people give up on their dreams just after grad school. Compr…

Don't they have research where they track 2 sets of people before and after a traumatic event. One set goes through an extremely negative event (like paralyzed, etc) and one set wins the lottery or something similar. They find that the people, once they returned to steady state after the event, were about as happy as before, independent of their event (positive or negative). I kinda think that people make their situation into the way they are, and its independent of the situation.

Re: A hacker's loneliness

#28

Post by iamelgringo » Thu, Sep 25, 2008, 1:46 AM UTC

fgimenez wrote: post #17

This is sad, I feel this way while doing a CS degree at Berkeley and working in front of a computer for UCSF in my spare time. Instead of just complaining and racking up karma, I propose we meet up at a bar in the city (San Francisco to you non-bay area residents). Who's with me to get drunk and tell nerdy jokes on Saturday night? I'm totally not kidding. If you need an excuse, call it networking. If you don't, call…

A group of us do this on a pretty regular basis at Hackers and Founders: http://entrepreneur.meetup.com/1737/ We're getting together Next Wednesday.

Re: A hacker's loneliness

#29

Post by truebosko » Thu, Sep 25, 2008, 1:46 AM UTC

bufferout wrote: post #16

Moderation. If you let any one thing consume all of your time then you're missing out on all the beauty and diversity the world and life can offer. Feed your brain new experiences and it will reward you.

This is key.

Apart from hacking away at the computer (I also do it for 8 hours a day at work), I cook daily dinners/breakfast as a hobby, I spend lots of time with my girlfriend (easier when you live together) and I try to generally disconnect from the computer for a few hours a day wether it be right after work or later at night

Some nights I won't even go near the PC except to turn on a movie, and some nights I will come home and work all night on the computer. It varies

As bufferout said, Moderation :)

Re: A hacker's loneliness

#30

Post by HeyLaughingBoy » Thu, Sep 25, 2008, 1:47 AM UTC

bbb wrote: post #15

kolya3 wrote: post #13

Earlier quoted context omitted.

School is THE place to meet new people. In fact, enjoy the variety of people you meet at school now. It's harder to meet interesting people later on, after you are out of school. Most people are content with discussing what they saw on TV last night and what their lunch companion has on their plate. "Is that pesto?" Enjoy your school years :)

Statements like the above always frustrate me. I'm in school (and have been for a long time). Many people that I respect told me: grad school was the best part in their lives, that I should enjoy my time, and that it only goes downhill afterwards (no more research, family obligations, boring jobs, administration work, etc.). Great. But what if I don't like my situation right now? What if I don't like grad school that…

Yeah I know. People used to say high school was the best part of life and my take was if that was the case, then my life truly sucked :-(

Know what though? It wasn't. Neither was college. I truly started to enjoy life after being in the workforce for a few years and realizing that I was unhappy and needed to change my life. In my case change meant taking a new job 1,000 miles away in a place where I knew no-one (could make a totally clean restart), meeting a fantastic bohemian female friend who encouraged me to go out and meet other women and report back (nothing better than a woman who helps you meet other women :-), and who helped me discover the person I truly am.

My life may not be perfect, but I have learned that only I control my happiness and that making excuses for unhappiness is a waste of the short time we have on this planet.