341–350 of 486 posts
Consider the following scenario: You're pleased and content one minute, thinking your life is going fine the next. You have a few minutes to kill, so you log onto Facebook and begin scrolling... First, you notice a friend's post stating that she has accepted her ideal job. Then you read a coworker's too political rant. You continue browsing and see a video of your neighbour enjoying a fantastic tropical vacation. And…
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Depends on the news source. There is a noticeable difference between Tweets and unverified Facebook posts, news media from Buzzfeed or Salon, articles from a local newspaper, articles from The New York Times/Washington Post, and articles from the Financial Times or The Wall Street Journal. Not all news is designed for outrage. Several publications publish in-depth articles in a neutral way, where you can actually lea…
I don't agree that it depends on the news source. The problem is consuming media and not acting on it. A person can use social media to inspire real positive change in their behaviors and their life, and a person can read in-depth, well-written articles about atrocities happening half-way around the world and just end up feeling powerless and depressed.
News also provides common conversational topics with different types of people. A lot of people in business read The Wall Street Journal, and it’s easier to find common talking points with them if I read the news (especially on news about their industry). Similarly, a lot of academics and people in education read The New York Times. Though reading the news isn’t necessary to start a conversation, it’s often an easy starting point.
I’ve been off of social media for about two years, and I haven’t looked back. But, I’ve realized that it’s been harder to stay in touch with people. I think the answer is that personal newsletters will make a comeback. Even digital minimalists like Cal Newport have one! Without viral dynamics or an algorithmic feed, a good email seems to be the calmest way to stay in touch. I’ve played around with tools like Substack…
I would consider this place to be a social media site.
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If other people find their ideal job, have a tropical vacation, etc. it makes me feel... good? Those are good things in general, although the tropical vacation might make me also feel concerned about the climate. The problems I have with social media are that - it steals a lot of time - a lot of content gets me by evoking negative emotion - it's taxing to get exposed to so many different ideas, clips, heated discussi…
Thought experiment - let's say you are the poorest person in your neighborhood. Would talking to your neighbors daily about their salaries really make you feel better? I mean them having money, even if more than you is a good thing according to you what you said.
I know I never have. I never understood why people get so worked up about that sort of thing honestly. It never bothered me if someone wanted to date my ex, or if they had some sudden windfall, or are doing well.
But I see some people feel this intensely! I'm sympathetic, IMO, they don't choose to feel that way. But it's funny to me, if I were to walk down the street and see two people, and give each of them $5, it would be all smiles. But for a certain percentage of people, if I gave the person on the left $5 and the person on the right $100, they'd feel worse than when they had no money!
I took a break from social media for a year; it was excellent. Briefly after my return, I found out an extended family member passed away. Nobody would have told me otherwise. People will assume you're on there and in-the-loop even if you aren't. It's hard to navigate any social environment where that's an implicit given of others.
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One could be “happy”* for a friend and also feel shitty about themself. “Damn. Matthew has changed jobs 3 times in the past 5 years already, each time to a better paying job. Look at you. You’re still stuck in this shitty job because you suck.” This is literally the kind of thought I have had in the past. [*] Are you “happy” in a polite way? Or are you genuinely happy?
Genuinely happy, of course! I want to see my friends and family succeed in life and enjoy it. I don't feel like a lesser person in any way, I feel proud of them.
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I feel content with my life and I'm genuinely happy when my friends accomplish something. I can't remember when I was seriously envious last time. Sometimes, there may be a moment when I feel slight envy, but then I realize that they decided to put effort into that, and I put my effort into something else. Time is limited. Everyone has problems; ups and downs. I've mostly quit social media because the majority of act…
Hacker News is social media
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Most of us commenting here live in competitive, capitalistic societies and a lot of our sense of self worth and self esteem comes from comparison (mostly comparing to our friends, colleagues and siblings) - and the metrics as we all know are stuff like career/money and other social status metrics. Feelings of envy are completely involuntary btw so there is no need to pretend like feeling them or not feeling is some k…
While feelings may be involuntary, this does not mean we are beholden to them. Maybe envy is what happens when a consciousness is discontent and allows these feelings to overpower.
So it's just a feeling. What you do with it (actions) is up to you, most people don't act upon those feelings in any noticeable way.
But if we are being honest with ourselves constant feelings of envy often do lead to a deteriorating relationship (usually in the form of the person feeling envious choosing to distance himself from whomever he's feeling envious of), simply for the fact that feeling envious feels like crap - and when you are feeling envious of a person you actually care about it feels double crap (you feel envious and guilty at the same time).
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Thought experiment - let's say you are the poorest person in your neighborhood. Would talking to your neighbors daily about their salaries really make you feel better? I mean them having money, even if more than you is a good thing according to you what you said.
Just FYI, Not everyone feels jealousy like you're suggesting here. I know I never have. I never understood why people get so worked up about that sort of thing honestly. It never bothered me if someone wanted to date my ex, or if they had some sudden windfall, or are doing well. But I see some people feel this intensely! I'm sympathetic, IMO, they don't choose to feel that way. But it's funny to me, if I were to walk…
Moreover - how do you know you won't experience it in the future? Have you ever been unemployed for 4 years? Maybe being unemployed for 4 years would make you envious of a friend who just got a job in Google. Have you ever been with a woman you loved dearly only to find out she cheated on you and left you for another man? Maybe going through this traumatic experience would make you envious.
I'm just saying it's easy to be content when things are going well, indeed I don't feel much envy - but I'm super aware I am quite lucky. If things stop going well who knows what negative emotions would pop up - it won't be a picnic thats for sure.