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Taking a break from social media makes you happier and less anxious

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Re: Taking a break from social media makes you happier and less anxious

#261

Post by bmj »

id wrote: post #168
charstacker wrote: post #149

Consider the following scenario: You're pleased and content one minute, thinking your life is going fine the next. You have a few minutes to kill, so you log onto Facebook and begin scrolling... First, you notice a friend's post stating that she has accepted her ideal job. Then you read a coworker's too political rant. You continue browsing and see a video of your neighbour enjoying a fantastic tropical vacation. And…

If other people find their ideal job, have a tropical vacation, etc. it makes me feel... good? Those are good things in general, although the tropical vacation might make me also feel concerned about the climate. The problems I have with social media are that - it steals a lot of time - a lot of content gets me by evoking negative emotion - it's taxing to get exposed to so many different ideas, clips, heated discussi…

There's an essay[0] in the latest edition of The New Atlantis titled "Reading Ourselves to Death," and the premise is that our brains are really not currently wired in such a way to take in so much information via text.

I think you are correct -- that we should feel good about a friend's vacation, or ideal job. However, in real life, we are exposed to those things in a much more limited way: you meet a friend for coffee and they show you photos of their trip, or a good friend calls to share their joy at the new job. Yes, absolutely, emotionally healthy humans should feel good about that. However, social media skews the equation, heavily. First, EVERYONE on your feed is posting how great their lives are, and, second, how many of those great lives are carefully curated for public consumption? When you are doing life with other people, yes, you share the joys and moments for celebration, but you likely also share the hard times that don't make it to social media. It really helps to know other people experience the same sorts of disappointment and pain that you do.

[0] https://www.thenewatlantis.com/publications/reading-ourselve... (might be paywalled)

Re: Taking a break from social media makes you happier and less anxious

#262

Post by SyzygistSix »

ycombinete wrote: post #197
eafkuor wrote: post #181

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> If other people find their ideal job, have a tropical vacation, etc. it makes me feel... good? Those are good things in general, although the tropical vacation might make me also feel concerned about the climate. If this would be your genuine reaction, congratulations. You belong to the 0.001% of the population that would feel this way.

I once heard someone say, "nothing in life hurts more than the success of a friend"

That is a truly warped mindset.

Re: Taking a break from social media makes you happier and less anxious

#263

Post by SyzygistSix »

coldtea wrote: post #203
id wrote: post #168

Earlier quoted context omitted.

If other people find their ideal job, have a tropical vacation, etc. it makes me feel... good? Those are good things in general, although the tropical vacation might make me also feel concerned about the climate. The problems I have with social media are that - it steals a lot of time - a lot of content gets me by evoking negative emotion - it's taxing to get exposed to so many different ideas, clips, heated discussi…

> If other people find their ideal job, have a tropical vacation, etc. it makes me feel... good? As if regular people don't compare themselves with others and just enjoy the success of everybody, without considering if they are falling behind or not?

The healthy spin on that is seeing possibilities for making progress towards one's own goals. Someone losing weight or getting fit/getting a new cert, etc makes me think "I can do that!"

Re: Taking a break from social media makes you happier and less anxious

#264

Post by lr4444lr »

alickz wrote: post #255
lr4444lr wrote: post #217

Hot take: I read what other people sre doing on HN and I feel like I'm an utterly mediocre dev who's just pushing features at work to make someone rich, and I can't do much about it because I have a family relying on my income.

You're not alone. Also when I see US dev salaries posted I feel like as a European I'm missing out big time.

On that latter point though, go look at a US metro region specific tax calculator for those salaries, then subtract an extra $200 a month (or $500 for families) for health insurance premiums, and look at average rent in those areas too. The differential is still there, but less than you probably thought.

Re: Taking a break from social media makes you happier and less anxious

#267

Post by grapeskin »

k_sze wrote: post #201
laputan_machine wrote: post #187

Earlier quoted context omitted.

If a friend gets a great job or starts to live a healthy life you don't feel great for them? I don't believe that puts me in the minority of people, not a chance.

One could be “happy”* for a friend and also feel shitty about themself. “Damn. Matthew has changed jobs 3 times in the past 5 years already, each time to a better paying job. Look at you. You’re still stuck in this shitty job because you suck.” This is literally the kind of thought I have had in the past. [*] Are you “happy” in a polite way? Or are you genuinely happy?

I had that feeling. It pushed me to move to something better recently after stagnating for years.

It’s an ambivalent feeling. I was definitely stressed for months thinking about how much worse my life is as a consequence of comparing myself to someone else. But at the same time, I’ve lifted myself up to a higher standard since that stress turned into motivation. That friend who I felt envious of is also happy for my success, and I’m also happy for his.

Re: Taking a break from social media makes you happier and less anxious

#270

Post by tappio »

eafkuor wrote: post #181
id wrote: post #168

Earlier quoted context omitted.

If other people find their ideal job, have a tropical vacation, etc. it makes me feel... good? Those are good things in general, although the tropical vacation might make me also feel concerned about the climate. The problems I have with social media are that - it steals a lot of time - a lot of content gets me by evoking negative emotion - it's taxing to get exposed to so many different ideas, clips, heated discussi…

> If other people find their ideal job, have a tropical vacation, etc. it makes me feel... good? Those are good things in general, although the tropical vacation might make me also feel concerned about the climate. If this would be your genuine reaction, congratulations. You belong to the 0.001% of the population that would feel this way.

I feel content with my life and I'm genuinely happy when my friends accomplish something. I can't remember when I was seriously envious last time. Sometimes, there may be a moment when I feel slight envy, but then I realize that they decided to put effort into that, and I put my effort into something else. Time is limited. Everyone has problems; ups and downs.

I've mostly quit social media because the majority of active people are not interesting, it's full of ad-garbage and heated up debates about dis-interesting topics.

I guess I'm also in the 0.0001%. Though, I do think it's much higher than that. The dissatisfied people are just the most vocal.

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