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Taking a break from social media makes you happier and less anxious

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Re: Taking a break from social media makes you happier and less anxious

#251

Post by sean_the_geek »

laputan_machine wrote: post #213
k_sze wrote: post #201

Earlier quoted context omitted.

One could be “happy”* for a friend and also feel shitty about themself. “Damn. Matthew has changed jobs 3 times in the past 5 years already, each time to a better paying job. Look at you. You’re still stuck in this shitty job because you suck.” This is literally the kind of thought I have had in the past. [*] Are you “happy” in a polite way? Or are you genuinely happy?

Genuinely happy, of course! I want to see my friends and family succeed in life and enjoy it. I don't feel like a lesser person in any way, I feel proud of them.

If you feel truly happy about someone else but at the same time not let it reflect on you, then I would say you are minority. The first part of my sentence is achievable and is genuinely positive , at least in a way. The second part - not letting it reflect on you - is IMO most people struggle.

Re: Taking a break from social media makes you happier and less anxious

#252

Post by alickz »

emteycz wrote: post #202
tdudzik wrote: post #199

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I think you can feel great for them and bad for yourself at the same time

But why would I? It's not like they took something from me. I am the lord of my destiny. And how is it in any way different from the same people telling me this stuff at a pub? I don't think social media has anything to do with this.

>But why would I? It's not like they took something from me. I am the lord of my destiny.

Envy. You can be genuinely happy for them, but then be sad that your life isn't going as well. I think this compounded by the idea that a lot of people don't feel like the lords of their destiny, more leaves in a river unable to fight the currents.

Which of course adds to the stress of "Why can't I be better and more like [friend]?". Which may or may not lead to productive self-reflection (more likely not in my experience)

>And how is it in any way different from the same people telling me this stuff at a pub? I don't think social media has anything to do with this.

Scale, I would imagine. If it was one or two friends I think it's easier to rationalise, but when you see friends-of-friends and celebrities "living their best life", every day, while you struggle to keep your head above water, it takes a toll.

Re: Taking a break from social media makes you happier and less anxious

#254

Post by laputan_machine »

johnnymorgan wrote: post #248
laputan_machine wrote: post #213

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Genuinely happy, of course! I want to see my friends and family succeed in life and enjoy it. I don't feel like a lesser person in any way, I feel proud of them.

You've never felt Envy towards someone? I kind of find that hard to believe. that was all OP was referring too and it's well documented. Honestly you come off as dishonest in this convo as it's quiet a normal emotion to feel and it's not negative per say, it can lead to negative actions but can also push people to do better. "It doesn't matter if the slight is real or not, its the perception of the person that matter…

I've never felt envy towards my friends and family. No, never. I find it bizarre that you do.

I never said I don't feel envy. You jumped to conclusions based on a very little sentence I wrote.

I currently have a very severe skin condition, and I live in a country with 'free' healthcare. I am envious that some people get medical treatment for it and can live a normal life again and some people do not (such as myself).

I don't give a shit if you think I'm dishonest, you do not know me.

Re: Taking a break from social media makes you happier and less anxious

#255

Post by alickz »

lr4444lr wrote: post #217

Hot take: I read what other people sre doing on HN and I feel like I'm an utterly mediocre dev who's just pushing features at work to make someone rich, and I can't do much about it because I have a family relying on my income.

You're not alone.

Also when I see US dev salaries posted I feel like as a European I'm missing out big time.

Re: Taking a break from social media makes you happier and less anxious

#256

Post by conjectures »

laputan_machine wrote: post #187
eafkuor wrote: post #181

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> If other people find their ideal job, have a tropical vacation, etc. it makes me feel... good? Those are good things in general, although the tropical vacation might make me also feel concerned about the climate. If this would be your genuine reaction, congratulations. You belong to the 0.001% of the population that would feel this way.

If a friend gets a great job or starts to live a healthy life you don't feel great for them? I don't believe that puts me in the minority of people, not a chance.

Yeah, tbh 'friends' are people for whom, when good stuff happens to them I feel happy about that.

Re: Taking a break from social media makes you happier and less anxious

#257

Post by conz »

2sk21 wrote: post #193
MezzoDelCammin wrote: post #178

Is HN considered "social media"? Because in many ways (at least for me), there's a resemblance - the never disappearing timeline, the comments that sometimes show the trenches of the good old culture wars... It's definitely no Facebook. I guess HN (or HN admins, to be precise) is doing a better job at limiting the disagreements from "Petersburg troll-farm vitriol" to "occasionally sarcastic". But the social media eff…

HN mostly reminds me of the Usenet of the late 1980s - which was in a way the social media of its time.

> HN mostly reminds me of the Usenet of the late 1980s - which was in a way the social media of its time.

In terms of signal-to-noise ratio and the content focus, you're right. HN is the closest thing to the 80s Usenet community that I've found on the Internet of the current day.

However, Usenet was never social media. You didn't connect with people like you do on social media and 'follow' them. On Usenet you joined discussion fora, which sometimes included the same people across multiple fora, so you would get a sense of the poster and their calibre and quality.

Re: Taking a break from social media makes you happier and less anxious

#258

Post by conz »

MezzoDelCammin wrote: post #245
2sk21 wrote: post #193

Earlier quoted context omitted.

HN mostly reminds me of the Usenet of the late 1980s - which was in a way the social media of its time.

I haven't been on Usenet in the 80's (coming from the other side of the Iron Curtain, my own IT history basically starts in the 90's, first internet access around 1995-98). Did Usenet not require any moderation? Or was it simply the barrier for entry that made people behave like the access was a scarce resource? Or what do You think made the period so unique?

> Did Usenet not require any moderation? Or was it simply the barrier for entry that made people behave like the access was a scarce resource? Or what do You think made the period so unique?

Usenet didn't (in general, IIRC) have centralised moderation. Usenet had the famous killfiles, which you maintained and which elided the posts of people you found to be a nuisance.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kill_file

Re: Taking a break from social media makes you happier and less anxious

#259

Post by SyzygistSix »

k_sze wrote: post #201
laputan_machine wrote: post #187

Earlier quoted context omitted.

If a friend gets a great job or starts to live a healthy life you don't feel great for them? I don't believe that puts me in the minority of people, not a chance.

One could be “happy”* for a friend and also feel shitty about themself. “Damn. Matthew has changed jobs 3 times in the past 5 years already, each time to a better paying job. Look at you. You’re still stuck in this shitty job because you suck.” This is literally the kind of thought I have had in the past. [*] Are you “happy” in a polite way? Or are you genuinely happy?

That invokes the possibility for a better future for me as well. "Oh cool, a strategy that I can perhaps use to improve my life."

Re: Taking a break from social media makes you happier and less anxious

#260

Post by funcDropShadow »

nonrandomstring wrote: post #235
id wrote: post #168

Earlier quoted context omitted.

If other people find their ideal job, have a tropical vacation, etc. it makes me feel... good? Those are good things in general, although the tropical vacation might make me also feel concerned about the climate. The problems I have with social media are that - it steals a lot of time - a lot of content gets me by evoking negative emotion - it's taxing to get exposed to so many different ideas, clips, heated discussi…

> Makes we wanna throw away my phone and live in the woods What I tried to aim for in Digital Vegan 1[] is to get people thinking about tech as a healthy balance . It is actually rather common to have these extreme swings, all or nothing, total technological connection or living off berries in a woodland shack. It's called splitting in psychology, and the conditions around technology are geared to maximise it. That's…

> So to me it makes sense to define "hacker" as someone who has mastery over technology. A master is not dominated by their own creations and desires. Part of mastery is choosing exactly how much, and what type of technology to use, and not allowing other people to foist that upon you.

I like that definition and they way you argue. But don't forget that i.e. Meta and all other social networks are paying hords of hackers to screw with your emotions. I.e. you have a really capable opponent.

Why do I claim that social networks and other pay hackers to screw with our emotions? Actually I am convinced they don't care at all about the emotions of their users. They only care about their attention. Since, that is what is being sold to advertisers. Therefore, they do anything to prohibit users from staying in control of their social media use. That doesn't mean that it is impossible to use social media responsibly and healthy, but it is not easy.

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