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Taking a break from social media makes you happier and less anxious

calnewport.com

241–250 of 486 posts

Re: Taking a break from social media makes you happier and less anxious

#241

Is HN considered "social media"? Because in many ways (at least for me), there's a resemblance - the never disappearing timeline, the comments that sometimes show the trenches of the good old culture wars... It's definitely no Facebook. I guess HN (or HN admins, to be precise) is doing a better job at limiting the disagreements from "Petersburg troll-farm vitriol" to "occasionally sarcastic". But the social media eff…

I don't think HN fits to the "Social Media" of today. It's more of a slow churning RSS feed with comments underpinned by a strong social contract. Another difference is, while we disagree, we don't fight bona fide flame wars. A more civilized and skilled discussion is favored here, and this is a very good thing (TM) . Feeling a lot of completed projects or new things kindle the impostor syndrome sometimes, but it's n…

I agree about the discussion being (mostly) civilized. But I'm really asking myself to what degree is this because of the admins dedication to their job and to what degree is this by design / users selection.

I'm in a few FB groups that are not too far of the mark either when it comes to the debate rules, but moderating one of them, I see that keeping things civilized is not really something one can automatize or put into an algorithm / ML magic.

Hence the parallel with HN. We tend to imagine social networks as apps / startups, but I don't think that's a full picture.

Re: Taking a break from social media makes you happier and less anxious

#242

I fast from food for a month a year due to religious reasons (from dawn to dusk). During this time,I fast from social media (telegram, twitter mostly). After about a week, I feel anxious at a superficial level but it levels off and I feel much better about 2 weeks in. After the whole month, when I log into twitter again, I can really feel a mental shift. Almost like being dragged back into it. It's not pleasant. I'm…

If it's not pleasant, why do you return there?

Re: Taking a break from social media makes you happier and less anxious

#243

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I think a lot of people realize that facebook makes them feel bad but they prefer to feel bad rather than not feel anything at all. They unknowingly pursue easily available emotion (even negative) to avoid emotional boredom. It's a bit like watching scary or sad movies.

> they prefer to feel bad Kinda the premise of The Matrix

or a lot of films...

Re: Taking a break from social media makes you happier and less anxious

#244

I've been away from facebook and instagram for about 4 years. Never caught the tik-tok or snapchat train, so the only consumption i do is light reddit and hackernews. The weirdest thing for others is that I can sit indefinitely without having to look at my phone and actually get lost in thoughts or even get bored. The downside is that it can isolate you. Where I live, if you're not on instagram you don't exist. My gi…

I feel exactly the same. The plus side is I can focus and crank out a full days work in only 4-5 hours. While other colleagues take 7-9 hours.

Re: Taking a break from social media makes you happier and less anxious

#245
post #193

Is HN considered "social media"? Because in many ways (at least for me), there's a resemblance - the never disappearing timeline, the comments that sometimes show the trenches of the good old culture wars... It's definitely no Facebook. I guess HN (or HN admins, to be precise) is doing a better job at limiting the disagreements from "Petersburg troll-farm vitriol" to "occasionally sarcastic". But the social media eff…

HN mostly reminds me of the Usenet of the late 1980s - which was in a way the social media of its time.

I haven't been on Usenet in the 80's (coming from the other side of the Iron Curtain, my own IT history basically starts in the 90's, first internet access around 1995-98).

Did Usenet not require any moderation? Or was it simply the barrier for entry that made people behave like the access was a scarce resource? Or what do You think made the period so unique?

Re: Taking a break from social media makes you happier and less anxious

#246

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I'm curious, do you also tend to fast from news sources, if you follow any? HN, BBC, stuff like that. Things that aren't social media but might have a similar effect where you get overwhelmed or anxious from the information.

I don't think people are getting overwhelmed or anxious from the information, but rather from the way that information is presented. The past was, in nearly every measurable way, vastly worse than the present. In the span of a single life you go from WW1 to the Spanish Flu to the Great Depression to WW2 to the very real threat of nuclear annihilation which nearly came to be multiple times. And you didn't need to seek…

Yeah. The OP was specifically about social media and regular news outlets mimic the highly addictive techniques used there to sell their own news. The medium, after all, is the message and I was specifically talking about how staying away from it feels good and going back feels bad.

Re: Taking a break from social media makes you happier and less anxious

#247

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Genuinely happy, of course! I want to see my friends and family succeed in life and enjoy it. I don't feel like a lesser person in any way, I feel proud of them.

What kind of therapy is recommended to get into this state of being?

Take it or leave it, Metta meditation is pretty squarely aimed at that. I’ve had only the tiniest bits of success, but trying a book/video/app is a ton cheaper+easier than therapy!

Re: Taking a break from social media makes you happier and less anxious

#248
post #201

Earlier quoted context omitted.

One could be “happy”* for a friend and also feel shitty about themself. “Damn. Matthew has changed jobs 3 times in the past 5 years already, each time to a better paying job. Look at you. You’re still stuck in this shitty job because you suck.” This is literally the kind of thought I have had in the past. [*] Are you “happy” in a polite way? Or are you genuinely happy?

Genuinely happy, of course! I want to see my friends and family succeed in life and enjoy it. I don't feel like a lesser person in any way, I feel proud of them.

You've never felt Envy towards someone?

I kind of find that hard to believe.

that was all OP was referring too and it's well documented. Honestly you come off as dishonest in this convo as it's quiet a normal emotion to feel and it's not negative per say, it can lead to negative actions but can also push people to do better.

"It doesn't matter if the slight is real or not, its the perception of the person that matters" -- Jimmy Hoffa

Re: Taking a break from social media makes you happier and less anxious

#250
post #220
post #168

Earlier quoted context omitted.

If other people find their ideal job, have a tropical vacation, etc. it makes me feel... good? Those are good things in general, although the tropical vacation might make me also feel concerned about the climate. The problems I have with social media are that - it steals a lot of time - a lot of content gets me by evoking negative emotion - it's taxing to get exposed to so many different ideas, clips, heated discussi…

Having actually thrown away my phone, and lived in the woods, I can say I recommend the former as a fantastic mental health improvement. Living in the woods, not so much.

My very favorite part of HN is when someone is like “I’m actually an experienced XYZer, here’s the inside scoop” usually for a niche industry, now for niche lifestyles.

Thanks for the data point! Can you say more about the experience? Where did you end up?

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