Ask HN: Why are people in real life so different?

Post by lazide » Sun, May 15, 2022, 9:16 PM UTC

Lammy wrote: post #136

otterley wrote: post #29

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> HN is a strongly self-selected group of people, with rules against bad-faith arguments I'd love to see those rules enforced someday. There are plenty of examples of such arguments to be found here.

Other peoples' intent is fundamentally unknowable. Labeling someone's speech as "bad-faith" is repackaging an individual's subjective dislike of certain arguments into a justification for denying everyone else the ability to evaluate that argument and make their own individual judgement.

Post by lazide » Sun, May 15, 2022, 9:19 PM UTC

annyeonghada wrote: post #89

User23 wrote: post #83

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> Some family members get super offended if you make any kind of suggestion on how they can fix a given problem Unsolicited advice is generally offensive. If they wanted your advice on how to fix their problems they would ask you. If they don't and you go ahead anyway then you imply that you are superior to them and just come off as obnoxious.

>Unsolicited advice is generally offensive. If they wanted your advice on how to fix their problems they would ask you. It is not generally offensive to offer a suggestion about how to solve a problem, what's offensive is abusing people time by rehearsing the same complaints over and over again while ignoring any kind of solution. If they whine constantly about a problem but never seek any way to solve it, it is just…

Post by lazide » Sun, May 15, 2022, 9:21 PM UTC

tester756 wrote: post #141

_Algernon_ wrote: post #90

Loud minorities. You only notice the bad parts. Hiding behind a pseudonym/anonymity allows people to hold back less. You probably don't talk much to teens/children irl. You do online. Less / no social repercussions to being a cunt. People who are bitter and angry and troll on forums may not go outside much irl, so you don't meet them. If you are outside the US, you get to experience the exported political polarizatio…

>People who are bitter and angry and troll on forums may not go outside much irl, so you don't meet them. I believe this is myth, was it even proved? I've seen it being repeated for at least decade yet it always felt like "one quick, somewhat logically sounding explanation" but is it even real?

Post by trhway » Sun, May 15, 2022, 9:22 PM UTC

abnercoimbre wrote: post #88

brabel wrote: post #64

Earlier quoted context omitted.

There's also the fact that when you're online there's a zero risk of being punched in the face when you say something the other person is likely to find unpleasant.

I was going to say it's mostly about the threat of physical violence (or lack thereof.)

Post by civilized » Sun, May 15, 2022, 9:23 PM UTC

bityard wrote: post #158

civilized wrote: post #34

On social media, thousands see your post but only a few react. They're the ones that found your post much more interesting than the average person who saw it. In real life, only a few people hear what you say but they feel socially obligated to react in some way. So you get bland, polite reactions. They're the people that, if they'd seen your post on social media, wouldn't have replied at all. In a nutshell: on socia…

> On social media, thousands see your post That's either wildly optimistic, or most people spend a lot more time building up their online persona than I do.