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Ask HN: Why are people in real life so different?
101–110 of 264 posts
Re: Ask HN: Why are people in real life so different?
#102The main reason is that almost all content online comes from people who are mentally ill. Commenting or creating anything online is really weird. Normal people don't do this, so you're interacting with a very different group of people on your computer than in real life. > people in real life seem so much more complacent and uncritical compared to people online This is just to avoid conflict. I'm sure they feel the sa…
>The main reason is that almost all content online comes from people who are mentally ill.
I wasn’t brave enough to say this, but since you have, I want to agree. Gaming, Discord, forums, etc - filled to the brink with mentally ill individuals.
Re: Ask HN: Why are people in real life so different?
#103- I think people are more likely to be polite in person (perhaps it is more obvious that retaliation might happen or perhaps it is just being socialised to different norms).
- In person, I think people are more likely to ‘fill the space’ in small groups and so the average thing that is said is low-entropy and polite whereas online (at least here) there is more of an attitude of only contributing when you have something to say and I think on average it is easier to have something to say that is critical than positive (and often there may be many unique seeming criticisms and fewer positive things even if the latter should carry more weight). In large groups where it is more likely that critical opinions may exist, I think people are just less likely to speak up in the real world.
- there may be more criticism online but that doesn’t mean the feedback is good online or in the real world. I think it’s very hard to tell apart the useful (ie good) feedback from the useless.
Re: Ask HN: Why are people in real life so different?
#104HN is a strongly self-selected group of people, with rules against bad-faith arguments. But you can find groups like that in real life too. The special thing about online is that when an obscure topic comes up, someone from the 0.0001% of people with deep knowledge of that subject can chime in. That dynamic basically never happens IRL, because you need a million eyeballs. Like, outside of NASA, where would you encoun…
The only bad faith argument I've ever seen on HN is calling any argument you disagree with and can't refute a "bad-faith argument".
Re: Ask HN: Why are people in real life so different?
#105Earlier quoted context omitted.
There's also the fact that when you're online there's a zero risk of being punched in the face when you say something the other person is likely to find unpleasant.
I was going to say it's mostly about the threat of physical violence (or lack thereof.)
Equal parts "non-zero threat of physical escalation" and "empathy triggered by proximity to another human."
It's hard to stare into someone else's eyes and feel... nothing.
It's pretty easy to look at text on the screen and forget the person on the other end is like you.
Re: Ask HN: Why are people in real life so different?
#106Consequences.
Re: Ask HN: Why are people in real life so different?
#107I agree with you that a given person typically has a different personality online vs. offline.
However, I disagree with you that people are more "kumbya" in person than online.
My experience has been people are much more aggressive and mean in person. People are constantly shit-talking, passing undue judgment, road raging complete strangers. It's absolutely terrifying.
Online, I still feel there is ugliness, but I tend to find people will put together clear and reasonable arguments. Especially in communities like this one.
Re: Ask HN: Why are people in real life so different?
#108Earlier quoted context omitted.
I meant for real, Dan - like bring down the ban hammer more forcefully. Let's get serious about cleaning up this place.
It's a bit of a balancing act. If you're too ban-happy you'll get an echo chamber (some would say that HN already is one) and if anything goes the trolls drive out serious participants. I think it's remarkable that the discussion here is as good as it is, compared to e.g. reddit or other forums. There has to be a little room for jokes and sarcasm and "devil's advocacy," as that's part of how real people talk about th…
Exactly. The only people you should really be banning in an online community are repeat offenders who understand the rules and continue to disobey them in a way egregious enough to be harmful to the community.
That's a far smaller set than "people who post bad / stupid / annoying things."
Re: Ask HN: Why are people in real life so different?
#109Because we are not yet invented an ability to punch people in the face over standard TCP/IP.
Re: Ask HN: Why are people in real life so different?
#110Earlier quoted context omitted.
I meant for real, Dan - like bring down the ban hammer more forcefully. Let's get serious about cleaning up this place.
I think dang is already doing an inhuman amount of work. He's easily the most active and most thoughtful moderator I've ever seen. He's a machine. Hard to imagine how things can be better than it's now unless we overhaul then entire moderation model and make it more distributed, like Slashdot (not saying that Slashdot specifically is better; it isn't) .
Dang needs to hire some of the old moderators of TeamLiquid's forum heh, that'd be interesting to see