Feeling uncomfortable when leaving phone at home shouldn't be normal • Hacker News Board

Re: Feeling uncomfortable when leaving phone at home shouldn't be normal

#331

Post by themodelplumber » Mon, May 09, 2022, 1:54 AM UTC

eternityforest wrote: post #312

themodelplumber wrote: post #96

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I agree, I mean I was born quite a long time earlier but in my career training I was taught to look for tools people can use for restoring energy, comfort, courage, and maintaining contact with long-term values via their interests. This can also be especially important if you have other sensitivities that can lead to unwanted outcomes, which can be ameliorated more easily with a device nearby. Also, IMO using "addict…

I think addiction is perfect relevant for the majority of users. It's still a net win to have a phone, but they are addictive. Any time you would like to stop doing something but are unable to because of a compulsion.... Is that not an addiction? If you don't know what to do with your hands without a cigarette in them, almost anyone would call that a cigarette addiction. Most people don't know what to do with their h…

> Any time you would like to stop doing something but are unable to

That's the thing. People call it addiction even when nobody ever said anything (see my comment) about that part. You are the one who added the bit about not being able to stop.

So, is it really fair to then project one's own fears or experiences with addiction, or beliefs about addiction, onto such a situation? That's better left to clinical territory, not casual relational discourse.

Re: Feeling uncomfortable when leaving phone at home shouldn't be normal

#332

Post by nojvek » Mon, May 09, 2022, 1:55 AM UTC

golergka wrote: post #275

dale_glass wrote: post #155

Personally I find modern technology to be very liberating. When I was a child, even going around my own city was a stressful thing. What if I get lost? What if I run out of money for the train? How do I know I got the bus in the right direction? (the darn things didn't announce stops at all). The first times I traveled involved printing a stack of papers including names, addresses, and maps. Getting to a hotel in a c…

I had to leave my country a couple of months ago because of the war. If not for the modern technology, I would become a poor refugee, locked out of my money, without any income and social connections and would be relying on finding benevolent strangers. But with it, I almost painfully transitioned to digital nomad lifestyle. My remote job didn't suffer except for a single week long absence, I have access to all of my…

I’m assuming “my country” = Ukraine. I’d love to hear more about your experience. Do you feel you want be able to go back in near future? Or is this the new lifestyle the way you want things to be?

Re: Feeling uncomfortable when leaving phone at home shouldn't be normal

#333

Post by julianlam » Mon, May 09, 2022, 2:13 AM UTC

noobermin wrote: post #316

philosopher1234 wrote: post #279

Earlier quoted context omitted.

You don’t need an excuse to explore blindly. I agree that you no longer have one, but I think that is simply a fact of the modern world that requires adaptation. We have to be more honest with ourselves about why we explore.

Also, believe it or not, maps or apps lie. Just two days ago, I passed by a CVS that was listed as still open on google maps whereas it had already been closed. On the exploration aspect, I'm really amazed that people really trust online reviews when restaurants clearly try to mess with the process or angry customers try to tank places they've had one-off bad experiences with. I take reviews as just another piece of…

Restaurant ratings are also a poor signal precisely because they're all relative to the restaurant type.

You can't honestly say a 4.9 star McDonald's is better than a Michelin star restaurant with a rating of 4.8, but it could (and probably does) happen.

In my city, ratings for Chinese restaurants almost inversely correlate with quality. The real quality Chinese restaurants have amazing food but absolutely shite service, and it's that terrible (yet oddly authentic) service that brings down their score.

Meanwhile the Manchu Wok (sort of like a PF Chang's maybe?) next door gets a higher rating.

Re: Feeling uncomfortable when leaving phone at home shouldn't be normal

#334

Post by ativzzz » Mon, May 09, 2022, 2:13 AM UTC

thenerdhead wrote: post #143

panaffa wrote: post #72

I'm part of the new generation and I think the opposite. I am obsessed with my phone and the Internet. And I don't think it's bad. It's extremely stimulating in a way real life is orders of magnitude worse at. Point of reference, born around 2000. There's no going back for me. I want my phone at all times to have access to billions of possible thoughts, pictures, memes. It's literally a god like power.

I said the same thing as someone who just turned 30 and was one of the first generations born with the internet. Although I don’t mean to discourage your obsession with it, one of the most beautiful things in the world you can do is learn to think for yourself. Unplugging yourself from others opinions, thoughts, and picking up a book or two can help you start that journey.

You do counter yourself there by telling them to think for themselves and then pick up a book. Reading a book is the opposite of thinking for yourself

Re: Feeling uncomfortable when leaving phone at home shouldn't be normal

#335

Post by ativzzz » Mon, May 09, 2022, 2:18 AM UTC

hooande wrote: post #175

lolinder wrote: post #126

Earlier quoted context omitted.

In this community we tend to overestimate just how much knowledge is found on the internet because essentially everything to do with tech happens here. In the bigger picture, even if you restrict yourself to only intellectual knowledge, there are entire fields that are extremely poorly documented on the internet. Either information isn't there at all, or the information that is readily accessible is plain wrong. Furt…

if you gave someone the equivalent of wikipedia 1,000 years ago (and the ability to read and understand it), they would seem to have god like knowledge.

"seem" is the key word. They'd know a lot of stuff, but knowing stuff and doing useful things with said stuff (or convincing people that your stuff is correct and theirs isn't) are two completely different experiences and require different skillsets

Re: Feeling uncomfortable when leaving phone at home shouldn't be normal

#336

Post by jholman » Mon, May 09, 2022, 2:28 AM UTC

AdrianB1 wrote: post #201

ericlewis wrote: post #144

I’ll read the article but I’ll admit that my first reaction to this was… do they know how folks use their phone? My phone is my entire wallet now, in every way. Wether flying the country (boarding passes, I have clear), or purchasing something (I nearly exclusively use Apple Pay) I’ve long left behind needing to carry a proper wallet. I do make sure to carry a couple of $20s just in case there is some oddball reason…

What country does not require you to carry an id at all times where outside your house? Most countries do and most don't even accept alternate id's like driver's license.

A markedly-incomplete list of a few countries that do not require you to carry an ID outside your home:

Australia, Austria, Canada, Denmark, Finland, France, Iceland, Ireland, Italy, Japan, Netherlands, New Zealand, Norway, Sweden, Switzerland, United Kingdom, United States.

I'm not sure if anyone on HN lives in any of those countries, though. I know I'm a Russian disinformation worker, and I assume everyone else is, too.

Re: Feeling uncomfortable when leaving phone at home shouldn't be normal

#337

Post by unethical_ban » Mon, May 09, 2022, 2:46 AM UTC

themodelplumber wrote: post #331

eternityforest wrote: post #312

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I think addiction is perfect relevant for the majority of users. It's still a net win to have a phone, but they are addictive. Any time you would like to stop doing something but are unable to because of a compulsion.... Is that not an addiction? If you don't know what to do with your hands without a cigarette in them, almost anyone would call that a cigarette addiction. Most people don't know what to do with their h…

> Any time you would like to stop doing something but are unable to That's the thing. People call it addiction even when nobody ever said anything (see my comment) about that part. You are the one who added the bit about not being able to stop. So, is it really fair to then project one's own fears or experiences with addiction, or beliefs about addiction, onto such a situation? That's better left to clinical territor…

There is no going back for me... It is a god like power...

Over using a cellphone vs. not using a cellphone day to day. Yes. That is a problem.

Re: Feeling uncomfortable when leaving phone at home shouldn't be normal

#338

Post by chrismcb » Mon, May 09, 2022, 2:51 AM UTC

delusional wrote: post #271

dale_glass wrote: post #155

Personally I find modern technology to be very liberating. When I was a child, even going around my own city was a stressful thing. What if I get lost? What if I run out of money for the train? How do I know I got the bus in the right direction? (the darn things didn't announce stops at all). The first times I traveled involved printing a stack of papers including names, addresses, and maps. Getting to a hotel in a c…

I want to just dive into a little bit of a tangent. It's interesting to me that you're liberated by having access to everything all the time. Personally I find it pretty constraining. It makes me feel like there's nothing to discover, no mystery, no journey. If I wanted to find the best restaurant, I wouldn't have to go out and explore the local options or discuss it with friends. The more efficient and correct way w…

You do it because your tastes are different than others. Just because it is labeled as the best restaurant doesn't mean it is the best nor does it mean you will like it. There are still plenty of out of the way places to explore. On the other hand, if you don't have time to explore it can help you narrow down your choices. Not to mention of you search for "best restaurant at place x" you'll get a half dozen different ones. It is just a tool, just it wisely.

Re: Feeling uncomfortable when leaving phone at home shouldn't be normal

#339

Post by mr_toad » Mon, May 09, 2022, 3:06 AM UTC

tsimionescu wrote: post #303

pessimizer wrote: post #280

Earlier quoted context omitted.

This must be like when in threads about Uber, people describe taxis as a traumatizing hellscape. When I was a child, I figured out how my city was shaped, and figured out how to get around. Knowing how to get around one's own city is a skill worth learning, and is less of a time investment than fishing around for a phone to spend minutes futzing around with for the rest of your life. > The first times I traveled invo…

> When I was a child, I figured out how my city was shaped, and figured out how to get around. You either live in a pretty small city, or an exceptionally well-laid one. I have lived in the same city all my life, and while I have a pretty good idea of where major points of interest are, and can probably walk or drive home from anywhere in the city, I definitely don't have any chance of finding a random address someon…

We had maps, bus schedules phone books. It wasn’t that hard.

Re: Feeling uncomfortable when leaving phone at home shouldn't be normal

#340

Post by eternityforest » Mon, May 09, 2022, 3:12 AM UTC

themodelplumber wrote: post #331

eternityforest wrote: post #312

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I think addiction is perfect relevant for the majority of users. It's still a net win to have a phone, but they are addictive. Any time you would like to stop doing something but are unable to because of a compulsion.... Is that not an addiction? If you don't know what to do with your hands without a cigarette in them, almost anyone would call that a cigarette addiction. Most people don't know what to do with their h…

> Any time you would like to stop doing something but are unable to That's the thing. People call it addiction even when nobody ever said anything (see my comment) about that part. You are the one who added the bit about not being able to stop. So, is it really fair to then project one's own fears or experiences with addiction, or beliefs about addiction, onto such a situation? That's better left to clinical territor…

If the person hasn't said anything about being unable to stop, then it might be a bit inaccurate.

But it is very common for people to explicitly say they have trouble stopping. Almost as common or maybe even more common than having trouble eating less sugar.

And it is very common for people to believe they are negatively affected, unable to focus on books or movies, that their relationships are impacted, that their health suffers, that they are stressed by the miserable content they consume, and to be confident that these problems are new or worsened since the phone era.

Maybe addicted isn't the best word for strangers, but "fairly likely to be having some level of addiction symptoms" seems to apply to most phone owners.