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A 4-year-old can run errands alone and not just on reality TV

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Re: A 4-year-old can run errands alone and not just on reality TV

#441
post #174

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> The only thing that changed was people became more fearful. People absolutely drive considerably faster. There are many reasons for that, but they do. When I was a kid roaming around on my own in the 1980s and 1990s, the roads simply weren't as dangerous as they are now. People not only drive faster, but driver visibility is much worse--because A frames, because SUVs, etc. I agree fear has grown considerably. But n…

Maybe in US but not in eastern Europe. Speed limits and road restrictions are significantly hardened last two decades, as well as casualties per capita.

There are more cars then years ago. Way more cars.

Re: A 4-year-old can run errands alone and not just on reality TV

#442
post #417

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Not true in Western Europe. They are heavily overrepresented in crime statistics and their own communities have grown big enough that there’s no need anymore to try to fit in.

What follows is a generalisation from the Australian experience (my experience - I'm a child of first gen migrants i.e. a 2nd generation Australian). For the first generation and some of the second generation this is true. Migrants often don't know the language, and don't have pre-existing connections in the community, so they tend to cluster in areas where there are more people like them (often cheaper places to liv…

You don’t have to look that far back in the US to see how Irish immigrants were treated, then eventually became the dominant ethnic group in the NE.

It plays out in the way you describe in a lot of places.

Re: A 4-year-old can run errands alone and not just on reality TV

#443

Earlier quoted context omitted.

This. The cities are actually safer . The chief difference is that the segment of the media dedicated to keeping people fearful, particularly of their neighbors, is enormous now. It was always the case that media liked stories of conflict, but this was moderated by a sense of propriety and responsibility to the community. Now, certain voices have enormous megaphones and no restraints and the paranoia and anger they a…

> The chief difference is that the segment of the media dedicated to keeping people fearful Also, there is the Citizen app. I wonder if it's driving perception more than anything else. When I've talked to people in safe cities who nonetheless were ranting to me about crime, I've asked them if they have Citizen, and very many do. Not strong data, but I would love to see some research.

Citizen is going to get someone killed.

Re: A 4-year-old can run errands alone and not just on reality TV

#444

Earlier quoted context omitted.

You have a tracker on your 15 year old son? Isn't that extreme?

> Isn't that extreme? What do you think smart phones are? That's exactly what they're optimized for, in addition to mass distraction and aimless and feckless doom scrolling for dopamine that is. I can't post because i triggered the algo: > My wife and I use Apple's "Find My" feature to keep tabs on when each other will be home. Makes it easy to time dinner so it's hot for everyone. The Silicon Valley TV series was gr…

Phone does not imply detailed tracking by parent at all.

Re: A 4-year-old can run errands alone and not just on reality TV

#445
post #393
post #382

Earlier quoted context omitted.

There is a saying in Ireland called "More Irish than the Irish" and refers to immigrants and non-locals who take up all of the local culture to extreme (compared to the average) levels. Immigrants are statistically the most law abiding and often times, even conservative, members of a a community and it probably is one measure of long-term survival (esp. in the U.S. while living under the microscope of a work visa) so…

> who take up all of the local culture to extreme (compared to the average) levels. What does this mean? My dumb brain goes straight to “even more alcoholism and fighting” but that might just be on account of being Irish diaspora myself.

The best example I heard from a friend who was a recent immigrant from India.

He had quite a few friends who were the children of immigrants who arrived from India a generation earlier.

When my friend’s parents visited (from India where they still lived) they were shocked when these 2nd generation American-India kids greeted them in a super formal way that had disappeared in India decades ago.

Basically the immigrants to the US held onto old customs more strongly than the ones who never left India. And they passed that onto their kids. So they were “more Indian than people from India”.

Re: A 4-year-old can run errands alone and not just on reality TV

#446

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Absolutely correct. The USA worships the car's speed above the child's freedom.

> Absolutely correct. The USA worships the car's speed above the child's freedom. To be honest, this was never really a consideration in my calculus growing up, and I did so during the age of the super car going into hypercar era in SoCal and the presence of those cars around us would become a large part of our 'tuner' culture as it's literately the car mod capital of the World. Never once did that deter us from hitt…

> The problem stems from parents deferring their responsibilities to the State when it comes to every facet of Life,

Gotta love this comment under article and issue of overparenting literally about parents putting in more work so that kids don't go alone.

Re: A 4-year-old can run errands alone and not just on reality TV

#447

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Where can I do this without drivers who will kill my kid? Cars (or SUV's and trucks, really) are faster, heavier, taller, more numerous, and driven far more miles now. They are why my kid can't walk/cycle to school.

Is there data on this though? I'm against the out of control car culture in the US, but cars have generally gotten safer for both drivers and bystanders, right? Yes a giant SUV is bad for pedestrians, but so was a rigid metal box like cars used to be. And drinking and driving is more socially unacceptable than ever.

Cars have become less safe for bystanders. There are huge SUVs and trucks with front grilles at head height everywhere in North America now. No chance of a pedestrian or bicyclist surviving a collision, and massive blind spots. It’s unconscionable.

There’s data out there, much has been written on the subject. Here’s one example from a quick google search (I’m not going so far as to claim it’s representative): https://www.iihs.org/news/detail/new-study-suggests-todays-s...

Re: A 4-year-old can run errands alone and not just on reality TV

#448
post #107
post #20

As a parent, none of the risks are as profound as that of some other member of the public calling the police to inform on your “dangerous parenting”. I’ve deliberately chosen to live in a walkable part of the Bay Area in the hopes that my kids can be more independent when they get older, but I’m more worried about the social pushback than I am about their safety.

As a new dad, who also moved to the Bay Area from Europe, I would be interested what parts of the Bay Area would provide such a walkable environment?

Berkeley and Albany. My neighbors told me they can't get their teenager to finish his drivers ed course because he just doesn't care that much about driving. His school, the park and his friends are all walking and biking distance away.

Re: A 4-year-old can run errands alone and not just on reality TV

#450
post #47

I don't have any kids, so I don't really feel comfortable telling folks how to raise theirs. But I will tell you my perspective. As someone who grew up in the "be back home in time for supper" 1970s, today's world seems completely foreign. When I started kindergarten, Mom walked me to school on the first day so that I'd know the route. And after that I walked to school on my own until I learned to ride a bike. I rode…

Where can I do this without drivers who will kill my kid? Cars (or SUV's and trucks, really) are faster, heavier, taller, more numerous, and driven far more miles now. They are why my kid can't walk/cycle to school.

In many European cities young children still walk themselves to school, teens take the trams, etc. It is much safer than in the US for a number of reasons. The speed limits are much lower, 30 kph (19 mph) is the standard speed limit for a residential road, 40 kph (25 mph) is typical for commercial roads with wide sidewalks, etc.. Most streets have a buffer of parallel parked cars between the driving lanes and sidewalks. Right turn on a red light is universally banned in some cities. The cars tend to be smaller and even the heavy trucks have better visibility since the driver is sitting above the front axle. Most importantly though there are always pedestrians on the streets so drivers are vigilant.
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