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A 4-year-old can run errands alone and not just on reality TV

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Re: A 4-year-old can run errands alone and not just on reality TV

#11
post #2

A 4 yr old can also get distracted and walk in front of a car, or climb over a railing and fall of a bridge.

A large number of adults get distracted by their phones and get run over. The child is probably more aware of its environment than most adults.

Depends on the kid. Kids tend to have more variability in their attention spans and recognition of danger.

Re: A 4-year-old can run errands alone and not just on reality TV

#12
We recently started letting our 9 year-old walk down to a nearby park alone to meet and play with friends. It’s helping them build independence and confidence and I have no concerns about kidnapping, etc, because it’s only a couple of blocks away and we live in a safe neighborhood (they also have a phone they take with them and know to call/text us when they change their plans and go to another nearby park).

What I DO have concerns about, however, is overzealous adults who see a kid playing alone at a park and decide to call the police or child protective services.

Re: A 4-year-old can run errands alone and not just on reality TV

#13
post #2

A 4 yr old can also get distracted and walk in front of a car, or climb over a railing and fall of a bridge.

> But, and this is key, I didn't simply hand Rosy some money, a grocery bag, close my eyes and send her to the market up the street.

The article does note that there was a whole process leading up to sending the kid out on an errand. Lots of out-and-about skill acquisition in gradually more-independent settings, culminating in the trip to the store. One assumes that if the child was particularly prone to distractions like that, it'd have come up and been worked on.

Re: A 4-year-old can run errands alone and not just on reality TV

#14

A large component here is simply risk tolerance. Society's risk tolerance, especially for kids, has fallen pretty dramatically. This is probably related to just how many fewer kids US society has in general (births per woman has fallen in half since 1960, and it takes a culture some time to catch up). If you have fewer, then the individual ones become that much more valuable. Your attention and time is divided much l…

I think the "Stranger Danger" panic that accelerated in the 80's is probably more responsible for people thinking that a 4-year old is incapable of running errands. It's not so much the lack of mental capacity as it is decades of cultural inculcation that you should not dare to let any child under the age of ___ wander the streets alone, or they will be immediately abducted, assaulted, and decapitated by dark forces.…

Well, and now the Internet - it doesn't help when Nextdoor is full of "suspicious person alerts" aka "there was a solicitor and I didn't like it", and a non-stop barrage of crime related stories.

I live in a city whose broader region is almost 10000 square miles, and the crime feeds report all crime in this area as occurring in "Houston", even though this region is larger than some US states. I feel like this contributes to panic because people feel like the crime is in their backyard. My local news station targets me on Facebook with stories because I'm in this MSA, but the story they hit me with could be a shooting that's easily a 1.5 hour drive from me.

Heck, here in Texas, my phone has buzzed from what they are calling "Blue Alerts" now, which is a riff off of Amber Alerts, where I've gotten notified that an officer was shot at, literally over 4 hours away from me, almost 300 miles away. It's not surprising that our society is inundated with panic.

Re: A 4-year-old can run errands alone and not just on reality TV

#15

A large component here is simply risk tolerance. Society's risk tolerance, especially for kids, has fallen pretty dramatically. This is probably related to just how many fewer kids US society has in general (births per woman has fallen in half since 1960, and it takes a culture some time to catch up). If you have fewer, then the individual ones become that much more valuable. Your attention and time is divided much l…

Its not just personal risk tolerance that plays into it either. I would let my kids largely run free but I know I would probably have to deal with CPS if I did so.

Re: A 4-year-old can run errands alone and not just on reality TV

#16
post #8

By all means, let the kid run around town and have fun. I think most of us realize that by the numbers, 'stranger danger' precaution went too far years ago. But errands? They'll have a lifetime of errands when they're older; four years is too young, let them have at least a few years of fun first. Maybe the occasional errand is fun for kids, but I think I know how this ends. Before long it's no longer an adventure an…

Eh, I think it's okay to give kids chores to do from time to time. They can pickup something fun for themselves too.

Re: A 4-year-old can run errands alone and not just on reality TV

#17
post #2

A 4 yr old can also get distracted and walk in front of a car, or climb over a railing and fall of a bridge.

Having seen 1 though 5 year old children in save indoor spaces at a nursery and the woodlands with rusty fences: the latter group moves more up a muddy hill with bolders then the protected group walks over a carpet.

But okay, the amount of bruises increases in the wilderness. The amount of crying over that decreases by 99 percent.

Re: A 4-year-old can run errands alone and not just on reality TV

#18

A large component here is simply risk tolerance. Society's risk tolerance, especially for kids, has fallen pretty dramatically. This is probably related to just how many fewer kids US society has in general (births per woman has fallen in half since 1960, and it takes a culture some time to catch up). If you have fewer, then the individual ones become that much more valuable. Your attention and time is divided much l…

I think the "Stranger Danger" panic that accelerated in the 80's is probably more responsible for people thinking that a 4-year old is incapable of running errands. It's not so much the lack of mental capacity as it is decades of cultural inculcation that you should not dare to let any child under the age of ___ wander the streets alone, or they will be immediately abducted, assaulted, and decapitated by dark forces.…

I think it has much less to do with any particular murder, and is actually related to the rise of cable news that needed to find some way to fill an entire day, every day of the week, with national news. There just isn't that much national news, not the sort that keeps people tuning in. So instead they started taking local news stories that had some sensational elements and presenting them as national news stories. Stories about serial killers, kids getting hurt, etc.

Re: A 4-year-old can run errands alone and not just on reality TV

#19
post #8

By all means, let the kid run around town and have fun. I think most of us realize that by the numbers, 'stranger danger' precaution went too far years ago. But errands? They'll have a lifetime of errands when they're older; four years is too young, let them have at least a few years of fun first. Maybe the occasional errand is fun for kids, but I think I know how this ends. Before long it's no longer an adventure an…

The thing is, errands make kids happy, on the most part kids want responsibility and to feel useful. I agree not every adventure should be an errand though.

Re: A 4-year-old can run errands alone and not just on reality TV

#20
As a parent, none of the risks are as profound as that of some other member of the public calling the police to inform on your “dangerous parenting”.

I’ve deliberately chosen to live in a walkable part of the Bay Area in the hopes that my kids can be more independent when they get older, but I’m more worried about the social pushback than I am about their safety.

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