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A 4-year-old can run errands alone and not just on reality TV

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Re: A 4-year-old can run errands alone and not just on reality TV

#321

Post by sjg007 »

hilbert42 wrote: post #310
beej71 wrote: post #47

I don't have any kids, so I don't really feel comfortable telling folks how to raise theirs. But I will tell you my perspective. As someone who grew up in the "be back home in time for supper" 1970s, today's world seems completely foreign. When I started kindergarten, Mom walked me to school on the first day so that I'd know the route. And after that I walked to school on my own until I learned to ride a bike. I rode…

That's the way it was - over much of the world. What happened? "And I'm so supremely grateful that I was raised that way. I'm absolutely certain that early autonomy paid off later in life in countless ways." I'm holding back tears to know others are grieving like me. It's so terribly sad.

Too many cars moving too fast and too much information coming at us from all over. It’s hard to slow down. Everything is coming at us faster than before.. tv, ads, social media.

The negative news cycle, violent tv and movies paint a world that is different than things really are.

Hardly anyone knows their neighbors anymore and everyone is stressed trying to pay the bills. People live far away from their extended families and even the local babysitters are $$. We want credentialed babysitters etc…

Desirable places to live with job centers are expensively unaffordable and require long commutes.

Then with the internet and cell phones your job never really ever ends. It’s a blessing and a curse that you can work from anywhere at any time.

You can see why France banned emails after work.

Re: A 4-year-old can run errands alone and not just on reality TV

#322

Post by wolverine876 »

adamredwoods wrote: post #259
uranium wrote: post #116

Earlier quoted context omitted.

"Would you send your 5 year old self down the streets of San Francisco or Seattle?" Yes. We live in San Francisco, and our kids went to a daycare in the Civic Center. We walked [with the kids] by many homeless people every weekday for years. Our interactions with them were almost universally positive; they'd clear the sidewalk to let kids through, try to keep kids from seeing drug use, chat and share candy, etc. On c…

As a parent, I wouldn't do this in busy areas. I've seen people get hit from drivers running stop signs and red lights. I have to look at drivers turning right on red to make sure they see me, not sure that all children are tall enough to do this. Too much of a risk. It doesn't take too much searching to find examples of horrible accidents: https://www.kron4.com/news/bay-area/kids-hit-by-car-while-wa...

I don't think I've ever seen someone be hit by a car. The only people I know who have been hit were riding bicycles in traffic.

But I would make sure my kids know not to just trust the lights.

> It doesn't take too much searching to find examples of horrible accidents:

It doesn't take too much searching to find examples of being hit by lightning or winning the lottery. Anecdotes are meaningless in that context.

Re: A 4-year-old can run errands alone and not just on reality TV

#323

Post by annoyingnoob »

I pretty much forced my kids to doing things unsupervised starting around 5. I'd have them go to the mailbox at the end of the street, around the corner just out of view, and get the mail. 1 out of 3 kids was hesitant but I sent her anyway. Then they branched out to the park a couple blocks away, by then they were asking if they could just go - they had learned to be comfortable alone in the world.

Re: A 4-year-old can run errands alone and not just on reality TV

#324

Post by sjg007 »

r3trohack3r wrote: post #268
beej71 wrote: post #47

I don't have any kids, so I don't really feel comfortable telling folks how to raise theirs. But I will tell you my perspective. As someone who grew up in the "be back home in time for supper" 1970s, today's world seems completely foreign. When I started kindergarten, Mom walked me to school on the first day so that I'd know the route. And after that I walked to school on my own until I learned to ride a bike. I rode…

Agree this is mostly dead in America. It's one of the reasons my family settled down where we did. Phoenix Arizona has many master planned communities designed around this lifestyle. Our neighborhood has an "interior" grassy/park like section with trails that wind and twist for 22 miles connecting all of the streets. In the center of that is our local school. Most houses are within two blocks of an entrance to the tr…

This is great!

Re: A 4-year-old can run errands alone and not just on reality TV

#325

Post by wolverine876 »

DFHippie wrote: post #227
uranium wrote: post #116

Earlier quoted context omitted.

"Would you send your 5 year old self down the streets of San Francisco or Seattle?" Yes. We live in San Francisco, and our kids went to a daycare in the Civic Center. We walked [with the kids] by many homeless people every weekday for years. Our interactions with them were almost universally positive; they'd clear the sidewalk to let kids through, try to keep kids from seeing drug use, chat and share candy, etc. On c…

This. The cities are actually safer . The chief difference is that the segment of the media dedicated to keeping people fearful, particularly of their neighbors, is enormous now. It was always the case that media liked stories of conflict, but this was moderated by a sense of propriety and responsibility to the community. Now, certain voices have enormous megaphones and no restraints and the paranoia and anger they a…

> The chief difference is that the segment of the media dedicated to keeping people fearful

Also, there is the Citizen app. I wonder if it's driving perception more than anything else. When I've talked to people in safe cities who nonetheless were ranting to me about crime, I've asked them if they have Citizen, and very many do. Not strong data, but I would love to see some research.

Re: A 4-year-old can run errands alone and not just on reality TV

#326

Post by wolverine876 »

DoneWithAllThat wrote: post #237
DFHippie wrote: post #227

Earlier quoted context omitted.

This. The cities are actually safer . The chief difference is that the segment of the media dedicated to keeping people fearful, particularly of their neighbors, is enormous now. It was always the case that media liked stories of conflict, but this was moderated by a sense of propriety and responsibility to the community. Now, certain voices have enormous megaphones and no restraints and the paranoia and anger they a…

Safer than what? Suburbs with nice sidewalks and tree lined streets and friendly neighbors who know each other? Safer than rural areas where everyone knows everyone and there’s enough law enforcement to work on a 1:1 basis? I’m sorry but this just seems like an absolute nonsense claim.

> Safer than rural areas where everyone knows everyone and there’s enough law enforcement to work on a 1:1 basis?

I remember talking to one farmer who said he had a gun because, where he's from, the police are only there to clean up. They can't get to a crime scene in time unless they are lucky to be nearby, and have very few resources for investigations or other operations.

Re: A 4-year-old can run errands alone and not just on reality TV

#327

Post by captainredbeard »

DFHippie wrote: post #222
Volrath89 wrote: post #188

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I grew up in a 3rd world country (now I live in Europe) in a city that by HN comments seems similar to SF (big and full of harmless homeless people/drug addicts everywhere). I remember when I was a kid and I was with my mother I stared to a homeless man for some time. Of course he just seemed peculiar to me, I was a little kid, but this guy got mad and screamed "Do I owe you money or what? why do you keep looking at…

If you stare at anyone long enough they will get mad. I don't recommend this experiment.

> If you stare at anyone long enough they will get mad

Well, yes, but decent and functional human beings don't react that way to children.

Re: A 4-year-old can run errands alone and not just on reality TV

#328

Post by wolverine876 »

livinginfear wrote: post #215
uranium wrote: post #116

Earlier quoted context omitted.

"Would you send your 5 year old self down the streets of San Francisco or Seattle?" Yes. We live in San Francisco, and our kids went to a daycare in the Civic Center. We walked [with the kids] by many homeless people every weekday for years. Our interactions with them were almost universally positive; they'd clear the sidewalk to let kids through, try to keep kids from seeing drug use, chat and share candy, etc. On c…

Sesame Street clearly had a big influence on you. Would you walk on Kensington Ave with your children? https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Bi1Kf-1qd6Y

You've picked one of the most famous sites for drugs in the country, and a video edited to show how bad it is. That's not representative of city streets any more than a highlight video of the mansion of biggest lottery winner ever is representative of lottery ticket buyers.

Re: A 4-year-old can run errands alone and not just on reality TV

#329

Post by CalRobert »

beej71 wrote: post #47

I don't have any kids, so I don't really feel comfortable telling folks how to raise theirs. But I will tell you my perspective. As someone who grew up in the "be back home in time for supper" 1970s, today's world seems completely foreign. When I started kindergarten, Mom walked me to school on the first day so that I'd know the route. And after that I walked to school on my own until I learned to ride a bike. I rode…

Where can I do this without drivers who will kill my kid? Cars (or SUV's and trucks, really) are faster, heavier, taller, more numerous, and driven far more miles now. They are why my kid can't walk/cycle to school.

Re: A 4-year-old can run errands alone and not just on reality TV

#330

Post by wolverine876 »

fnordpiglet wrote: post #101
clsec wrote: post #78

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I should add that my parents bought me my first bike while we lived in SF. The reason they say we moved to Marin when I started second grade was because my parents had nowhere in The City to teach me how to ride it.

My point wasn’t about seediness or drug use, but about the number of severely mentally ill living on the streets. That has objectively gotten worse since the barriers to commitment went up substantially in the early 1980s and the Reagan dismantling of the national public mental health system and subsequent collapse at the state level. I feel less worried about drug dealers who have a rational economic reason for what…

> gotten worse since the barriers to commitment went up substantially in the early 1980s

That was 40 years ago!

> I feel less worried about drug dealers who have a rational economic reason for what they do than an untreated and unhoused paranoid schizophrenic with violent tendencies.

I've spent a lot of time on city streets and I've never seen these putative people. The good news is that these bogey-people are unicorns. I've seen some people acting unhinged, but they are very easy to avoid - much easier than cars and unwanted aquaintences. Just cross the street, or if the sidewalk is broad enough, just walk around them. Better, get them some help. They are completely lost in their own world, and are not able to follow, much less chase or assault someone. They are, in fact, very vulnerable, the weakest people out there.

You should worry more about the drug dealers, who are not making rational decisions (thus their jobs), and may have guns (gun crime being the only kind that is increasing). And even they will be perfectly friendly if you don't have business with them.

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