Hacker News Board Hacker News, browsed like a classic message board
Live data from Hacker News

A 4-year-old can run errands alone and not just on reality TV

npr.org

Post reply on HN
Print view View original

31–40 of 552 posts

Re: A 4-year-old can run errands alone and not just on reality TV

#31

Post by lostmsu »

compiler-guy wrote: post #6

A large component here is simply risk tolerance. Society's risk tolerance, especially for kids, has fallen pretty dramatically. This is probably related to just how many fewer kids US society has in general (births per woman has fallen in half since 1960, and it takes a culture some time to catch up). If you have fewer, then the individual ones become that much more valuable. Your attention and time is divided much l…

That makes sense. What does not is that there's no data available to make an informed decision.

Re: A 4-year-old can run errands alone and not just on reality TV

#32

Post by yandrypozo »

johnzim wrote: post #20

As a parent, none of the risks are as profound as that of some other member of the public calling the police to inform on your “dangerous parenting”. I’ve deliberately chosen to live in a walkable part of the Bay Area in the hopes that my kids can be more independent when they get older, but I’m more worried about the social pushback than I am about their safety.

I was about to make the same comment, that's indeed my biggest fear, this video makes good points about it https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IYsE7T2hXe8

Re: A 4-year-old can run errands alone and not just on reality TV

#33

Post by chomp »

earthboundkid wrote: post #25
chomp wrote: post #14

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Well, and now the Internet - it doesn't help when Nextdoor is full of "suspicious person alerts" aka "there was a solicitor and I didn't like it", and a non-stop barrage of crime related stories. I live in a city whose broader region is almost 10000 square miles, and the crime feeds report all crime in this area as occurring in "Houston", even though this region is larger than some US states. I feel like this contrib…

Nextdoor is very revealing. I had no idea how racist my neighbors were until I read the Nextdoor post about a suspicious cherrypicker truck driver in the neighborhood, who suspiciously claimed to work for the power company.

Nextdoor post in my neighborhood complained about a "suspicious car" that "scouts the area" around 11pm at night. Whipped enough people into a frenzy to where someone decided to block the car and confront the driver one night. They wound up being a neighbor who gets off late every night, driving straight to their house. The driver made a post chastising the community for targeting them, but it got removed because it was too "political".

Re: A 4-year-old can run errands alone and not just on reality TV

#35

Post by Spellman »

johnzim wrote: post #20

As a parent, none of the risks are as profound as that of some other member of the public calling the police to inform on your “dangerous parenting”. I’ve deliberately chosen to live in a walkable part of the Bay Area in the hopes that my kids can be more independent when they get older, but I’m more worried about the social pushback than I am about their safety.

In CA there's laws specifically against leaving a child in the car due to risk of overheating.

There's no laws about leaving them at home alone.

That being said, there have been lots of horror stories of other adults calling the cops out of concern for child "neglect." And this creates a huge hassle for the parents. Try to figure out our neighborhood's feelings on the topic, and obviously look into the Free Range Kids movement for resources.

Re: A 4-year-old can run errands alone and not just on reality TV

#36

Post by UncleOxidant »

It was 1968 during what was called (at the time) the Hong Kong flu outbreak. I was 5 years old. I was the only person in the house who was not stricken by it - my parents, uncle, sister, cousin all had it and it seemed to hit them pretty hard. But I was fine. I recall several days where I was pretty much on my own as the adults who had it were bed-ridden. At one point my mom sent me to the store about 1/2 mile away with a note I was to hand to the grocer and $5 for milk, eggs, bread and soup. I was able to complete the mission.

Re: A 4-year-old can run errands alone and not just on reality TV

#37

Post by Spellman »

matthewaveryusa wrote: post #34

FYI check your local law before attempting this. A few states in the US have legal minimums for allowing your kids to roam/be alone and they vary, but many do not!

Helpful map and catalogue of relevant laws in the US: https://letgrow.org/resources/state-policy-maps

Re: A 4-year-old can run errands alone and not just on reality TV

#38

Post by newaccount2021 »

AdmiralAsshat wrote: post #9
compiler-guy wrote: post #6

A large component here is simply risk tolerance. Society's risk tolerance, especially for kids, has fallen pretty dramatically. This is probably related to just how many fewer kids US society has in general (births per woman has fallen in half since 1960, and it takes a culture some time to catch up). If you have fewer, then the individual ones become that much more valuable. Your attention and time is divided much l…

I think the "Stranger Danger" panic that accelerated in the 80's is probably more responsible for people thinking that a 4-year old is incapable of running errands. It's not so much the lack of mental capacity as it is decades of cultural inculcation that you should not dare to let any child under the age of ___ wander the streets alone, or they will be immediately abducted, assaulted, and decapitated by dark forces.…

"stranger danger" isn't just a delusion of over-protective parents...my own daughter has told me numerous times over the years of being followed and approached by males she did not know (a car following her slowly, a middle-aged man "asking her out" repeatedly in a park, etc)

we didn't respond to these instances by locking her up, but I'm not going to dismiss parents who are protective

Re: A 4-year-old can run errands alone and not just on reality TV

#39

Post by jerkstate »

flakiness wrote: post #28
compiler-guy wrote: post #6

A large component here is simply risk tolerance. Society's risk tolerance, especially for kids, has fallen pretty dramatically. This is probably related to just how many fewer kids US society has in general (births per woman has fallen in half since 1960, and it takes a culture some time to catch up). If you have fewer, then the individual ones become that much more valuable. Your attention and time is divided much l…

It's also about some collective trust/fantasy, in addition to the tolerance. For example, I don't think Tokyo is particularly safer than a (walkable) US city. But since people there collectively believe Japan is a safe country and are proud of it, they let their child go out. But I agree that the risk tolerance points too. I have talked to a handful of Japanese parents and none of them let their small kids go out wit…

> For example, I don't think Tokyo is particularly safer than a (walkable) US city

on what do you base this opinion? I looked up a couple of crime stats sites and the assault and murder rates per capita in the US are like, 10x higher in the US than in Japan.

Re: A 4-year-old can run errands alone and not just on reality TV

#40

Post by musicale »

> In some places, parents who allow young children to run errands or go places without adult supervision may violate local laws.

Is this because some cities are no longer safe for children to go outside? I wonder how things got so dangerous and if anything can be done.

Edit: Another post noted that there seems to be a general decline in walkability and pedestrian safety in US cities. This seems like something we could try to fix by improving both environments and vehicles.

Post reply on HN