Tell HN: Turned 44 today and I'm lost

While I'm surely projecting on to OP, I think it is very common for very career or goal-focused folks to have good but perhaps not overwhelming success, then hit their mid-40s and think "Umm, what do I do now?" This can be especially common for folks that perhaps sacrificed some of their personal relationships in pursuit of their goals.

I was very lucky in that I had a fantastic therapist who really helped me understand the roots of my depression. Even then, though, after a while insight can only go so far. It's very clear to me that I've neglected nurturing my friendships and relationships, and I think there are likely others out there in a similar predicament, especially on a place like HN. I've actually started to search for a life coach that can really assist with the tactical side of nurturing friendships. That was a big missing piece from my therapy, which was otherwise great.

On one hand it's kind of embarrassing to feel like I need to pay someone to say "Yes, it's been a while, you should call Jane", and "Did you mail your Christmas cards?", and "Did you send a thank you note to Bob?", and "Why don't you invite the Jones over for dinner?", but I've come to see it like a personal trainer. Most people know the basics of working out, but they need to pay someone to actually get them to exercise. On the friendship topic, for some folks this sort of "social knowledge" comes naturally - I've come to easily accept it's not natural for me and I need some assistance.

As far as I've seen from studies of happiness, basically it all comes down to "love", it all its different forms. Modern society makes it much more difficult to build a true sense of community and friendships. I think we all just need to spend the effort to find it without some of the "default" structures that used to exist in the past.

They can give you a wonderful focused sense of meaning. :)

Email me if you'd like to 'hitch' to my dreams (2 of them, see below).

1. ERP for Co-ops, and Unions of Co-ops. I'd like to start a worker co-op and build ERP software for unions, co-ops, syndicates of unions/co-ops. Think normal ERP software but with systems for managing 'points' which are polymorphic as in there could be 1 or multiple pools of points, points could be earned for volunteer hours at charities, worked, or even from consumers who purchase x amount of dollars, etc...

Additionally the points can be used for profit-sharing, mutual aid, voting on issues that are open to public or workers or both, and voting points could be weighted. Maybe a jr dev gets .25 votes, a senior .5, and add .1 for each year of tenure. Execs start out with 5 votes maybe, so there's still a visionary leader or projects/companies.

The ERP software will be something not just for the union/co-op model of business but it'll be unique in having that option. It'll also be open to anyone wanting to run basically any business with parts of the app having all the stuff to start/run Shopify-like business, Affiliate programs, Restaurants with online-ordering, Delivery and Transportation businesses (Uber + Uber eats), etc.

End goal: Democratize creating businesses and encourage employee-owned companies which pay higher, keep more money locally, and are better at self-policing than an exclusively profit-motivated company.

2. Offgrid Intentional Community / Ecovillage

- Buy land between Grand Canyon and Zion National Park. - Build glamping camp w/ 20% of land, rent each of 10 sites out for $100-200/night. - Sell slots for people to build their own home or bring a tiny-home to live, or rent out. - Build common areas: Commercial kitchen, warehouse, office space etc. Entire community can check things out of the warehouse, it's like a library of everything from tools to powertools, to vacuums, and even atv's and rv's (eventually). Office space can be used by scheduling it out, or maybe create enough for all residents to basically have their own cubicle so they can store desktops/etc. - Build recreational areas: frisbee golf, rock-climbing wall, outdoor theater, horse shoe pits. - Build a community farm. - Build solar array for electricity, and huge rain-water capture systems and reservoirs to hold the water. - Have a 'maker space' with 3d printers, and other diy tools and projects to build. - Network w/ other communities to run glamping camps for them, and create a network of camps that anyone living in network of communities can use for free when traveling. So - say you go to disneyworld and there's a community nearby you could stay there and just pay for park passes. - Build homes from earthbags or eco-friendly methods if possible, earthships would be even better I think. - Create software to manage everything needed for the community to thrive, and sell that to other communities, or give it to 'syndicated' communities that are part of our network.

I believe heavily in the idea of creating networks or syndicates of people working together to basically provide common things for those with less and lift up those with less skills/etc so everyone can provide value, and become bigger and better. I'm 42, myself and also probably going through a mid-life crisis. Whenever I think about my dream projects my fog of depression lifts and I see clearly, and if I had money to focus 100% on either I'd do that right now. It'd be nice to have people to work w/ as well though to help build the things.

Technically it all plays together as a master plan to create stronger worker, consumer, and housing co-ops.

    - Housing because more housing supply via cheap diy earthbag homes, could put a dent in the housing crisis. 
    - Worker co-ops because companies ran for profit-only motives are evil. Look at dupont for an example. Because of them every living creature on earth has PFAS (Forever chemicals) in their gut. 

    A co-op though would be more open, and democratic and still motivated for profits because everybody gets dividends based on their points earned, and can vote on the way the company is ran or managed, and the money would also go to mutual-aid projects to help people in the network (consumers, workers, housing co-op members)
    - Consumer - because giving buyers mutual aid opportunities by being loyal customers keeps them loyal, encourages them to refer more business, and helps them when they're on hard times.