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I decided to move away from big tech for my children and myself

lof.flounder.online

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Re: I decided to move away from big tech for my children and myself

#271

Post by yumraj »

97s wrote: post #171

I have a son who is 11. All of his friends have smart phones. He will have friends over to the house and the friends will sit there and stare at their phones. My son who doesn't have a phone will be like, hey can you get off tiktok so we can play or go outside? It is rather sad to see this, they are hanging out sharing videos they find on their feeds through their phones. One time my son said, hey get off your phone…

I agree. I'm a little disappointed really to read so many people talk about kids becoming social pariah and how they're just going to teach kids how to use social networks responsibly.

My older did not get a cellphone till 9th grade, that too because the kid used to walk to school. I use pi-hole at home and the kid has never used FB, Instagram, Tiktok. Unfortunately kids use Discord for communicating, so had to allow that, but we had a discussion about the language to use on such platforms and so on. And, so far I believe the kid is fine since I didn't teach them to just use the social platforms responsibly, rather I taught them (I hope) to not use the social platforms at all except for messaging when absolutely necessary. Moreover I try to tell the kid to use browser as much as possible rather than get the apps.

And, for the record I don't use FB, IG, or any other platforms myself - so we lead by example.

So, far I have not heard much protest. What happens when the kid will be in college is anyone's guess. But I personally believe that teaching kids a mistrust of social networks is inherently better than trying to teach them how to use them responsibly, since I don't believe they can be used responsibly.

EDIT: to add, my kid uses DDG instead of Google for search. Does use Gmail, but also has own domain with custom emails. PS5 and Switch, but no network play. Changed password immediately when was forced to use Gmail on a public school computer once.. So, I guess we're just teaching kids different things.

Re: I decided to move away from big tech for my children and myself

#272

Post by AMerePotato »

I'm one of the oldest of generation Z born to parents who are the youngest of the boomers. I had completely unregulated access to the internet since age 7 because my parents weren't sophisticated enough to restrict me.

I understand just how manipulative addictive and dangerous the internet can be now. I've grown to be really paranoid about my own internet privacy. I think I would still allow my kid to use the internet unrestricted. I got into some shit I shouldn't have as a kid but it was overwhelmingly a positive impact.

That said, I would try and be very engaged in what my kid is doing on the internet in a supportive way so I would know if I needed to step in. I would schedule offline activities for them to limit screen time. I'd also try and steer them more heavily towards gaming which have social aspects to it, but less likely to cause self-esteem issues or rage-bait you than the social media platforms

Re: I decided to move away from big tech for my children and myself

#274

Post by SpicyLemonZest »

TomSwirly wrote: post #260
SpicyLemonZest wrote: post #225

Earlier quoted context omitted.

The replies focus on the children aspect because that strips away the most challenging counterargument: why shouldn't adults be able to decide, as many if not most do, that they do get lots of utility out of their phones and don't much care about being spied on incidentally? It's hard to tell a story where smartphones are more dangerous than smoking, and despite being completely illegal for kids we mostly let people…

> why shouldn't adults be able to decide Because the average adult is completely uninformed on this matter. And this is no fault of theirs - life is far, far too complicated and busy to become experts on the thousands of things we participate in. Luckily, we can rely on regulation. We plug in a new appliance and it doesn't blow up. Our cars rarely catch fire on the highway due to defects, and if they do, regulation a…

Sure. The original piece isn't proposing that social media just needs a couple regulations, though - the author says they're convinced social media is bad even without the effects of being monitored.

Re: I decided to move away from big tech for my children and myself

#276

Post by pawelmurias »

lrvick wrote: post #109
em-bee wrote: post #102

Earlier quoted context omitted.

it depends where you are. i agree with your ideas, and i'd like to get there too, but here where i am it is literally impossible to keep in touch with people without a smartphone. giving up that smartphone would result in complete isolation. but that doesn't mean i am addicted to social media stuff, just using messaging for the most part. but also, i grew up before smartphones and i learned to be somewhat disciplined…

In Silicon Valley where I am, everyone tells me it is impossible to live without one here too but that is just not true. I check matrix messages and emails and keep up with people and make plans to meet them when I am in my office, or in a stable location on a laptop. When I am on in the car, taking a walk, at dinner with my family... I don't need to be reachable at that moment. Society teaches you you need to be rea…

> The few that won't are not worth your time anyway.

It's fine to decide this for yourself, but it's a different thing to isolate your kids. It's hard for a lot of them to connect with peers and where you dad has surveillance capitalism paranoia that won't help.

Re: I decided to move away from big tech for my children and myself

#278

Post by [deleted] »

superlopuh wrote: post #267
jasonladuke0311 wrote: post #205

Earlier quoted context omitted.

This comment is hilarious. I've known like a dozen people who have experienced the exact scenario you mentioned.

It's kinda of funny but it was also my exact experience, I started buying sugary drinks like there was no tomorrow as soon as I had the freedom to do so, and was no longer living at my mothers's place. Put on quite a bit of weight and damaged health quite a bit in the process. This might not have happened if there was more of a conversation about healthy habits and limiting oneself. Maybe not.

[deleted]

Re: I decided to move away from big tech for my children and myself

#279

Post by Epiphany21 »

nisegami wrote: post #268
Epiphany21 wrote: post #242

Earlier quoted context omitted.

>why shouldn't adults be able to decide The majority of consumers are not tech-savvy enough to make informed decisions when it comes to electronics and their own freedom because the tech stack is just too complex, and even if they wanted to learn about it, most of the hardware and software is closed source and nearly impossible to modify. Most smartphone users don't even know that they're being spied on. To compound…

The majority of people aren't capable enough of making meaningful decisions about their political stances, but they can still vote.

That isn't true at all. Citizens in countries without puppet governments have no problem informing themselves and contacting their legislators to drive real change.

In a place like the US, you get the illusion of choice. It's quite literally red team and blue team, and proponents of this system treat it exactly like a sporting event. The average American has zero ability to get any law changed or enacted.

A great contemporary example is the right to repair activism. Most people are sick of the "throw it away and buy a new one" mentality, and a lot of them are becoming very vocal in their support. This could be an easy way for politicians to boost their popularity and get reelected while doing real good in a bipartisan manner. Instead, these politicians pay the crowds lip service, sit on their hands and drag their feet while making up any reason not to do it. They know full well that their continued enrichment is contingent on the bribes they take and the connections they have, not your votes.

Re: I decided to move away from big tech for my children and myself

#280

Post by PeterBarrett »

estaseuropano wrote: post #249
PeterBarrett wrote: post #10

I don't have kids yet but it is something that has been discussed about my nieces and nephews. As you say, you don't want your kids to become social pariahs but you also don't want to give them smart phones, in this day and age it looks like the two are intrinsically linked, which is disappointing. I would like to say that we can teach kids to have a healthy relationship with the internet and social media but sites l…

I used to lead policy on digital school education for an important organization advising governments on education policy. This was my driving concern: to fight against all the old grumpy people that don't understand and absolutely fear the digital world and think that all would be well if we ban 0s and 1s from school and force kids to go into the woods (not at all exaggerating on the latter part). There were also oth…

Well put, I agree with you and I'm happy to hear someone with a more informed opinion was giving input at a level that mattered.

As with most things in life, too far to either extreme and you will have problems. How can we expect our kids to cope if we ourselves are totally addicted ourselves or totally isolated from it all.

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