Hacker News Board Hacker News, browsed like a classic message board
Live data from Hacker News

I decided to move away from big tech for my children and myself

lof.flounder.online

Post reply on HN
Print view View original

261–270 of 305 posts

Re: I decided to move away from big tech for my children and myself

#261

Post by DavideNL »

thenerdhead wrote: post #244

I don't think there's a way out. I believe it's up to us to accept the reality that this problem is only going to get worse before it gets better. I firmly believe your tools as a parent is to start understanding concepts taught in Stoicism, Taoism, Buddhism, and more. The ideas around moderation, detachment, and effortless action should be praised. Technology is a tool if you consider these ideas. It can work for yo…

> I don't think there's a way out.

Well in the long run there is: laws. The EU is finally moving in the right direction at least.

So what we must do is vote for political parties that support this. And support/donate to people like https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Max_Schrems

But yea, it will get worse and take time before it gets better indeed.

Re: I decided to move away from big tech for my children and myself

#262

Post by ss108 »

97s wrote: post #171

I have a son who is 11. All of his friends have smart phones. He will have friends over to the house and the friends will sit there and stare at their phones. My son who doesn't have a phone will be like, hey can you get off tiktok so we can play or go outside? It is rather sad to see this, they are hanging out sharing videos they find on their feeds through their phones. One time my son said, hey get off your phone…

What about the useful aspects of being able to reach/keep tabs on your kid, have it available for them for emergencies, etc? Is it still possible to buy a flip-phone or something for such purposes?

I don't have a child, but I wouldn't mind buying them a Nokia brick once they are around 12 or 13 lol

Re: I decided to move away from big tech for my children and myself

#263

Post by polishdude20 »

97s wrote: post #171

I have a son who is 11. All of his friends have smart phones. He will have friends over to the house and the friends will sit there and stare at their phones. My son who doesn't have a phone will be like, hey can you get off tiktok so we can play or go outside? It is rather sad to see this, they are hanging out sharing videos they find on their feeds through their phones. One time my son said, hey get off your phone…

It's interesting to think that right now, at your son's age, most people have friends that are dictated by their classrooms and just the people forced to be around them from 9-3 every day.

I noticed as I finished high school and post secondary school, my friends became people who I actually wanted to hang out with. I had complete freedom to find others to socialize with that were more similar to me.

I guess my question is, how much of an impact does not having a smartphone when you're a teenager have when you reach adulthood? Based on what you've described with your son, it seems like he's benefitting more from not having one.

Re: I decided to move away from big tech for my children and myself

#264

Post by micromacrofoot »

97s wrote: post #188
micromacrofoot wrote: post #179

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Exercise a little caution if you can though, I was the kid without tv in their house and in middle school it resulted in having no friends and I resented my parents for it.

Do you mean because you didn't understand like common things with kids because you had no tv? Or because you were raised like completely different?

Both. In middle school I was ostracized as the weird kid that "doesn't even have a TV." No one wanted to come over to my house.

It mostly went away in high school, but middle school was terrible.

Re: I decided to move away from big tech for my children and myself

#265

Post by micromacrofoot »

abledon wrote: post #259
micromacrofoot wrote: post #256

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I could probably list at least a dozen punk songs about hating cops without breaking a sweat

please do, i would like to contrast it with the opening verses of the example song i gave https://genius.com/21-savage-red-opps-lyrics

There's literally a punk band called "MDC" which most recently stands for "millions of dead cops"

Overall there are probably enough anti-police punk songs to fill an entire genre of music.

Here are some of the prominent examples I could think of that beyond hating cops, are more directed threats:

https://genius.com/Terrorgruppe-all-comic-heroes-are-fascist...

"All cops are bastard, barbecue their dicks"

https://genius.com/The-dicks-anti-klan-part-one-lyrics

“I see that you’re a policeman, I know you’re in the Ku Klux Klan.”

https://genius.com/Mdc-lets-kill-all-the-cops-lyrics

"Lets kill all the cops and throw them in bags"

https://genius.com/Choking-victim-crack-rock-steady-lyrics

"Are you ready to stop the rotten blue menace? Let’s go kill us a cop"

Re: I decided to move away from big tech for my children and myself

#266

Post by lrvick »

chrisseaton wrote: post #172
lrvick wrote: post #125

Earlier quoted context omitted.

It should be illegal (if not already) to demand children accept data sharing agreements with private companies to participate in public education. That is what the teacher asking kids to use a Facebook product is doing. Speaking personally, if I end up with a kid in that situation, and they are limited in school in any way because they don't accept FAANG license agreements, I will take them to court and make a media…

> and make a media shit show out of it I doubt anyone in the media will care as much as you think they will.

The media will write about privacy issues if you hand them the right headline on a silver platter. See my "Japanese Robot hotel hack".

Re: I decided to move away from big tech for my children and myself

#267

Post by superlopuh »

jasonladuke0311 wrote: post #205
basedgod wrote: post #198

Earlier quoted context omitted.

ah yes the whole "Coca Cola corp. says you can't just ban your kids from drinking and eating sugar !!! then when they turn 18 they'll fall off the wagon and eat nothing but sugar ! better to have them eat it throughout their childhood so they KNOW how to avoid it" do you people ever try to have an independent thought outside of the propaganda of big business ? what kind of nonsense of this, that children should be ex…

This comment is hilarious. I've known like a dozen people who have experienced the exact scenario you mentioned.

It's kinda of funny but it was also my exact experience, I started buying sugary drinks like there was no tomorrow as soon as I had the freedom to do so, and was no longer living at my mothers's place. Put on quite a bit of weight and damaged health quite a bit in the process. This might not have happened if there was more of a conversation about healthy habits and limiting oneself. Maybe not.

Re: I decided to move away from big tech for my children and myself

#268

Post by nisegami »

Epiphany21 wrote: post #242
SpicyLemonZest wrote: post #225

Earlier quoted context omitted.

The replies focus on the children aspect because that strips away the most challenging counterargument: why shouldn't adults be able to decide, as many if not most do, that they do get lots of utility out of their phones and don't much care about being spied on incidentally? It's hard to tell a story where smartphones are more dangerous than smoking, and despite being completely illegal for kids we mostly let people…

>why shouldn't adults be able to decide The majority of consumers are not tech-savvy enough to make informed decisions when it comes to electronics and their own freedom because the tech stack is just too complex, and even if they wanted to learn about it, most of the hardware and software is closed source and nearly impossible to modify. Most smartphone users don't even know that they're being spied on. To compound…

The majority of people aren't capable enough of making meaningful decisions about their political stances, but they can still vote.

Re: I decided to move away from big tech for my children and myself

#269

Post by c22 »

Mordisquitos wrote: post #129
lelanthran wrote: post #67

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> I spent most of my childhood straight-edge and was thus cast out by peers for not joining them in their nonstop sex, alcohol, and drug addictions, and not being interested in sports. That's a false dichotomy - you posit that those things are the only alternatives, which is incorrect. I never did non-stop sex, drugs and alcohol (and ignored sports) in school, and yet I was part of a number of different social groupi…

> [...] and yet I was part of a number of different social groupings in school. While I share your objection on GP commenter's false dichotomy (though honesty who knows, maybe their high school was a real life enactment of Skins !) and their apparently judgemental attitude towards their peers, let's not forget that they also said they connected with: >> The computer nerds, the anime nerds, the hobbyists, the actors,…

Growing up I never hung out with the computer nerds, the anime nerds, or the hobbyists(?) but the actors, musicians, magicians, and artists I knew were definitely not straight-edge folks who avoided sex, drugs, and alcohol.

Re: I decided to move away from big tech for my children and myself

#270

Post by em-bee »

rglullis wrote: post #132
em-bee wrote: post #124

Earlier quoted context omitted.

good luck being the only parent asking for that when everyone else is fine with whatsapp. it's not just the school you need to convince but every other parent too.

No one can compel you to use WhatsApp. If the school says that they need to have mandatory communication with parents and children through some kind of system, it needs to be universal. In my kids' kita, I wasn't alone when I said that I didn't want to use WhatsApp. So we created a mailing list. Parents and teachers can still talk on whatsapp if they prefer, but any "official communication" needs to be through email.

it helps a lot if you have one or two allies who agree with you. but when you are the only one it feels very isolating, like everyone is against you. and not everyone is willing to put up a fight alone.
Post reply on HN