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I need to stop being boring

patzhong.com

231–240 of 258 posts

Re: I need to stop being boring

#231
post #198
post #141

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Same struggle. Except my elder daughter isn't "screaming and raging about the tiniest things" (yet). She's just... a total mess at a few things (self-motivation, self-awareness, responsibility, tact), constantly getting chastized by my wife. I don't have fun with my kids. I have no more friend in real life (even before the pandemic). I can't even play computer games when I want to because my kids take too darn long t…

I’ll try not to do the quote/respond thing too much, but a few things about this post concern me. > I don't have fun with my kids. I think that’s a serious problem. Personally, I would prioritize that over all the studying and activities. They are kids. Fun is their job. > I can't even play computer games when I want to because my kids take too darn long to finish their homework Let them do their homework on their ow…

Without understanding the OPs situation I would hesitate from giving advice. It’s really difficult to understand the root cause of peoples situations without knowing more about them.

Re: I need to stop being boring

#232

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Good schools are overrated, don't let them ruin your life

Easy to say this when you don't have 1 billion people also gunning for the opportunities you want (maybe less since they're in Hong Kong and not the mainland)

There’s definitely a lot of competition but 1 Billion is probably not the right number.

From the Wikipedia page for the examination required to get into Universities in HK, the number of test takers in 2020 is:

52,687 [0].

This doesn’t include students using international exams to get in, but that seems to be a fraction of this number.

Still very challenging but not 1 billion challenging.

[0]: https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hong_Kong_Diploma_of_Seconda...

Re: I need to stop being boring

#233

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> But, it was also true that both parents had WFH jobs (this was over a decade ago), extremely flexible schedules, and were very well off Well, exactly. Its easier to be creative if you don't have financial or time constraints.

With all of the tools we've built to optimize our time, you'd think we would be more creative.

Well, we do. But we don’t really use the time we save to do less work we generally use that time to do more.

Re: I need to stop being boring

#234
post #231
post #198

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I’ll try not to do the quote/respond thing too much, but a few things about this post concern me. > I don't have fun with my kids. I think that’s a serious problem. Personally, I would prioritize that over all the studying and activities. They are kids. Fun is their job. > I can't even play computer games when I want to because my kids take too darn long to finish their homework Let them do their homework on their ow…

Without understanding the OPs situation I would hesitate from giving advice. It’s really difficult to understand the root cause of peoples situations without knowing more about them.

Advice can be given at face value, and advice can be taken that way as well.

I suppose I should add a disclaimer, in case this wasn’t already implied: you don’t have to take any advice from other people.

Re: I need to stop being boring

#235
post #229

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Before I had kids I used to travel and voluntarily fight in foreign warzones, go into dangerous ghettos in countries like Paraguay, and go deep into forest for weeks in freezing weather that either a young child can't reliably survive or that the mother would never allow. Any of these things would most definitely get child services called were I to actually share I brought I child in that activity. Those are the thin…

I don't think volunteering to fight in warzones is compatible with being a parent, but it's also not something relevant to the experience of almost any person here :) The number of people who choose to do things like that is small. Most hobbies and goals are compatible with being a parent. Yours are not. If anybody else here reads this from a warzone they've entered voluntarily, don't take my comments above as releva…

Thank you for the advice friend, and well wishes to you and your family.

Re: I need to stop being boring

#236
post #234
post #231

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Without understanding the OPs situation I would hesitate from giving advice. It’s really difficult to understand the root cause of peoples situations without knowing more about them.

Advice can be given at face value, and advice can be taken that way as well. I suppose I should add a disclaimer, in case this wasn’t already implied: you don’t have to take any advice from other people.

[deleted]

Re: I need to stop being boring

#237
post #105

Earlier quoted context omitted.

2022 and developers still use Wordpress for what could be a static blog site

And pay for Wordpress sites too! I have a static Next.js site hosted on S3 and I don't pay anything to host it.

Exactly, it’s really sad people opt for Wordpress over that

Re: I need to stop being boring

#238
post #105

Earlier quoted context omitted.

2022 and developers still use Wordpress for what could be a static blog site

And pay for Wordpress sites too! I have a static Next.js site hosted on S3 and I don't pay anything to host it.

Most hosting providers offer a 1-click install of Wordpress, and you can begin creating content immediately after, with a WYSIWYG editor.

How to start a blog with your stack? Do I need an AWS account just for the s3 bucket? Do I need to know javascript? Is there a visual editor?

How do I explain the whole process to my non-tech friend, who can start a Wordpress blog in 5 minutes on most hosting providers?

It's not as easy at it seems (quote dropbox comment).

Re: I need to stop being boring

#239

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I think folks' mileage vary significantly on this, and partly due to a distinction I'd make between being bored and not having energy. I used to know a family that was as creative as folks would come (immediate family had renowned authors, world class academics, illustrator, etc.), and it was clear that the children played such a central role in continuing to foster a culture that was very creative and "alive." But,…

> But, it was also true that both parents had WFH jobs (this was over a decade ago), extremely flexible schedules, and were very well off Well, exactly. Its easier to be creative if you don't have financial or time constraints.

I don't think this holds true as generally as might seem obvious. Personally I become much more productive and much more creative when I have serious pressure on me. I think art history also speaks to this if you think about all the artists who did their best work (or all their work) under very difficult conditions such as poverty, abuse or simply having been pressed for time.

Re: I need to stop being boring

#240

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> you won't be a burden on society when you're older, having no one left to care about you except the nursing home staff, thanks for your concern, but I'm not concerned :) > help continue the human race, which is always good. I disagree, which is part of why I'm not having kids!

Of course you aren't concerned NOW...in 30 or 40 years you certainly will be. But then, you appear to be a nihilistic antinatalist, so there are clearly other issues at play here.

> you appear to be a nihilistic antinatalist, so there are clearly other issues at play here.

The only issue I see is you taking the way others live their lives so personally lol

> Of course you aren't concerned NOW...in 30 or 40 years you certainly will be.

Looks like you've never met people who are happy without having kids. Meet some and come back to me, and I think our convo will be more productive

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