I need to stop being boring • Hacker News Board

Re: I need to stop being boring

#171

Post by hungryforcodes » Wed, Apr 06, 2022, 4:47 PM UTC

PragmaticPulp wrote: post #47

> I lost my creativity and the sense of wonder I used to have in childhood. I am no longer curious because I am settled for the world as it is. I accept things the way they are instead of imagining how they could be. I was starting to feel this way before I had kids, but having kids completely changed everything for the more interesting. It’s funny because it’s the exact opposite of what I was told would happen: The…

If there is one category of people who are extremely borinf its parents. I have no kids and the world opens up to me. I can travel where I want, date who I want, read what I like and engage in interesting discussions with people on the street that I've just randomly met.

When I hang out with my parent friends they have one mono topic of conversation: their kids and related subjects.

Re: I need to stop being boring

#172

Post by jkingsbery » Wed, Apr 06, 2022, 4:48 PM UTC

The best way for one to stop being boring is to not write a post about how one must stop being boring. The best way to stop being boring is to write a post about all the interesting and exciting things there are that have nothing (or very little) to do with one's self.

Re: I need to stop being boring

#173

Post by m3kw9 » Wed, Apr 06, 2022, 5:19 PM UTC

Isn’t this wonderful? This is why the competition is tough, assuming you want to make it with building new apps. There is so much obstacles and this is just one of them you’ve listed(a detrimental mental state). But if you can fix it one by one, that will cut you through the top.

Re: I need to stop being boring

#174

Post by jokethrowaway » Wed, Apr 06, 2022, 5:20 PM UTC

k_sze wrote: post #154

efitz wrote: post #149

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Why do you keep doing things that don't make you happy? Why do you feel the need to do so many extra-curricular activities related to child education? Can't you take your kids to the park, show them stuff and talk to them about it? One of the cool things that most adults forget about childhood is that everything is new for kids. Even stuff that kids are used to; they have really only scratched the surface of- they ha…

> Why do you feel the need to do so many extra-curricular activities related to child education? Because this is Hong Kong, and if you want to get into a good high school, and then a good university later in life, this is what you do here, unless either A) your kid has really high IQ and would skip years or B) you are rich and don't mind just paying your way through international schools. My kids are not case A), and…

Good schools are overrated, don't let them ruin your life

Re: I need to stop being boring

#175

Post by swframe2 » Wed, Apr 06, 2022, 5:22 PM UTC

I got stuck in a game. My 12 year-old offered to help. Within a few minutes he solved several problems that had blocked me for days.

It reminds me of the intel tik/tok product cycle. Look inside for a while then look outside for a while.

Re: I need to stop being boring

#176

Post by jokethrowaway » Wed, Apr 06, 2022, 5:25 PM UTC

kevmo314 wrote: post #111

PragmaticPulp wrote: post #47

> I lost my creativity and the sense of wonder I used to have in childhood. I am no longer curious because I am settled for the world as it is. I accept things the way they are instead of imagining how they could be. I was starting to feel this way before I had kids, but having kids completely changed everything for the more interesting. It’s funny because it’s the exact opposite of what I was told would happen: The…

I have the totally opposite experience. Everyone I know who has kids is bored: they've given up on their side projects and resigned themselves to jobs they constantly complain about but can't leave because they need to support their family. So I'm not sure having kids really matters here. I think the mindset change is more important. It's easy to forget that the world has so many interesting things to pick up and do…

It could be they didn't have enough money to have kids.

Nowadays most families can't afford kids at the same standard of, let's say 40 years ago with the same amount of parents time.

I think it's crucial to be at home for kids and at maximum one working parent working full time

Re: I need to stop being boring

#177

Post by idleproc » Wed, Apr 06, 2022, 5:32 PM UTC

MrWiffles wrote: post #157

nonrandomstring wrote: post #16

> So what went wrong? My gut feeling is that I am boring. A lot of pain seems to come from a poor vocabulary about feelings. What is boring? It's a weak and flattened word like the feelings it's used about. Do you mean avolition, acedia, irascibility, dissatisfaction, insensibility, repression, discouragement, ambivalence, anxiety? The Psychology of the Emotions by Neal Burton is a fair place to continue the introspe…

For anyone wondering what this person means when he says: > All progress depends upon the unreasonable man. Let me share with you one of my all time favorite quotes, from George Bernard Shaw[1]: >“The reasonable man adapts himself to the world: the unreasonable one persists in trying to adapt the world to himself. Therefore all progress depends on the unreasonable man.” While Shaw himself was a controversial figure e…

I would like to point out that this quote comes from Shaw's play 'Man and Superman'. Specifically, from an appendix to the play 'Maxims for Revolutionists'[1], written by the character John Tanner.

Have a read through some of the other maxims and make your own mind up as to the author's viewpoint.

[1] https://en.wikisource.org/wiki/Man_and_Superman/Maxims_for_R...

Re: I need to stop being boring

#178

Post by jokethrowaway » Wed, Apr 06, 2022, 5:33 PM UTC

SketchySeaBeast wrote: post #89

100011_100001 wrote: post #87

Earlier quoted context omitted.

This is very true. Stressors allow you to grow. One of the weird things is seeing friends that never had kids be exactly the same 10-20 years later, doing the same things, talking about the same stuff. It always shows me how much I have grown and how much they haven't. I am in my 40s, and it's weird seeing my friends of 20 years remain static. The only ones that have changed are either people with children or a big c…

Is it growth or simply change? There's an implication with "growth" that somehow you've become greater or better in some way. Is that the case, or are you just more focused on being a parent because that's who you have changed into?

You could argue you are better because you know more.

I'm still a software engineer and into fitness. After having kids I also had some experience with parenting.

By observing kids development you can also understand and experience how people grow into the adults you see everyday and I definitely think I understand psychology more.

Being a parent is also a great journey of self discovery. You'll learn how you react to stress, you'll realise things about your own childhood, you may uncover a series of problems you may have.

As much as I loved to think of myself as someone thinking older than my age, I was definitely less mature before having kids.

Re: I need to stop being boring

#179

Post by folkrav » Wed, Apr 06, 2022, 5:39 PM UTC

kevmo314 wrote: post #155

folkrav wrote: post #144

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> Everyone I know who has kids is bored: they've given up on their side projects and resigned themselves to jobs they constantly complain about but can't leave because they need to support their family. Bored and giving up side-projects are two different things. I did give up side-projects after having my son, but it's far from being boring. As for the job thing... I guess you don't frequent that many people with kid…

Definitely don't appreciate the conclusion that I just know unhappy people. As I mentioned, I don't think having kids has anything to do with it.

I said you just happen to know unhappy people, not that you only know unhappy people.

Re: I need to stop being boring

#180

Post by jokethrowaway » Wed, Apr 06, 2022, 5:50 PM UTC

willcipriano wrote: post #60

levesque wrote: post #50

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Tell that to my very burnt out parent friends! YMMV

What they are really saying is "It was fun (going to the bar/playing video games/whatever) with you when we were young, but I'm not young anymore and have a family to spend time with, I wish you had one too so I could invite you to family oriented activities." but knowing that you won't understand they say they are too busy and tired.

It can also just be an excuse and they don't want to hang out with you.

The reason I started thinking about having a family is that I was done with partying.

The idea of going out for drinks doesn't sound too appealing, but it's the popular thing to say