This is my story. I hope it helps. A few years ago now, I went through the most traumatic experience of my life. In a moment, all of my thoughts about how life was, is or was going to be were shattered. I didn't sleep a full night for about a year following. From that moment on, I was in the grips of the most terrible depression - mixed with anxiety - I've ever faced. I woke up every day feeling that my life was wort…
> without needing to saturate myself with intense stimuli (ie: competitive video games) just to keep the rumination at bay
I can relate to this so much. I have racked up countless hours (literal thousands...) on competitive games over the last decade or so, mostly as a coping mechanism. I have stopped a bunch of times because I realized even if I was good at these games I didn't actually enjoy them, I just played them because they masked the other things I was feeling.