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Exit interviews are a trap

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Re: Exit interviews are a trap

#361

Post by anm89 »

karaterobot wrote: post #339
aroundtown wrote: post #99

I made the mistake and told the truth one time early in my career. I got fired, err... I wasn't retained after a multi-month temp period, and was brought in to be fired, then exit interviewed. I was upset, but stuck to the truth. My direct boss was passive aggressive, didn't like me, and excluded me from the team. His code was awful, in the long term wasn't maintainable, and wouldn't be able to meet the needs of the…

It should have been HR that interviewed you, and your direct boss should not have been given specific information that would make them hold a grudge about anything you said. Sounds like that company has some issues.

What does "should" mean here? You seem to be implying that there is exactly one correct way to handle this which there is broad consensus on.

If so where can i go read the rule book for the correct answers on all of managing people for all human endeavors?

It reminds me of people who are convinced that there is one true way to do "agile" and that every one who disagrees is somehow subjectively wrong because some blog post from some guy who went to some meeting 40 years ago kind of agrees with them.

Ok. Good luck with that.

Re: Exit interviews are a trap

#362

Post by scrollbar »

cloudyporpoise wrote: post #359

I've had two exit interviews and I was brutally honest on both, and both times I ended up forming stronger relationships as a result of my brutal honesty. The first time I left for significantly more money, so it's an easy way to leave on good terms. During my exit interview, I gave honest feedback about the pay-scales and where I thought pay should be. After my departure, my entire team and the incoming new hires we…

Great description and agreed.

I had a similar experience with a bad manager, with similar outcomes. CEO and CTO felt bad about the issues, said they respected me for how I handled the situation, offered a severance even though I was with the company for only a short time, and offered to introduce me to others to help with the next step of career. Similarly I burned the bridge with that manager... good riddance. Years later I find out they fired the manager after a year, and that the CTO still thinks favorably of me.

Re: Exit interviews are a trap

#363

Post by emidln »

cloudyporpoise wrote: post #359

I've had two exit interviews and I was brutally honest on both, and both times I ended up forming stronger relationships as a result of my brutal honesty. The first time I left for significantly more money, so it's an easy way to leave on good terms. During my exit interview, I gave honest feedback about the pay-scales and where I thought pay should be. After my departure, my entire team and the incoming new hires we…

I've given exit interviews on occasion and they've been generally beneficial as well. One kept the door open to return to the company a year later with the money I asked for and mandate to do the things I said I wanted to do when I left. The other helped the company after I left to course correct and bought me free drinks whenever I'm in a particular town. If I'm leaving it's likely just a business decision (whether informed by management, direction, or dollars) and there's no reason to close the door on future business (with that company, those coworkers, or investors) to revel in some spiteful comments.

Re: Exit interviews are a trap

#364

Post by mLuby »

Ancalagon wrote: post #241
bsnnkv wrote: post #146

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I feel like people like this are fair game for naming and shaming.

Disagree. You can ask in private but DOXXing somebody via HN/Reddit hivemind is a no-go without proper evidence. 1 anecdote does not suffice in this case (sorry OP, I do believe you though)

Right. Might open the poster up to libel litigation too, which AFAIK means you'd have to prove the accusation's truth.

Re: Exit interviews are a trap

#365

Post by hluska »

throw1230 wrote: post #338
jallen_dot_dev wrote: post #305

Earlier quoted context omitted.

You are sealioning with all of these questions and accusations. This isn't a trial, aroundtown doesn't need to divulge all of the evidence in order to share their anecdote here. You've made an unfair judgement without knowing them or their boss.

I've made a judgment about the event with what I have read. I have no intention to bully anyone. My point is clear, we are only reading one side of the story and I don't see an iota of maturity in the story he described. Therefore I also don't believe that his manager called everyone in the town to tell them not to hire him. We don't even know the feedback was sent out to his manager. Maybe the other employers figure…

And again, this isn’t a trial and aroundtown doesn’t have to share all their evidence. Why not just take it as an anecdote and leave it? You’ve repeated this theme enough now that it sure seems like bullying. Would you just let it go?

Re: Exit interviews are a trap

#366

Post by stocknoob »

bradlys wrote: post #265
fleddr wrote: post #233

You should definitely go to an exit interview. In the case of a sour breakup, you should 100% lie. Just say it was great but you were in need for a change. Don't dramatize the lying part because you lied to get in and the employer lied about how great their company is. Work is a lie, play the game. In the case of a drama-free breakup, when pressed for feedback and the room being receptive of it, do share your thought…

> Work is a lie, play the game. If there’s any advice I could ever give anyone who has any amount of integrity and tries to live an honest life - it’s this alone. If you don’t play the game - you’re not playing the game everyone else is and you will always lose in the end. Extremely painful to deal with for bright eyed young folks or those switching industries thinking things might be different.

The long-term solution is to pursue financial independence so you don’t have to walk on eggshells around the emperor, and can be your authentic self.

Re: Exit interviews are a trap

#367

Post by xenadu02 »

I know you see people in this thread saying exit interviews are a trap and others saying they are really productive.

Both are true.

At crappy companies with bad management exit interviews are a trap. At good companies they can be very productive. It is often difficult to tell which kind you are dealing with so staying positive, not attacking specific people, etc is just a way to play it safe. It allows you to give some feedback if you want to but without putting yourself at risk.

Re: Exit interviews are a trap

#368

Post by [deleted] »

Ancalagon wrote: post #348
brailsafe wrote: post #342

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Does this amount to doxxing though? Naming someone or a company in a public forum is one thing, posting their home address and phone number is different

what if that person has a particularly identifiable name? It wouldnt be hard to guess who it was in that case by searching for their name on LinkedIn, noting their geographic history, and guessing at which (tech or otherwise) companies the manager has worked at. What's more, a common name might mean multiple people get harassed via that same method due to poor detective skills.

[deleted]

Re: Exit interviews are a trap

#369

Post by snarkerson »

My exit interview early in my career lead directly to a job later in my career. It was a clean breakup and the HR person and I had nice chat about all sorts of work and non work things.

Years later they were a consultant helping fill positions at a small company. They happily moved my CV to the top because they remembered me and the fun exit interview. Probably added more to the offer too as it was generous.

Re: Exit interviews are a trap

#370

Post by hluska »

yebyen wrote: post #317
mindcrime wrote: post #293

Earlier quoted context omitted.

How about another scenario: you later find yourself working under the same person, who you made like you by giving them useful feedback in your exit interview. Or you later find yourself working with one of your ex-coworkers again, who saw one of their major pain-points at that previous job go away because of your exit interview. Sure, those things could happen. But those of us arguing against being overly honest in…

> But many (most?) people don't suffer criticism well in my experience - and this seems to be especially true of the people who are most worthy of being criticized. This is definitely a cultural thing, I brought this up with my team recently, the concept of "negative feedback" and got two different reactions – my feedback to the team was about how we give negative feedback, and nobody at all agreed with that phrasing…

I only notice shit sandwiches if the compliments are obviously bullshit. If they ring somewhat true, it’s just a balanced meeting with positives and negatives.

But the second I hear a bullshit compliment, I feel like I’m about to get a sales pitch.

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