501–510 of 568 posts
If you want to accelerate the process and not wait…
2) make it a point to interact socially every day with new people who share your interests
3) force yourself to do public speaking
4) spend less time with people who point out that you are socially awkward- avoid them. They aren’t helping your confidence and are holding you back.
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This comment contains no advice. It just tells that all the tracks I’ve tried are wrong/not useful (in your books, at least).
It contains a lot of advice. Like: - stop treating people like NPCs in game, because it makes you look like a simpleton not them - "scoring" is not the goal, living life is - being interesting as a person is much more than "working out", "playing guitar" - if you try to "score" you seem like desperate loser, people see right through it - amount of money in bank account does not mean much if you are desperate loser -…
The lengths that are required for people to acknowledge a problem… The “it must be you” answer.
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Just please commit to it. I suspect organizations that use volunteers would rather have someone reliably there than someone who shows up a few times and quits.
That shouldn't matter unless the organization gives a clear expectation of the commitment level the volunteer would need to provide. Most places prefer any/all volunteers they can get (remember it's free labor and typically spawned by a person wanting to do something good for a community)
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What tells you I wanted people to believe I were these things? I did guitar because it was nice to sing, and the idea of singing around a bonfire and maybe making people sing was just a good feeling. I sang the last song of a friend who died from cancer, and that was a song we had written together. He went for his last sleep on it, that’s the best departure I could imagine for him. Unfortunately, I plateaued at some…
I want to help, but you actually supported my point. You learnt guitar because you wanted the good feeling of people joining in you, which is the feeling of admiration. You've supposedly been very successful and are caring of your friends, so I might be wrong of course. But it sounds like a case of socialmedia addiction along with incel-esk belief that if you matched a certain image, women would simply line up. You s…
Well, look around you, everyone gets their minute on stage, my schoolmates literally were into acting and showing off all the time. Even the thief of the band is with a cute girl now lol. But about ego-fuelled passions: the more everyone has a skill at making something beautiful, the more fun are your parties, because they all add up. So, it’s good to learn stuff, and I mostly want my participation trophy for bringing my share.
> You are supposedly caring of your friends
Yeah I was the one caring for the cancer friend while everyone had swimming pool. I was his worst political enemy when alive, he would have punched me if he had known my opinions, and here I was, his worst enemy, playing him his own song for his last breath, and none of his commie friends were here. Two days later his mother called me saying he never woke up. I was the last guy he saw, and not randomly, I was there every second day despite being 120km away. Me, the guy seen as selfish.
> But it sounds like a case of socialmedia addiction along with incel-esk belief that if you matched a certain image, women would simply line up.
Can you technically describe it in a worse way? I think it’s a case of when a man isn’t successful, we blame him, and we depict him as the worst possible man, like expecting to “have pussy lined up like in the good ol’ times, cause you know, I’m all muscles and virility, big car with big sound, so women dishwasher blahblahblah.” I’m not this man. I’m just angry because I’m losing at life, and everyone caricatures me. I might just not be talented socially despite making all attempts respectfully (and making all attempts respectfully is what girls hate the most - even wifebeaters have a wife, I don’t) but it’s easier to imagine an incel chad, because the goal is to find a way to blame it on the guy.
> You should do things because they are your passion. To test this, is there a skill you're proud of and promote as your image that would not be seen as classically attractive?
Yes, my work: I love building products and participating to the economic world, notably because it’s what I do best, but also because it makes everyone’s life better. Belonging to a charity is equally important. I also like windsurfing and guitar, but I’m average in both. But do realize that no woman is interested in a no-life worker with average level in two things, so yes, men have to adapt and do social stuff which puts them forward, preferably stuff that are halfway towards meeting women on a common ground. So according to your theory (for the return caricature, don’t take it literally), I should now be more seducing because I’m passionate in something. Actually, technically, you are saying not that I should be passionate, but I should be having a “stunning score” in that passion, so being excellent is required.
I think all of those are wrong leads. I think we as men should develop skills in many areas, guitar and windsurf included, and make a living and care for others around us, and girls should like us for who we are, and the fact that I’m not in, is both an unfortunate turn of events AND a very very very high hypocrisy of society about the incredible lack of consideration we give to men. And, perhaps, that society pushes so much into making diversity fashionable, that you really have to give “way more” of yourself as a white straight man, if you want a woman to accept you. And sorry, but I don’t want to be a slave to a woman, and I don’t want either to cheat her ego by flattering her with untrue stuff like so many are doing.
I’m crying because, writing this text, I notice I did so many things right, and I’m still losing at life and people still turn the blame back onto me. It’s an endless roundrobbin of blame, no-one will ever say “Ok guys, we did a mistake as a society, all wifebeaters have a wife, while regular workers get an annoying couple or no wife at all, while people who lie to women drown in pussy. That’s not good for anyone involved.”
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“Attitude” doesn’t make a difference. It makes no sense for anyone to bury their head in the sand and ignore reality. I took action early on. - I’ve been in above average shape for most of my adult life - I’m in my late 40s - I spent a 10+ year stint as a part time fitness instructor. Then life got crazy - By BigTech standards my compensation is meh. But I work remotely for BigTech in a mid cost of living area - I’ve…
What people say is not important, obviously no-one will say that, but in practice nobody cares how tall Mick Jagger is, or Gabe in The Office.
Gabe from the office - famous, rich, talented.
You kind of just proved my point.
I’m by no means an incel. But things might have turned out differently if I did have the “third strike”.
My wife of 10 years would and has been with me through thick and thin and I’m 100% confident that she will be no matter what. But I doubt she would have given a 36 year old (at the time) the time of day if I had been 5 foot 5, 350 pounds, flipping burgers at McDonalds and yelling at her “hey shawty, give me dem digits”.
And before the woke police chastise me for picking on “urban Black culture”, not only are “some of my best friends Black”, so are my parents and all of my family.
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What people say is not important, obviously no-one will say that, but in practice nobody cares how tall Mick Jagger is, or Gabe in The Office.
Mick Jagger - famous, rich, talented. Gabe from the office - famous, rich, talented. You kind of just proved my point. I’m by no means an incel. But things might have turned out differently if I did have the “third strike”. My wife of 10 years would and has been with me through thick and thin and I’m 100% confident that she will be no matter what. But I doubt she would have given a 36 year old (at the time) the time…
No idea why you'd say Gabe is famous rich and talented. I'm talking about the character, he's none of those things. No girl would ever look at him, tall or not.
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The cold hard truth that I realized I long time ago is what I call the “two strikes rule”. When you are short (as am I), you already have two strikes against you in society. You can’t be “short and” - short and broke, short and mean, short and shy, short and fat (which I was until I was 18).
I am a short male in my mid twenties and I am also getting to the same conclusion. If you're short, you need to work harder. There is no chance you can be unfit, fat or awekward. You will be screwed. But honestly, sometimes I feel like it's a good blessing. It pushes you to improve many aspects of your life. You want to be successful in your career, you want to work harder, you want to excercise like there is no tomo…
I'm sure this is true, I've noticed a lot of the best football playing kids in my son's circles are short, and often immigrants.
> There is no chance you can be unfit, fat or awekward
This is just as true if you're tall. You don't get away with being fat or awkward if you're tall. The only thing is that, ceteris paribus, it's more desirable. It doesn't really cancel any other shortcoming.
1) get older If you want to accelerate the process and not wait… 2) make it a point to interact socially every day with new people who share your interests 3) force yourself to do public speaking 4) spend less time with people who point out that you are socially awkward- avoid them. They aren’t helping your confidence and are holding you back.
5) Militantly maintain a healthy diet - i.e. NO alcohol or sugar (ever), no processed foods (ever), watch carbs and focus on protein/fat, NO industrial seed oils.
6) Fast intermittently. This means limit your eating to an 8 hour window every day. Your body should be forced to burn fat daily at the end of the 16 hour window where you don't eat. Eat a late lunch and early dinner only.
7) Lift heavy weights every other day - make sure you consume enough protein to repair your muscles (whey protein isolate is great just before and after you lift weights)
8) No "diet" drinks EVER. Drink water. Filter out the fluoride - you do not want this crap in your body, it's a neurotoxin. Take turmeric extract daily, along with vitamin D 5000 IU and 1mg of Vitamin C.
9) Get some hydroxyapatite powder sourced from cow bones (not the nano stuff, it's dangerous) and use that to remineralize your teeth instead of fluoride. Consider switching to a non-fluoride toothpaste, or be extra careful to rinse all of the fluoridated toothpaste out of your mouth if you choose to continue using fluoridated toothpaste. Fluoride is a neurotoxin, and your social anxiety could be related to this or other toxins we're encouraged to consume daily.
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Decriminalized, probably. But I really don’t want to live in a world where heroin is advertised and marketed without restriction. At least not until we figure out how to make humans less fucking stupid when it comes to things that can addict us for life. I mean, can you imagine if McDonalds marketing budget was spent pushing meth instead?
You say this like McDonalds food isn't already habit forming Heroin and other opiates need to be available over the counter at a store. This is the only way to remove the black market and the fentanyl tainted supply. If you just decriminalize, people still won't be able to get it and will have to go through a black market. The market doesn't need to be a free for all, we can choose to make advertising the compounds i…
I said this because McDonalds has already proven that they can do a lot of damage to people with just food.