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Ask HN: If you used to be socially awkward and shy, how did you improve?

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191–200 of 568 posts

Re: Ask HN: If you used to be socially awkward and shy, how did you improve?

#191
Drugs, drugs, drugs.

It's not about cheating or becoming dependent, although those are real concerns. But what drugs do, is to push you past a boundary that you would not otherwise cross yourself. They essentially help you realize and experience what it feels like to be relaxed, confident, mentally turned on, assertive, bubbly, etc. Once you feel it, you start to learn how to get there without the push. Although that does require self-awareness and introspection.

As some have mentioned, the safest and most effective one is alcohol. One or two glasses of white wine should do to start with. I personally find any hard liquor to be terrible in this regard. Personally, alcohol lets me keep a more natural eye contact and mellows my movements and facial expression.

Caffeine helps me think fast and be on, and it lifts my mood up and makes me talkative in social situations (sometimes a little too much). I've picked up techniques that helps me get there without caffeine.

I found phenibut to be an eye-opener when it came to feeling relaxed in muscles. Helped with my posture and breathing. Up to that point, I literally did not know how to loosen my abs and chest muscles to get a nice straight back. It even helped me walk more steady and confident. The confidence that comes from a good posture surprisingly translates into better social interactions! I only took phenibut once a week or so for a few months many years ago and stopped. The learning stays with me to date.

Beta-blockers have helped me stay chill under stress. I'm very prone to stress and panic attacks. This one's a quick fixer - haven't learnt anything from this one.

Magnesium also has a chill effect and it's something you can actually take on regular basis for other benefits.

As always, read about whatever you're about to try, thoroughly and only from scientific sources.

Re: Ask HN: If you used to be socially awkward and shy, how did you improve?

#193
post #87

Ecstasy. I had massive problems speaking with people. I ended up going to a rave with some friends, took some molly, had an amazing time talking to people and then realized that if I could do that with a drug then I could probably do it without a drug. (I haven’t done e in over a decade). I still had some issues with public speaking so during my mba I forced myself to give every presentation possible. This largely so…

Worked for me too.

Note to readers, before you try it you should know the difference between ecstacy, molly/mandy and MDMA. The drug you want is MDMA. Do your research[0] and this drug will be safer than climbing a mountain or something (and way safer than alcohol). Very few people have actually died from this drug but you should understand why they died.

[0] https://erowid.org/chemicals/mdma/mdma_basics.shtml

Re: Ask HN: If you used to be socially awkward and shy, how did you improve?

#194
post #191

Drugs, drugs, drugs. It's not about cheating or becoming dependent, although those are real concerns. But what drugs do, is to push you past a boundary that you would not otherwise cross yourself. They essentially help you realize and experience what it feels like to be relaxed, confident, mentally turned on, assertive, bubbly, etc. Once you feel it, you start to learn how to get there without the push. Although that…

Actually before alcohol, I would look at kava for a gabaergic to reduce social anxiety or kratom as a modulator of social motivation. They both work quite well if used at the right times in the right amounts

Re: Ask HN: If you used to be socially awkward and shy, how did you improve?

#195
post #164
post #87

Ecstasy. I had massive problems speaking with people. I ended up going to a rave with some friends, took some molly, had an amazing time talking to people and then realized that if I could do that with a drug then I could probably do it without a drug. (I haven’t done e in over a decade). I still had some issues with public speaking so during my mba I forced myself to give every presentation possible. This largely so…

Quoted post unavailable.

It did for me. I can't explain why. But I have not been the same since I took it and my life has been better.

Re: Ask HN: If you used to be socially awkward and shy, how did you improve?

#196
post #164
post #87

Ecstasy. I had massive problems speaking with people. I ended up going to a rave with some friends, took some molly, had an amazing time talking to people and then realized that if I could do that with a drug then I could probably do it without a drug. (I haven’t done e in over a decade). I still had some issues with public speaking so during my mba I forced myself to give every presentation possible. This largely so…

Quoted post unavailable.

> But none of those drugs will result in the long-term change that you’re looking for

I mean, it literally did, and I stated as such.

Obviously the drug itself was not enough. The scenario and the realization afterword also mattered. But without mdma my life would likely have been very different.

Also, unlike cocaine etc. mdma isn’t addictive - taking more and more of it just results in you feeling shittier for longer.

Re: Ask HN: If you used to be socially awkward and shy, how did you improve?

#197
post #87

Ecstasy. I had massive problems speaking with people. I ended up going to a rave with some friends, took some molly, had an amazing time talking to people and then realized that if I could do that with a drug then I could probably do it without a drug. (I haven’t done e in over a decade). I still had some issues with public speaking so during my mba I forced myself to give every presentation possible. This largely so…

Not the first time I’ve heard of this.

Oxytocin agonism is some good shit

Re: Ask HN: If you used to be socially awkward and shy, how did you improve?

#198

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Not the first time I’ve heard of this.

Same. Can't wait for this stuff to be studied and legalized at least for meditional use over the next 20 years (if we're being realistic on timelines for this)

It needs to be fully legalized, along with all other drugs. Prohibition only makes things worse

Re: Ask HN: If you used to be socially awkward and shy, how did you improve?

#199
post #181
post #172

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> But none of those drugs will result in the long-term change that you’re looking for. Grandparent states: “and then realized that if I could do that with a drug then I could probably do it without a drug. (I haven’t done e in over a decade).”

I don’t think taking MDMA is a prerequisite to realizing that you can become a different person. If one is to take drugs for that purpose, LCD or mushrooms would be much better - insofar as safely realizing that your day to day cognition is not as static as you might assume.

I’ve taken both lsd and mushrooms (the latter were perfectly legal in the UK and were openly sold in London high street stores). Both were interesting but neither helped in the same way.

Re: Ask HN: If you used to be socially awkward and shy, how did you improve?

#200
post #181
post #172

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> But none of those drugs will result in the long-term change that you’re looking for. Grandparent states: “and then realized that if I could do that with a drug then I could probably do it without a drug. (I haven’t done e in over a decade).”

I don’t think taking MDMA is a prerequisite to realizing that you can become a different person. If one is to take drugs for that purpose, LCD or mushrooms would be much better - insofar as safely realizing that your day to day cognition is not as static as you might assume.

Not a requirement but a catalyst. It makes it happen faster than it would have otherwise
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