241–250 of 287 posts
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Live in a non recourse state And buy real estate with leverage. heads you win big tails you walk away with fixed losses
Wait, what? There are states where I can buy a million dollar house with a loan, and if I default they can only take the house, not the value of the loan? If someone told me that 10 years ago, I might have made different life choices.
I wish I had known the truth about romantic relationships. Would have saved me a lot of trouble: - Women are not all the same. Men are not all the same. There is no single approach. What works for your friend won't necessarily work for you, because you're different people and thus after different things. - "pick up lines" and pick-up-artist techniques and all that kind of bullshit are just that: bullshit. At best you…
While I agree fundamentally about not changing yourself for others, but if the change is positive in both of your accounts, try to go for it. E.g. if someone is morbidly obese and their partner wants him to loose weight by getting into the habit of diet/exercise, I really don’t see no evil here.
In your 30s, if you are waiting to have kids for various reasons, you really need to stop delaying. Your probability of successfully having kids goes down every year, and by your early 40s your options for medical help if you have infertility stop being available because even those interventions lose effectiveness. If you want kids, just have the kids. You're not going to care that you were being responsible and wait…
"If you want kids, just have the kids" sounds very irresponsible - a good way to create a lot of suffering. It is not a decision you can reverse. You should give it a lot more thought than to choosing your career, where/how you live, or to getting a pet. It is shocking that so often it is the opposite, and people 'yolo' into this decision. If anything, you should err on the side of not having children, unless you are…
There are definitely bad times. But many of the things you mention contradict each other?
Can I afford children? Get a well paying job. Well paying jobs require more hours. That means you have less time to dedicate to your kids.
Realistically, unless you have at least $500,000 saved up, you’re taking a financial gamble having kids.
If they have serious medical issues, any amount of money could be wiped out.
I’d argue there are probably too many people who should be having kids not having kids, than people who shouldn’t be having kids having kids.
Both are obviously happening. And in probably biased because I know so many childless software engineers who make six figures.
But there really, really never is a good time.
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Yes, I had no idea "advanced maternal age" was only 35
It's the type of thing only a doctor can say. I mentioned it off-hand to an ex-girlfriend and was called a sexist (not in an angry/confrontational way, but pretty much dismissed equally off-hand).
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It's not that we have too many mouths to feed, it's that we have too many selfish people in positions of leadership and authority who exploit the masses to line their own pockets. Having 50% less people would reduce the overall hunger numbers, but not the ratio.
> Having 50% less people would reduce the overall hunger numbers, but not the ratio. This argument is flawed because of the we're consuming significantly more resources then our planet could provide sustainably. Increasing the quantity of consumers will always be detrimental for as long as resources are finite.
And don’t forget minimizing waste - which is another major part of the picture.
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Reproduction is a baseline biological function and I will never agree that participating is "selfish." We're not going to see eye-to-eye here.
Just because it is a biological prerogative does not mean that it doesn't cause suffering. I've seen lions eat gazelle babies straight out of the womb, is that not suffering? Now, that is an extreme example, but people having kids in a bad environment, just because they can, can cause undue suffering to the child. That is why it is prudent to wait for the right time, is the parent commentor's point I believe.
Another thing is that many people have a mid-life crisis in their 40s that can often be destructive. Try not to burn too many bridges. If you want to take some risks it's better done in your 20s or 30s.
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Very sorry to hear it didn't work out. Could you share how you got over it? Any other advice / experience that might be helpful for others?
Oh, it’s been a year and a half and I still feel lost, miserable, betrayed, and so on. My life literally got flipped upside down. I’m definitely not the right person to ask how to get over it. My attempts mostly include focusing on my children and their lives, a lot of going to the gym (daily), kayaking in the summer, snowboarding through the winter, reading, side projects. I’m still in the “never going to be in a re…