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Rejection Therapy (2011)

lincolnquirk.com

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Re: Rejection Therapy (2011)

#41

Post by cobertos »

philosopher1234 wrote: post #34
colpabar wrote: post #26

Earlier quoted context omitted.

>"Nobody took out a stiletto and cut my balls off" -- I've always loved that expression. I think the modern era equivalent would be having your picture taken and posted on social media with the intent of shaming you. I cannot say for sure whether it's more likely to happen, but posting a pic on twitter is significantly easier than mutilating someone with a dagger. It'd be interesting to see how this would work out to…

This seems insanely far fetched. Why would someone photograph you just for talking to them?

I walked by someone with a body cam yesterday who was stopping people to ask them about political beliefs in a abrasive way. People are definitely taking specifically crafted IRL things and using them as fuel in the digital space.

Not in a big city either, a smaller satellite city of a bigg midwestern city.

Re: Rejection Therapy (2011)

#42

Post by dtrent »

munificent wrote: post #4

Using strangers as unwitting tools in your own psychological therapy without their consent seems super sketchy to me.

It wouldn't pass an IRB. This sort of thing is fundamentally selfish. At best de minimis but you can imagine how annoying public life would get if tacitly recruiting strangers as unpaid therapists was at all common.

Re: Rejection Therapy (2011)

#43

Post by cobertos »

dtrent wrote: post #40

Asking strangers for things subjects them to anxiety too. Doing it as a form of free therapy is kind of shitty.

I disagree. I get this exact anxiety, but the anxiety needs to be challenged. The communication is what forms the bedrock of a healthy society that can talk about it's problems and needs and find it's way to the empathy of the decision makers.

Re: Rejection Therapy (2011)

#44

Post by throwamon »

mettamage wrote: post #37
colpabar wrote: post #26

Earlier quoted context omitted.

>"Nobody took out a stiletto and cut my balls off" -- I've always loved that expression. I think the modern era equivalent would be having your picture taken and posted on social media with the intent of shaming you. I cannot say for sure whether it's more likely to happen, but posting a pic on twitter is significantly easier than mutilating someone with a dagger. It'd be interesting to see how this would work out to…

> It'd be interesting to see how this would work out today. I've approached 1000s of people about ten years ago. Back in 2012, it wasn't an issue. The worst rejections I've faced were: * a woman shouting very loudly to go the f- away. I immediately backed away put my hands up and replied "ok". Her loud voice grew softer as our distance grew. This was at a train station. * I was pushed down from a stairs. I should've…

Have you ever avoided situations due to social anxiety? Ever had trouble keeping a conversation going? How many times have you been explicitly called attractive/unattractive by someone you felt attracted to? Was your childhood good (caring parents, enough food, no bullying)? Genuine questions.

Re: Rejection Therapy (2011)

#45

Post by dtrent »

cobertos wrote: post #43
dtrent wrote: post #40

Asking strangers for things subjects them to anxiety too. Doing it as a form of free therapy is kind of shitty.

I disagree. I get this exact anxiety, but the anxiety needs to be challenged. The communication is what forms the bedrock of a healthy society that can talk about it's problems and needs and find it's way to the empathy of the decision makers.

maybe but making the decision for someone else of whether, when, and how their anxieties should be challenged is, again, kind of shitty

Re: Rejection Therapy (2011)

#46

Post by at_a_remove »

dtrent wrote: post #40

Asking strangers for things subjects them to anxiety too. Doing it as a form of free therapy is kind of shitty.

You just asked me to consider yet one more thing in the vast machinery of social behavior. I didn't need that! That's also kind of shitty.

Re: Rejection Therapy (2011)

#47

Post by daniel-cussen »

cobertos wrote: post #41
philosopher1234 wrote: post #34

Earlier quoted context omitted.

This seems insanely far fetched. Why would someone photograph you just for talking to them?

I walked by someone with a body cam yesterday who was stopping people to ask them about political beliefs in a abrasive way. People are definitely taking specifically crafted IRL things and using them as fuel in the digital space. Not in a big city either, a smaller satellite city of a bigg midwestern city.

Oh yeah I was getting filmed talking to a book dealer who sold his books on the sidewalk. Nine days ago. Just some asshole staring at us and filming with what looked like a digital photographic photo camera, it was small. I went up to him and asked him what the fuck, he said "oh haha nothing nothing I wasn't filming" while you could see filming on his screen.

That's what you get for making billions of video cameras, they actually get used sometimes. They're little black holes, light cannot escape them.

Re: Rejection Therapy (2011)

#48

Post by LAC-Tech »

I live rurally now, running errands in towns of about 8000, 200 and 900 people respectively.

I've been engaging in a lot more smalltalk. I'm very rusty at it to be honest (no one talks to anyone in cities), but I think overall it's been good to me.

Asking for favours though... I don't know, seems a little weird. I'd be extremely mistrustful of any strangers asking me for a favour.

Re: Rejection Therapy (2011)

#49

Post by InitialLastName »

dtrent wrote: post #42
munificent wrote: post #4

Using strangers as unwitting tools in your own psychological therapy without their consent seems super sketchy to me.

It wouldn't pass an IRB. This sort of thing is fundamentally selfish. At best de minimis but you can imagine how annoying public life would get if tacitly recruiting strangers as unpaid therapists was at all common.

Third Place [0] theory would suggest that places where you can meet and interact with (semi-) strangers are critical to building communities. I'd argue that a part of that is the internal self-development function that is served by talking to strangers (effectively 'recruiting strangers as unpaid therapists`). Done well, it is mutual (you are each building social trust by interacting with one another).

[0] https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Third_place

Re: Rejection Therapy (2011)

#50

Post by omginternets »

whatshisface wrote: post #18

This is a tragedy of the commons scenario that will ultimately lead to people being less friendly. Right now it's assumed that if someone comes up to ask you for something, they have a good reason.

I dunno, I've lived in places where casual interaction is more common, and it can be delightful. A culture of "don't talk to me unless there's a practical issue" is, at the very least, prone to atomization.

In fact, I don't think you're quite right about the tacit assumption involved. I rather think it is assumed that if someone asks you something, they it is not for instrumental purposes. If someone is talking to me, it's because they want something; that request had better be legitimate. And this is what I find unnerving about "Rejection Therapy" and its ilk: I'm being used as a means to an end.

I think we need more interaction with no-strings-attached, not less.

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