Hacker News Board Hacker News, browsed like a classic message board
Live data from Hacker News

No is a complete sentence

networkingnerd.net

Post reply on HN
Print view View original

41–50 of 99 posts

Re: No is a complete sentence

#41

Post by [deleted] »

beachy wrote: post #29
LudwigNagasena wrote: post #27

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> When I read the title, I imagined this would be about social and romantic situations. In personal contexts, of course you have the right to say no with no further explanation. Maybe you need to rethink that. Do your friends really warrant less respect than colleagues?

Personal contexts are different. Quite acceptable to say just "No" to: - do you want me to get you a drink? - may I kiss you? - I hear they're doing shrooms next door, shall we join them?

[deleted]

Re: No is a complete sentence

#42

Post by automatoney »

awillen wrote: post #22
hn_throwaway_99 wrote: post #5

From an organizational perspective, this is horrible advice: > Let me tell you clearly. “No” is a complete sentence. It requires no explanation or defense. The "It requires no explanation or defense" part is just plain wrong . If someone asks you to do something in an organization, it's fine to say "No", but an explanation is nearly always expected. And this explanation is critical, because often time the answer is s…

When I read the title, I imagined this would be about social and romantic situations. In personal contexts, of course you have the right to say no with no further explanation. In professional contexts... you're being paid to be to serve the business. If someone who's part of that business asks you something, you don't get to just say no unless you're the CEO. You can say no and explain that you're not the right perso…

Agreed on the personal contexts - and also where I expected the article to go. I think a better argument for professional contexts is that everyone is expected to maintain a certain level of professionalism and politeness - including CEOs. Or in other words I don't think the obligation comes from the company hierarchy, but from being in a professional context at all (for example working with someone at a different company).

A solid article on the personal context no's for anyone reading by is by Captain Awkward: https://captainawkward.com/2011/03/23/the-art-of-no/

Re: No is a complete sentence

#43

Post by [deleted] »

inopinatus wrote: post #34
hn_throwaway_99 wrote: post #5

From an organizational perspective, this is horrible advice: > Let me tell you clearly. “No” is a complete sentence. It requires no explanation or defense. The "It requires no explanation or defense" part is just plain wrong . If someone asks you to do something in an organization, it's fine to say "No", but an explanation is nearly always expected. And this explanation is critical, because often time the answer is s…

Counterexample: "What's your favourite kind of theatre?" "No." I'd need more explanation if they said Yes¹.

[deleted]

Re: No is a complete sentence

#45

Post by makeitdouble »

hn_throwaway_99 wrote: post #5

From an organizational perspective, this is horrible advice: > Let me tell you clearly. “No” is a complete sentence. It requires no explanation or defense. The "It requires no explanation or defense" part is just plain wrong . If someone asks you to do something in an organization, it's fine to say "No", but an explanation is nearly always expected. And this explanation is critical, because often time the answer is s…

“No” is too abrasive in most situations, but any flavor of “Sorry, it won’t be possible.” is a valid complete response to be processed by the person asking.

I am sympathic to author’s argument that you stay there with a valid explanation upon request and start work it out with the other party from there as needed.

Clearly stating that something won’t happen is a first important step. It often gets muddied if you start diving into menial details right away.

In particular, if as the author states, it’s a conclusion you’ve already reached and the situation will need to change to get to any different outcome.

> It is the only thing you need to say when you know you won’t be able to do something no matter how much the other party tries to get you to agree.

Re: No is a complete sentence

#46

Post by not2b »

Rather than a direct no, some version of "Yes, if" usually works better. Yes, I can do that for you, if. If I'm given the resources to do that job, and I'm relieved of some existing work. Yes, if some prerequisite can be delivered by other people. Just lay out honestly what it would take to drop existing work and fulfill this additional request.

Re: No is a complete sentence

#47

Post by Sxubas »

automatoney wrote: post #42
awillen wrote: post #22

Earlier quoted context omitted.

When I read the title, I imagined this would be about social and romantic situations. In personal contexts, of course you have the right to say no with no further explanation. In professional contexts... you're being paid to be to serve the business. If someone who's part of that business asks you something, you don't get to just say no unless you're the CEO. You can say no and explain that you're not the right perso…

Agreed on the personal contexts - and also where I expected the article to go. I think a better argument for professional contexts is that everyone is expected to maintain a certain level of professionalism and politeness - including CEOs. Or in other words I don't think the obligation comes from the company hierarchy, but from being in a professional context at all (for example working with someone at a different co…

Thanks for sharing the article, I found it very insightful

Re: No is a complete sentence

#48

Post by inopinatus »

inopinatus wrote: post #34
hn_throwaway_99 wrote: post #5

From an organizational perspective, this is horrible advice: > Let me tell you clearly. “No” is a complete sentence. It requires no explanation or defense. The "It requires no explanation or defense" part is just plain wrong . If someone asks you to do something in an organization, it's fine to say "No", but an explanation is nearly always expected. And this explanation is critical, because often time the answer is s…

Counterexample: "What's your favourite kind of theatre?" "No." I'd need more explanation if they said Yes¹.

[1] counter-counter-example:

    "which one is your favourite unix command?"
    "no, yes".

Re: No is a complete sentence

#49

Post by stadium »

hn_throwaway_99 wrote: post #5

From an organizational perspective, this is horrible advice: > Let me tell you clearly. “No” is a complete sentence. It requires no explanation or defense. The "It requires no explanation or defense" part is just plain wrong . If someone asks you to do something in an organization, it's fine to say "No", but an explanation is nearly always expected. And this explanation is critical, because often time the answer is s…

> Has someone asked you to do something recently that you know you don’t have time to do but felt like you needed to do anyway?

"When is this needed" is a great alternative to a hard "no". It opens up a conversation about priorities. And lets you transparent about what needs to get delayed so that this new priority can be worked. It's a perfectly reasonable conversation to have, and helps you keep healthy boundaries.

Post reply on HN